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Tola Odejayi

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 7 hours, 36 minutes ago

    Nothing wrong with using cliches… they’re popular for a reason. It’s overuse that’s the problem, really.

    I don’t think that I’m likely to fall into a situation where I think that the cliche is an original phrase that I came up with, because when I come up with a phrase that is original, I like to make sure that it really is original, so I scour…[Read more]

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 7 hours, 39 minutes ago

    Thanks, @theo. Have you ever been challenged to start a story without knowing how it’s going to end? That would definitely be a way of testing your creative chops.

  • Ness has a funny attitude towards cheating, @levuz. Have I heard that joke somewhere before?

    The start to your story was confusing. Even now, I’m not clear who Bridget Williams is. You should introduce your […]

  • @innoalifa, this feels like two stories in one to me – a political thriller and a domestic romance – and I’m not sure that both stories fit comfortably together. Given that most of the time has been spent on the […]

  • @theo, this is very good. Well written, with lots of suspense and mystery, and inventive use of language (“… like a self-satisfied agama lizard”). This definitely has me wondering “what’s going on here? what’s […]

  • @herexg, there’s an interesting story here; not only do I wonder if/how the caliph will escape his prison and regain his throne, but I’m curious to know what happens when the men engage with the giant woman.

    But […]

  • @innoalifa, others have commented on the MC’s focus on a possible mistress. For me, what made it so unrealistic was that you had not indicated in previous episodes that she was suspecting that her husband was […]

  • I had read the past three episodes, hoping the story would move along, but not much seems to be happening in the MC’s life, @innoalifa. She has attended a party, things are picking up a bit on the home front, and […]

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 14 hours, 40 minutes ago

    Good luck, @feio. Looking forward to the story…

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 18 hours, 51 minutes ago

    Two ways, @feio:

    1. Assume they want criticism. The vast majority of people who submit stories do so because they do want honest feedback. On the rare occasion that you criticise someone and they react negatively, well, just remember to avoid their stories in future.

    2. Watch how people respond to criticism by others. Are they open and…[Read more]

  • @innoalifa, you went from not explaining why she pounced on the engineer in the last episode to over explaining here. It would have been better if this episode had come first.

    Watch out for tense confusion… […]

  • @innoalifa, @afronuts has echoed my feelings on the main character and the engineer.

    There’s nothing wrong with having unusual scenes in a story, but since they are unusual, you need to show the reader why they […]

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 1 day, 7 hours ago

    @feio, there’s no reason why the site cannot have multiple purposes. People (like myself) read stories and let the writers know what they like/don’t like. Other people read the stories purely for enjoyment.

    But really,, it’s up to you what you want to get out of the site. If you want to improve your writing, your best bet is to send a PM to…[Read more]

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 1 day, 8 hours ago

    I’ve been disappointed by epic films in the past (Pompeii, Immortals), so I guess I should stay away from this. But the critics seem to feel that it’s not too bad…

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 1 day, 16 hours ago

    Sorry, I just saw the answer to #1 (Out of the blue).

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 1 day, 16 hours ago

    Nice story, @omoniyi-adeshola. I love it when bullies get their comeuppance.

    So what’s your new phrase, then?

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 1 day, 17 hours ago

    Two questions, @topazo:

    1. What was the phrase for this story?

    2. What is the phrase for the next story?

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 1 day, 17 hours ago

    And what is your own phrase, @omoniyi-adeshola?

    Let’s keep this going; the short paragraphs submitted here can give one ideas for longer stories. :)

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 1 day, 17 hours ago

    Very funny submission, @dees-hive. For this, I give you 20 points.

    OK, here’s “Done and Dusted”:

    Ekaete looked again at her work with some anxiety. She really needed to leave this weekend to see her ailing father; after the last phone call she had got from home, she was not even sure if he would be alive by the time she got back. But her ever…[Read more]

  • Tola Odejayi posted a new activity comment 4 days, 2 hours ago

    Huh, @dees-hive. You should first make your story, then submit your phrase.

    But I like your phrase, so I’ll have a go:

    “The sound of sawing woke the carpenter’s son from his reverie; he had been dreaming again about the high life in air-conditioned cars, luxury hotels and gated mansions, a world away from the dust and grime of his father’s…[Read more]

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