Arike’s Diary II

 

Here I am in the arms of a stranger, feeling all the tenderness and love that I have longed desired. It seems God has decided to put a smile on my face tonight after many years of constant abuse and disdain by men. Here I am with someone who is not ready to rush me into the act or compel me to act in an awkward manner to entice him. Akin is gentle, calm and loving for the little I can gather tonight, he is no way in the league of men that women give births to these days. I am proud to say blessed is the womb that bore this one.

He requested that I put the light off after he had connected a projector to his computer so that there will be a better view for two as we lay on the bed directly opposite where we are. A thought came to my mind as the movie was about to begin. Curiosity allowed me to ask myself what sort of guy requests for a prostitute with a huge amount of payment yet does nothing to appease his prodigal third leg. I wonder if he is a ‘complete man’ or probably he is homosexual or someone sick inside, depressed dude?  At a point I had to agree that there are some things only time can tell… The trial of a marriage counsellor. Yea. The movie title just came within a flash; it is one of Tyler’s new movies. He looked at me for a second to examine the excitement I could not hide. Trust me, there was more to me this night if this is what we shall be doing, I have prepared my mind to enjoy every bit of moment with this guy for the little he had done. In fact, I took him as my ABF. Don’t ask me what that actually meant. He is on an adventure, and I should not be left out in taking chances tonight. To get the fullness of him, I spread myself upon his chest and locked my legs around his. He felt quite shy and reluctant but I just did what I had to do- experiment with the ‘mumu’ guy. He just looked at me with bewilderment like I stole something from him.

I later noticed something odd about him as the film kept changing scene, he is very not comfortable with deep kisses and romance played in the movie, at every instance he resorted to forwarding not minding how I felt. He made me feel like his little sister below twelve but I am very sure girls below this age see all these and they are unmoved compared with the pictures on their minds. At a point I almost asked him why he was doing that- something in me just kept mute, I wonder if his kongi is receiving strength inside his pant. I navigated around that spot but nothing pointed to that. “Is this guy alright at all?” I pondered. He seemed immune to touches as if I was just a blanket around him. At a point I almost grabbed his strong short man but I could not estimate the reaction this would bring. “It could trigger the other crazy part that I do not like or get him very mad at me?”Something in me feels like taken advantage of him. I concluded seduction is not a good thing here, he is a man and he would always know when to make his moves.

The movie ended. I did not really make out due to all the troubles I subjected my poor mind. “What next?” I speculated. After the movie what is the next line of action?

The movie ended with regrets. Felt very bad for the counsellor for her loss. She acted the whore and reaped a bad end. Akin politely pulled me away from him as he walked toward the switches. He clicked on them, went back to his system, shut it down and removed cords connection of the system and projector. He went to the wardrobe and kept his bags, system and projector there. I laid on the bed patiently counting the time and waiting for the young’s man next move. I adjusted my pyjamas, unbuttoning some before he said “let us pray before we sleep”. It was like someone poured cold water on me. “Prayer?”, I asked and ‘yes’ he replied. “What sort of joke is that?”, “are you going to fuck me fast and get over with this childish act”, deeply infuriated. “Who on earth pays Ashawo to pray together for the night, you better stop all these emotional pranks”. I thought my anger would reset his brain but alas he was indifferent, “I am the type that does so”, replying with a smile,” For a fact this is part of the job you will be doing for the next three days”, it was like two minds and bodies communicating. I smacked him a hard gestures. I was his joke now and he laughed hard. My anger subsided and was replaced with humiliation that I had condescended to a lady who wouldn’t appreciate a good treatment. I succumbed and we closed our eyes for the night’s prayer. His prayer was brief with lots of thanks to God for this and that. “If he loves God this much, he needs a godly lady and not a street lady like me” I quietly judged. We finished praying, exchanged good nights and I got the quickest side hug. “You can put out the lights if you want” that was the last words he uttered as he lay gently at the left side of the bed.

He went to bed and slept but I dared not. I laid restless thinking about the beginning of the whole stuff between us. He could be full of surprises which I do not know. I have read of many things in papers about rituals and that was all my mind could point at. I became a watchwoman for the night, I went to the switch to put the lights out, sluggishly dragged my foot to the bathroom to check around for strange materials or images. “Could it be inside the wardrobe” I analysed my thought. After a little mind search and calculative suggestion, I became tired since there is nothing that points to a sinister act. I looked under my pillow yet found nothing, checked beneath the bed again but nothing surfaced. What does this guy really want? I became apprehensive with my heart beat pounding heavily.

