Monday morning vacation was due, woke up very early as i watched the veil of light-over-darkness grew my mind being conscious of that (the fear for the dark flew)…kuku ruku (the chicken crewed).
At that moment i wished it would be day all-through; Cherish the day-light like rubies and cookies but many never understood saying “bro what’s up with u?…always smiling all day through, nawa for you” and i said “it’s in the night that darkness consumes pls let me enjoy the pleasant rhythm of the day-light’s perfume..inhale..damn it smells good!, don’t you watch horror movies or scary cartoons?” Jide grinned and said”boy being paranoid is like a shoe wear it and it leads your path too” hearing that he left me confused and i said to my-self “maybe i shouldn’t be scared of the dark too”…
“12.02AM” in the morning my phone rang! using(nokia tune) still sleepy..i yawned as i answered “hello Rabui” his voice on the phone was skeptical kept panting trying to use the most suitable of words to break the news didn’t hear all he said clearly though but the little i heard was enough to change my mood “Jide ti ku” in english..(Jide is dead) he said in a sad mood, immediately i cut the phone and fell to my kneel grabbed my bible by my bedside and the candle in-between it!…”it’s better to be paranoid!” my thoughts kept echoing inside of me…”Jide is dead due to wrath of the evil that lurks at night” knowing that no man would want to end up like him; kept praying to the most high until i felt at peace!, slept on the tiled floor until the day-light once again struck the heart of the dark.
Ahhh..”again morning it is..thank you Lord” stretched my arm to the stool beside my bed where my journal was, strolling through the pages! my mind triggered this “Lord this is not the way to live; drowning in sorrow at night is not the way to be pleased” my thoughts kept saying to me “a new reign must begin, follow the lord in truth and spirit and your sleep shall be sweet”
Heavenly tunes of the lord i heed closed my journal and my mind said “a new chapter begin”……
em, I think you ‘really’ need to consider rewriting this piece. There is a heavy invasion of typos and tense confusion, plus it was so hard following the story, honestly, I couldn’t.
I can imagine the excitement of joining this community and wanting to be read, but you need to calm down and really prepare your works before posting them here, hm.
Hmmm? I don’t understand….This piece screams just one thing: REWRITE!!!!!!!!
Never, ever, post Ur first draft.
@scopeman60 @raymond, abeg make una no kill this guy…he did a good job even writing stuff for the site and putting in so much effort,…he deserves a well done for that…of a truth, this piece does need a re-write…
@Xikay, hehehehe….Look at Pencil calling Sharpener instrument of learning…Hehehehe…
The punctuation used in this story made it very difficult to read - it has a very ‘rushed’ feel to it.
@raymond, you can call it finesse…lolz…
HEARD YOU ALL LOUD AND CLEAR
*The chicken clucked* I know about the punctuation marks! it’s an intended error! but would keep that in mind when posting new ones