As the Sun hung askew over Lunageria, bathing it with a warm afternoon glow, a shiny-armored soldier paced the front of the massive gold-plated gate that led into the city, looking up once in a while to make sure that he was covering all the bases. His shadow on the ground reflected the … Continue reading Bounty Hunter -TheNakedConvos.com’s The Writer2014 Finalist’s Entry Wk 2
The Brigerian Airline flight attendant sprayed into the plane’s overhead luggage compartments as she cat-walked towards me. I turned to Akwete. “Why is she spraying the bags?” “You ask her.” I looked around, hoping to recruit like-minded faces. No dice. I waved at the attendant. “Ma’am, why are you spraying the overhead?” Her smile disappeared. … Continue reading Uko Bendi Udo – Yeye Dey Smell
Kim Afia steadied the blue JVC Everio camcorder in her grip, recovering quickly from the dissonance caused by Madame Mmayen Afia’s sudden appearance. Mmayen shoved her regal outfit of lace dress and gele into the camera’s eye, striding into view straight-backed, and head held high, as if she were approaching royalty. In her hands sat … Continue reading A Naija, an Akata, and a Mother-In-Law: Class is in Session!
A Lagos tattoo artist gets caught up in an explosive sexual thicket when he detours from attending his birthday party to confront his girlfriend for ditching the party. ____ Uyi walked into the New Lagos Bar looking like someone had just said something nasty to him about his mama. He walked past the “Wait … Continue reading Sandwich
With a mixed accent of Caribbean and British origins, Dr. Brighton peered from behind his saggy glasses and asked, “Why’re you here?” Sunday sniffed at the air, wondering the same thing. He also wondered where the whiff of Jamaican beef patty was coming from. He made a mental note to himself to get one … Continue reading A Naija, an Akata, and a Mother-in-Law: Tory Don Get K-Leg.
Holy Grail A wide grin Stretches my chin As I flail To grasp the Holy Grail A sharp shriek Says it’s bleak For Baby Aaron Needs immediate attention Your turn Says my dear chum As I get a smooch On my grumpy tooch Not exactly perfume This reek from him … Continue reading Holy Grail
When Bilu first saw the figure, he thought that he’d seen a ghost, and so he jerked away from the window, bumping hard into Mama. Mama spilled the beans in the plastic cup, steadied herself, and then puckered her lips as she shot a hard stare at him. “What’s wrong with you?” With the … Continue reading Tickets to Oombi
Ibrahim leveled the gun at Konji, and then squeezed the trigger. Click. Konji woke up from its early afternoon snooze and nodded involuntarily at the visitor. Ibrahim imagined reprising the act with Sergeant Udoji, wondering how the idiot would react to a real bullet hitting him in the head. What a cherished sight that … Continue reading The Equalizer
Like a captive hurtling towards freedom He reaches out for the fangs Of the spitting spigot. Groping warily for this wayward son She catches the sweet stings on her hands And becomes a reluctant convert. Perhaps he heard the calling Beyond the swirling mists Causing him to skirt the warning Of those scolding … Continue reading Kindred Spirit
I dropped my fork when I saw her walk into the hotel’s restaurant, her underwear peeking cagily from behind her thin, stylish summer dress. She stopped and scanned the room as if she were looking for a particular face. In a bid to pick up my fork, I bumped my head against the dinner table. … Continue reading Sticky Situation
Kim stopped advancing towards Mmayen, but kept both of her hands on the gun and her eyes on Mmayen. Kim sighed deeply, and then slowly stretched out her left hand to accept Sunday’s cell phone. Sunday stood frozen in place like a figure at the Wax Museum. He held out his hands as if poised … Continue reading A Naija, An Akata, and A Mother-in-Law 4: Who wears the sokoto in this house?
“Ouch!” Sunday flung the charred pot away and gripped his right wrist reflexively. The smoking pot slammed against the refrigerator, bounced about aimlessly, and then settled awkwardly at a corner on the checker board ceramic floor of the kitchen. Sunday fanned his face, in a bid to shoo away the ashy smell of the … Continue reading A Naija, an Akata, and a Mother-in-Law 3: Today Na Today!
“Stop her!” “Who is this?” Uncle Ebong’s deep baritone boomed on the other end of the phone line. “Sunday.” Uncle Ebong paused. “Are you all right?” “Is Mmayen there?” “She just left with the car. Is anything wrong?” Sunday depressed the red button on the phone, cutting off the conversation. He leaned against the kitchen … Continue reading A Naija, an Akata, and a Mother-in-Law: Which Side You Dey?
The up-and-down movement of the knife in Kim Afia’s grip kept up with Earl Klugh’s guitar licks as the knife sliced the red carrot into bits. Kim swayed gently to the music, at once dancing with an imaginary partner, and then chopping up the carrot stick without losing a beat. Sunday Afia, wearing a business … Continue reading A Naija, an Akata, and a Mother-in-Law: E Don Shele
I stepped out onto the concrete pavement fronting the two-story brick public housing building and froze in place. To my right, a black top beckoned. It stretched into the far distance, crisscrossing with the main road that took a commuter out of the neighborhood. To my left, a back-door route beckoned. A brick wall closed … Continue reading Two Naijas in London