A long while ago, he asked me to pray with him but reluctantly I gave in. Now it seems I would need to do a serious vigil. My eyes were open; my lips could not stop mumbling in prayers. I became the reverend sister that suddenly says prayer. I don’t even remember when last I went for vigil, not even the New Year’s Eve because over the last 7 years it has been business as usual. This night, I learned the best way to silently speak in tongues.

3:00am. Still fully awake, no slumbering not even a thought of it. I became the paid night watch, carefully listening to Akin’s snores and drawls. I felt sentenced for a capital offense here, watching over a full grown adult who can’t even devour the daughter of Eve. The night itself went sluggishly, not fast at all for the cock to crow. Nothing really changed, he seemed far from here while I am still loaded with mounting fears of the unknown. I know I have done a lot of rubbish in this world but dying tonight in the hands of a suspected ritual is not the best thing. I kept praying silently, counting time from seconds and adding them up to successive minutes. It can be anything tonight but sleeping definitely would be out of it.

 

3;23 am. He turned his body and I pretended to be sleeping. Carefully alerted to what was next.

 



4 thoughts on “Arike’s Diary II” by lawore olufemi (@laworemike)

  1. I read the first part when you posted this piece and there were alot of errors in it that I thought you could have worked on as you were writing the next installment to ‘Arike’s Diary’, but really (I am sorry if I sound harsh) this one is worse than the first. The errors were just spread all over the story. Lemme point them out to you;

    1) “Here I am in the arms of a stranger, feeling all the tenderness and love that I have longed desired”.

    Longed as a verb is wrong. Long is correct cos you can use it as an adjective or verb. But since your story is in the past, then the phrasal verb, “long for”, should have been appropriate.

    At the end of the day,”Long for”or “Desired”, would have passed your message across. But you were trying to use long and desired as one word.

    2) This is a narrative, meaning it is in the past. You use the verb,”is”, instead of “was”. Your use of the past tense was off.

    Check this out;

    i)”What is the next line of action”, Instead of , “What was the next line of action”

    ii) ”Something in me feels like taken advantage of him”.

    iii) “that there will be a better view for two as we lay on the bed directly opposite where we are”

    “Where we were”, not ”where we are”

    iv) ‘He requested that I put the light off ‘,

    “He requested that I switch-off or turn-off the light or put-out the light”, should be the correct statement.

    v) “trial of a marriage counsellor. Yea. The movie title just came within a flash; it is one of Tyler’s new movies”

    Everything here was muddled up. What wasthe Yea! doing there after the full stop? And why did you just write Tyler with out th surname? There are other people with the name “Tyler”

    The movie title came up on the screen; The Trail Of A Marriage Counsellor”, was the title. It was one of Tyler Perry’s movies should be the correct statement.

    Notice the use of ‘feel’, instead of, ‘felt’ and the use of ‘taken’, instead of ‘taking’.

    ‘Akin is gentle, calm and
    loving for the little I can gather tonight’

    Instead of;

    ‘Akin was gentle, calm and
    loving from the little that I had noticed tonight’.

    This would have been okay to pass your message across

    3) ‘Fast forward’ not ‘Forwarding’

    “Fore-play”, not “romance”

    4) You got me confused here;

    ‘The movie ended. I did not really make out due
    to all the troubles I subjected my poor mind’,

    Inspite of the error in this statement I was able to decipher what you meant.

    You meant that you were not concentrating and you could not understand what happened in the movie.

    Now assuming that I am correct, you now contradicted yourself with this statement;

    The movie ended with regrets. Felt very bad for
    the counsellor for her loss. She acted the whore
    and reaped a bad end.

    I hope you understand my plight.

    Finally the transistion from trying to watch a movie together to her spreading herself on his chest was just so sudden.

    Pls try to work on details as regards your story.
    Also your tenses.

    Keep on writing.

  2. @Tafade…thank you for the patience in reading and I love the fact that you took your time to bring out the errors…this is what I appreciate when people read my works. I will improve on error corrections and wont rush to complete any work.

    Please always feel free anytime to say your mind on what I write especially stories…people’s corrections and criticism made my poems better and I believe if I keep having people like you critic my poem and stories, I will be a better writer.

    thank you sir.

  3. (@laworemike): There is no problem sir. We are all here to improve one another. No one knows it all.

    Keep on writing.

  4. Yeah@laworemike you need to improve on your writing structure. I like the fact that you are open to criticism and humble. Remember, if one wants to make it to the top, he/she needs others. I love the way you brain storm, looking for relevant and significant things to write about. Know you have a fan!

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