Anyone who knew me would instantly conclude that I am not the church type. I can spend a whole year without stepping my foot within a church premises.Going to church was like a waste of time.i felt I was more s[piritual without beimg religious. So when Janet invited me for her church programme on Christmas … Continue reading Coffin On Christmas
Tell my story in the clouds, Recount my adventures with merriment, Build my story like courage in their hearts, How I conquered, and toiled Mother Earth, Never let them forget a day, as you lift their spirits in the eulogy of my courageous days, When all we knew was ourselves, Strength in the unison … Continue reading Earth becomes earth
***Welcome back Ness!*** Ness was somewhat reluctant to give the microphone to the unusually radiant woman, it was quite uncommon to see her happy on a Sunday morning, but Ness had no choice, he was sure that beneath the enthusiastic look of the woman was mischief, but as much as he was curious to know … Continue reading NESS (A Big Testimony)
“Life, in its very natural form, sometimes so unpredictable, unfathomable, formless and even lifeless! All life’s feelings; happiness, excitement, Eye sores, violence, embarrassment and all other man’s feelings are nothing more than the way the subject and receiver perceive them. If only we interpreted everything differently – positively!” – Me, January 7, 2022 Today, the … Continue reading Conception
Episode Four *** “There was a mishap along East- West road this morning. Nobody knew exactly how it happened, but a bus filled with student coming back from a church programme in Port Harcourt skidded off the tarmac and ran into a tree in the nearby bushes. One student died on the spot, the others … Continue reading THE MIRACLE PEDDLER [Episode IV]
Episode Three *** It was 7:45 p.m and the massive church auditorium was already packed to capacity. Large crowds had occupied the whole church area. Buses loaded with miracle seekers turned in their numbers into the venue. Traffic gridlocks had no end as the only access road was on a lock down. One could hear … Continue reading THE MIRACLE PEDDLER [Episode III]
Episode Two *** 5:30 p.m, thursday evening and Pastor was already in town. By 6:00 p.m he was sufficiently lodged in an exquisite hotel along F- Line in Ewet Housing Estate. The two girls were ushered in by Val and as they flirted and giggled seductively, Pastor sitting on one side of the giant twin- … Continue reading THE MIRACLE PEDDLER [Episode II]
Episode One *** 2:30 p.m, tuesday and the expected call just came through. Being the last week of the month, Pastor Kay was coming into Uyo from Port Harcourt and that was good news. Here was another chance to hustle him, have fun and rake some cool dough in at the end of the week; … Continue reading THE MIRACLE PEDDLER [Episode I]
I had a shave and a cold shower and then changed into my Sunday best. I looked at myself in my bedroom mirror and was pleased with the blend of the blue and white striped suit, white shirt and grey tie reflecting in it. Brilliant, I thought. I ate a couple of apples and off … Continue reading A Day at Church
I am the Church. You are the church the building is a church, we are a gathering of churches uniting in a church. I am the bride you are the bride we are a gathering of brides in a perfect union with our groom I am the head you are the head we are heads … Continue reading Holy Rant
I was beatified on the same day Sister Irene ‘Nyaatha’ Stefani became ‘Blessed’. While Blessed Irene Stefani began her journey to sainthood, I began mine to slut-hood. The only thing I share with Blessed Irene Stefani is Roman Catholicism and seven-frilled habits. Habits are religious cloths you moron, you can say dresses if you are … Continue reading Blessed Virgin Merry
I can feel it in my nerves. Every part of my body is yelling ‘Liar! Liar.’ I can feel that Shiri has known about me. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have behaved that way last week. And she wouldn’t have switched off her phone on me. I am hoping she calls me, just but to tell me … Continue reading Diary of a Rogue Priest: How I Killed the Bishop
“Hello sweetheart,” I said as I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. Not that she offered anyway. I had at last I got Shiri (by sheer luck) and she had conceded to meeting me (obviously at her place of choice). I couldn’t believe what my eyes were telling me. When I sat down … Continue reading Diary of A Rogue Priest: Love Slippin’ Away
The following day, Nene woke up still full of hope. The day was pregnant with the promise of great things, and she basked in it. She savored that warm, delightful feeling, which envelopes a person rising from sweet sleep, that sweet nothingness that entices the waker to slip back under the covers and continue dreaming. … Continue reading With Love From Asaba: Part 5
Shiri came from Israel on Monday. On Wednesday we had a date at the Intercontinental Hotel (the girl has class). After dessert she took my hand and led upstairs. This came by surprise. I wanted to tell her that I couldn’t, but deep inside me I knew I ought to play along, to be there … Continue reading Diary of a Rogue Priest: Story of My Life