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Tola Odejayi @TolaO ?

active 31 seconds ago
1920points Rank - JuniorWriter
"OK… I’m gonna read all the stories I haven’t read on NS this weekend!" · View
Read all contributions by Tola Odejayi

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  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post Call me a story teller   1 hour, 5 minutes ago · View

    Now this I like. It’s so well written that an editor would not need to do much work on it. Kudos, Charles! As to the distinction between a story teller and an editor, well, I don’t want to distract from the comments on your post itself, so I’ve open a thread on the forum to [...]

  • Tola Odejayi started the forum topic Storytelling and editing in the group General Writing:   1 hour, 6 minutes ago · View

    I’ve just finished reading Charles Oluyori-Ack’s post, ‘Call me a story teller’ . In it, Charles makes a distinction between tellers of stories and editors. The post seems to say that story tellers are focus on the story itself, the characters, events, relationships, etc. and editors focus on how the story is told, the tenses/grammar used, the [...]

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment:   2 hours, 16 minutes ago · View

    Good on you, Nasiru. I hope we see your first story soon.

    In reply to - Mustapha Nasiru posted an update: Well am new here, just tryna do the 9ja thing lol write write till the end of time. · View
  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment:   2 hours, 18 minutes ago · View

    And if you have any further questions, feel free to send me a PM by going here: http://www.naijastories.com/members/febby/messages/compose/

    Type TolaO in the field to send the mail to.

    In reply to - febby posted an update: cant seem to undastand ow NS works, am new. help! · View
  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment:   2 hours, 20 minutes ago · View

    Hi Febby. Please check this link to see all the things you can do on NS: http://www.naijastories.com/how-the-site-works/

    In reply to - febby posted an update: cant seem to undastand ow NS works, am new. help! · View
  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment:   17 hours, 42 minutes ago · View

    Glad you’re liking it. Remember to go here to find out more about the site: http://www.naijastories.com/how-the-site-works/

    In reply to - Lakunle posted an update: excited with the NS experience… · View
  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post KNEE DEEP (1)   18 hours, 23 minutes ago · View

    Here are more examples of typos in the story (corrections/explantions in brackets): After Uncle Paul’s raucous laughter and Uju’s white dress coming brown at the hem from all that dancing. After Toju’s dark suit with its gold buttons and the blaze of orange and green wedding colours. The bright lights dimmed, and then snuffed out [...]

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post Stolen Manuscript (Prologue )   1 day, 22 hours ago · View

    Charles, I hope you’re not feeling discouraged by my comments - that’s not my intention at all. In fact, I think it’s great that you want to improve on the quality of your writing. I certainly agree with you that getting input from an editor would be a great idea. Good luck, and please, please [...]

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post Titin’ola   2 days, 5 hours ago · View

    The story is straightforward and simple - a story of a girl that gets pregnant. Personally, I prefer my stories to have more themes and conflict, but simple stories are not such a bad thing if the story is told in a creative and expressive way. But in telling this story, you use far too [...]

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post Come Mr Rushlow sir   2 days, 5 hours ago · View

    Who or what is Mr. Rushlow? That’s what I want to know.

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post KNEE DEEP (1)   2 days, 6 hours ago · View

    Your writing style is very… singular. You use expressions very creatively; sometimes, this works well for me, as in this part:

    So while Peter grew around glitter and learned to have something you didn’t necessarily have to , Toju grew up around rust where nothing got broken for fear of having to replace it.

    and this:

    [...]

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post Stolen Manuscript (Prologue )   2 days, 6 hours ago · View

    Charles,

    I’m afraid to say that the story STILL NEEDS WORK as far as tense confusion goes. I really think you should take the time to privately go through your story thoroughly and ensure that you are consistent with tenses.

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post Stolen Manuscript (Prologue I)   2 days, 18 hours ago · View

    Charles, There is a very high degree of tense confusion in this story. It is so high I have no idea whether you are telling the story in the present or past tense. For the avoidance of doubt, this is what I mean - if the story is in the present tense, the corrections should [...]

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post Library Talks   3 days, 4 hours ago · View

    I like the whimsical theme of the story - in fact, I wish you had continued with it. It sounds like a great opening for a much longer story - maybe something chronicling the adventures of the books, or the relationships between them.

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post Arrival   3 days, 23 hours ago · View

    I think that the delivery was a bit haphazard. You were introducing many things at once in a piecemeal way; the school field, Reincarnation, Agnes, the dog, etc., and you weren’t trying to connect them so that the story felt cohesive. But the story was very amusing, especially the perception about how school fields appear [...]

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post The diary of a Naija boy in the Diaspora - To gym or not to gym?   4 days, 1 hour ago · View

    Great post, OALOT. Another suggestion is to combine your lifestyle with your exercise. For example, I ride to work on my bike almost every morning, so I don’t have to worry about setting aside a separate chunk of time to exercise. Even if you aren’t a cyclist, you can choose to walk to work/school for [...]

  • Tola Odejayi posted on the forum topic WHEN SOMEONE CALLS A WRITER'S EFFORT, 'RUBBISH' in the group Creative Writing:   4 days, 5 hours ago · View

    Reminds me of a topic that I started here > Criticism - how to give it Read the comments by Ce Ug, especially. I try not to rubbish a story - worst case, I will say that I didn’t like it, and try to say why, and also suggest what I would have done differently. But [...]

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post Rewind   4 days, 21 hours ago · View

    I tried to get the story, but there were too many ‘jumps’ in the narrative that broke up the flow for me. From the shooting, to when Lade found out about Remi and Shola, to Tarkwa Bay, to the beginning… and in such a short space of time, too!

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post FATHER’S GHOST   4 days, 22 hours ago · View

    In addition to tense confusion and the opening paragraph removing the suspense, I’ll also add that I didn’t like the excessive use of commas here (sorry o, Xikay). For example, you had this:

    It happened on a fateful Monday morning, Ibrahim was going to his place of work as usual, he was a rich trader, usually [...]

  • Tola Odejayi commented on the blog post To Love a Liar   4 days, 22 hours ago · View

    Edydeyemi, this was very well written - very few typos, etc. I’ll admit that when I read overly romantic sections of books, my eyes tend to go into fast-forward mode, because I’m more interested in the conflict and drama in stories. Maybe I might have slowed down if I had got to know more about [...]

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