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Memoir | Mystery | Poetry | Supernatural

OH! PASTOR

You teach us the ways of God … so many a times

You direct us to be holy … as holy as the Almighty

You direct our steps to walk in holiness … how I wish you do

Oh Pastor … You make me lost for words!

My Pastor, so desirable … someone I wish to emulate

My Pastor, my shepherd … so I’m told

My Pastor, my mentor … please spare me!

How sad I am right now, oh! Pastor

You lead people to God …

You say the words so strongly

You preach the words so passionately

Oh! Pastor, how I wish you just practice them

How do you treat your female folks … I ask

What do you do with the offerings paid by the masses?

How about the tithes of the poor and needy in distress

Hmmm … how you’ve turned the house of God to a business venture

But, I trusted you, oh! Pastor

I believed in the words you teach

I could have laid down my life to defend you … thank God I didn’t

How so shameful it is to learn of your evil ways!

You make people blaspheme God’s name … hmm …

You do more of money-making principles than winning souls …

You’ve forgotten that only a saved mind is taught the secrets behind wealth-making

…that only God can make a man wealthy without adding sorrow to it!

Can you count how many females in your congregations you’ve not spiritually washed inside out? … what a shame!

Can you sincerely look to heaven and tell the Almighty so sincerely how you have achieved this assignment you’ve so undertaken?

Can you be sincerely trusted … ?

So tell me do you become weak and melt at the smell of money … I mean money with all the syllables intact?

In distress I run to you  … Oh! Pastor … for advice…

In my anguish, I wish I can take you as my mentor … for emulation…

In my pain I cry to you for relieving words … as a leader…

I cry deeply and with anguish at the deteriorating state you find yourself in … I’m so ashamed!

I know you love God … everyone knows it …

I know you want to be PURE … as GOD adjures us to be …

I know you are passionate about the works of the Almighty … so very much …

But, Oh! Pastor … repent before its too late!

101 comments to OH! PASTOR

  • This was more like a sad point than a poem,it’s cool oh,pastors should be careful ‘coz people think they’re too good and true,but I don’t think we should judge them.nice one duh

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  • @boomingsols, your combination of poetry and prose is… HORRIBLE, to me, o! :( Jesus! This is, like, the second time I’m seeing this. Let me suggest that you take a creative writing course (not workshop, o!) If you’re teaching morals, then this should go under non-fiction. Your poetry is awkwardly prosaic. Mind you, it is a very dicey thing to combine poetry and prose together without making a mistake, and learning from it. If you don’t have a complete understanding of poetry and prose in order to combine them, to be either poetic prose or prosaic poetry, then the combination is a mistake or awkward.

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  • Hmm…I guess you need to dertermine how you want to structure your poem. Still I get the focus of your poem and it does have salient message in it.

    @Emmanuella…I beg to differ a bit. Creativity should never be limited. Forget if there’s a course that teaches you creative writing. Those are just basics which won’t help you really explore new terrains. Everyday, new concepts and discoveries break built barriers in the prose and poetry universe. Besides we have countless works of art that have been first critized for style and later appreciated as works of art.
    However for boomingsols, I’ll advice you take time to study other works and learn some basics for the sake of just knowing them. they may come in handy some day.

    Still, don’t stop writing and don’t be discouraged. You’ve got something good there; moral or not. keep doing your thing.

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  • @emmanuella-nduonofit: i think ‘HORRIBLE’ is an unfair score to give anybody’s work of art irrespective of its flaws. I suggest you take that back. Really. E no easy to write! Cool down… Poetry and prose are art forms. Not empirical sciences. We should generally have some leeway with expressing our thoughts…
    @boomingsols: Having said that, the mix of prose and poetry is kind of disorienting. Couldn’t tell when you lapsed in and out of the other. But your message rang true and clear. I actually enjoyed the irony of the last line. Simply work on your structure: you really have somethin to say…

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  • @ boomingsols; You have said your piece and your message is quite poignant, your structure needs some work though as others have rightly said.

    @emmanuella-nduonofit: some opinions of ours are better left unsaid and i also think ‘horrible’is overdoing it. Please try to be more circumspect in your criticisms, afterall you are supposed to help not malign potential.

