@ogundairo-abiodun, this was meant to be a sad story, but I didn’t really feel the sadness as much as I should have. Maybe you should have spent more time showing how much the MC had loved the mother while she was […]

The first paragraph fitted in well with the title, but from then on, you started to digress, @ogbolesamson.

Good going, @embijay, although I echo @schatzilein – it did feel short. Also, the paragraph with the second semester running fast felt out of place in a story that was about girls about to have fun.

Straightforward and generally well written poem, @uchennaebo.

I was confused by the POV switch, though. Why “you” in some verses, and “I” in others?

Also, I didn’t get this:

“whence the failure with […]

This was good, @afronuts. I like that even though Tade had some military experience, you didn’t turn him into an all-powerful Rambo, able to cut down the entire group of terrorrists.

I do wonder why the […]

Straightforward story, @Theo. I felt the opening sequence with the report mishap was a bit long, though.

I’m interested in hearing what could cause someone to carry pain in their heart for twenty years – that’s […]

I had the same thought myself, @afronuts. Even for a flash story, it’s still rather insubstantial; nothing really happens here.

And @levuz, the writing needs work; take this:

“Ojota! Ojota! Ojota!” A bus […]

Well written poem, @topazo. The ending lines were very apt, too.

Well done.

I was a bit confused at the description of the scene with the ‘mad man’; I had to go and read the previous installment before I realised what was going on, @deedeelicious. The things that some women will do to […]

Clearly expressed sentiments. I wish we all could experience what you saw in the arms of Morpheus, @mcsnol.

I wouldn’t use cliched expressions like ‘milk and honey’ and ‘Utopia’, though – I would want more […]

I liked this line in the poem, @mbanefo

“But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you…”

Very poignant.

These two lines, however, didn’t make sense to me:

“It even makes me rhyme
It promote my thinking to nothing”

@asokogi, the message of the poem is clear, but I think you tried to bring too many disparate images together in the writing (‘Missisippi’, ‘Amos and Deborah’) and this made the narrative confusing for […]

You use a flowing breezy style, @daireenonline, and it works well for the kind of story you’re telling.

My comments would be not to use so many commas where other punctuation would do, because it makes the […]

Very funny episode, @bunmifamiloni. I had been seeing stories from the series on the site, but I hadn’t got around to reading them up till now…. maybe now I will.

‘Nightsoilman’… ‘Playboy photographer’… I […]

I liked this, @afronuts. Good descriptions, and as usual, a very ‘real’ and interesting story. My mind is spinning in all kinds of directions wondering how this story will go, but I’ll have to be patient.

“Tade […]

Peer pressure will make you do the stupidest things, sometimes, @ayobare.

This would have been an easier read if you had added some paragraphs.

I found this rather insubstantial for a flash story, @vincentdepaul