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  • Your story and theme’re very okay for me. Structure and delivery, not too good. Overall though, a good poem. I was planning on taking some free lessons on poetry from Anderson. Maybe we might do it together. What do you say? Anderson’s really the man around here.

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  • @emmanuella i think horrible is very harsh, we are all budding writers here, and trust me when i say ur writing is far from prefect, so pls tone down the negativity, its too harsh

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  • @boomingsols i think ur style needs work, i love the poem aspect, depicting the true nature of the pastor, i think the whole mesh of poetry and prose should be more fluid, u can mesh them but u need to perfect it first…dont ask me how thou, i do know that writing more improves ur work, and loads and loads of revision…pls dont stop writing rather perfect it….

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  • boominsols: I like the message been passed across and the fact that you chose to write poetry,it aint easy.I know there’s something called free rhymes and there’s also spoken word but you still have some work to do.keep it up dear.
    @emmanuella-nduonofit: I dont know who you are but i know that people who criticize horribly like this usually suck at their own stories and i’m sure u’re not any better.Naija stories is n avenue for people to write and get encouragement and not writing competition,even myne whitman never criticizes anyone like this.So,if you dont have any meaningful and encouraging comment to make,kindly put a lid on it and save the rest of us the headache of reading your poor excuse for criticism.
    I hope you take this as nicely as boominsols did yours.

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  • @boomingsols - i love that you are exploring new writing methods. Thats the whole point of creativity. Of course you still need to work on it, as do we all. That’s the whole point of a site like this.
    Do keep doing what you are doing. You will definitely go places.

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  • @ emmanuella,thou shall not use the name of the Lord in vain and hope you understand what everyone is saying
    @ boomingsols,sweet,maybe you should change the category from poetry to musings or non-fiction,guess that would save you lots of trouble,but I got ur message sha.
    @ mona,you don vex oh,chey,you can even beat her up,lolz

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  • @boomingsols - Trust me, when it comes to creative writing, listen and read suggestions very very well, but always write what you enjoy. Animal Farm was seen as a non-publishable novel by all publishing houses but one that published it, today it is one of the all time best selling novels. When Samuel Beckett wrote, it took many years for his works to be fully understood. Today he’s often regarded as the father of absurdism. The point is this, do what you feel you really enjoy. Learn and experiment new genres. Try out people suggestions too. But never let what anyone tells you, Wole Soyinka or Amanda Adichie or any other f**king writer for that matter, affect what you believe is true arts. We’re all different and can never never be the same. The same way someone’ll like a skinny woman, another fat, another short, another tall, another big breasts, another big ass, another same sex, another opposite sex, another older girls, another younger girls, another men who like bj, another disgusted by bj, another anal sex, some geeks, some guys, some tomboys, some ladies and so on. Was listening to some six friends discuss. Now for a perfect date, four agreed you need to take a guy to a big fast food and eat as much as you can. One believed she’d see a movie with a guy that understands a lot about movies. The last girl believes a perfect date for her was just talking anywhere. It sounds weird. Talking anywhere. The movie girl spent four years in the university eating as much as she could but never enjoyed a good date. The talking girl, left the group after year one to trully discover herself. F**k the group and discover your full and true potentials potentials.

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  • @all - Emmanuella used the word she felt best represents what she read, think she oughtu to be left alone. One of the best writers ever was called ‘a ghoul of a soul’. He never stopped writing. In fact, he’s regarded as the father of realism today. We’re here to post works and expect honest reviews. If we honey-coat our reviews, how do we get better? No more invincible ‘horribles’ to Emmanuella, she gave her honest opinion. And as an artistic writer, she meant no more than helping Boomingsols up her game and upping her game boomingsols will. We all leave it at that. Artists are strong. Criticism makes us stronger.

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  • @Boomingsols - Waiting for next post…

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  • @gretel, @mona, @Meena, @Elly, @cikko907, yes o! I got a well-deserved FLOGGING!!! Ouch-ouch-ouch…!!! Especially from @mona!!! Make I pick-pin as well? ;) God, I even loved her very blunt opinion the most! Such people really interest me. I’m patiently waiting for an invite from her. Sorry, em, I’m not good at finding friends in this site. :D

    Well, em, I thank @Jaywriter for coming to my defense (rescue?), in a way. God, I blush!!! (*blush,though dark-skinned*) Ewo, how very very very bitter the truth can be!! I say this because we here at naijastories as naijastories authors are trying to pursue the truth, right? In our individually unique ways, correct? The bitterness of it marvels me, my dear boomingsols. Take me as oke (rat), ok, for instance. U chop food, u no wash ur hand, u con sleep, me wey b oke con dey chop d food wey dey ur hand, u no go ever no becos me I dey chop,dey pet u,dey blow air for ur hand. Shebi u understand me?

    Publishers out there are vicious, far more vicious than I was in my commentary here. They will make you cry once they reject your work, and this can shake your self-esteem a lot. Like I told @Isaac, life is simple and also not that simple. My advice for a writers course is just it, an advice, a suggestion, something that may be good for you, good for your craft. I have the fear of writing and publishing, not the fear that I write badly or HORRIBLY. I don’t want you to have that fear at all, boomingsols, and I follow everyone here in saying that you have the potential of being a good (very good) writer in the nearest future.

    Chei, I don cause kata-kata for here, and I apologise. E kpele gan, everyone!!!

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  • Writers are learners…the best of all is learned in trying, focusing and believing in the best….No one ever means any harm in all…We are all here like brothers, sisters…the lessons go onward…@ boomingsols..oil you pen and write on…the lessons has began….U are ok….

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  • hahahahaha!!!!! I missed this o! Chai, see vexations on NS! Aahh.. I knopw what to do… I shall write something very ‘contrary’ and hope to get a comment-fight too! lol!

    Truth be told, I did not get this piece… so I held my peace. But like Jay said, who knows… maybe another animal farm manuscript…? ( hard to see that, but hey…!)

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  • Oh Pastor! lol No need to flog a dead horse.
    Nice content babe; as for the structure, am sure you’ll get the hang of it some day.

    Make una free Emmanuella oh.

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  • Wow … where have I been all these while … hmmm …
    (Smiling) … I never expected anything lesser anyway … criticisms flying everywhere …
    I say a very big THANK-YOU to all who made the criticisms … they are well taken.
    One more thing: this is not judging as gretel feels … all what I write are realities … that’s the bitter truth!
    And to Emmanuella-Nduonofit, thanks all the same, I just want you to realize that Poetry, Prose or better still Prose poetry (guess that’s what you mean) is a choice of the writer. Also, what you feel or refer to as poetry today is all about what you read and taught. In other words, it came into play sometimes ago in the 19th Century (that really is not a subject of discourse anyway).
    And all that matters is a state of mind about how comfortable you feel when you write. Now, I don’t really feel that the rhythm or musical pattern of verses of write-ups that makes a poetic prose should be a problem when I write as the main focus is to pass a message across and get people along … who says rules of thumb must apply all the time (remember rules of thumbs are created by people in the first place & I can create mine too).
    & About going for lessons … you’re just making me smile more … really … ‘coz I think you need some lessons as Afronuts have pointed out. lol!
    All in all … there are better ways to point out errors … more more beautiful ways to do so. Thanks once again for the criticism!
    & to others who have also said one thing or the other, thanks also. But, my advice is this: “Never restrict yourself to a rule of thumb … writing is all about expressing your views structurally. If you do, then, you may end up not really passing across the message you intend to”.
    & to the others, even the best still learns … who am I then to say no? As far as I’m concerned, I know nothing yet!!!
    & Jaywriter, I’m sure my next post will shock you … just be @ alert. lol!
    to mona, Lade, gretel, treasured1, thanks for the pure criticisms …
    & to loyal cikko907, Elly Turtoe, Meena-Adekoya, yetitweets, abby, thanks for the audience.
    Thank-U, thank-u, thank-u all … for your honest reviews!

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  • very nice poem here.
    opinion is kinda divided and i agree with those who say we shouldnt judge the men of God.
    well done.

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    • And Anderson … Not a judgement issue please (there are always bad eggs)… you ought to have seen it from the lines ‘My Pastor’ (thats actually specific … not general) that its about those whose ways are obviously contrary to what they preach and the writer being dissappointed had to voice out his/her observations such that at the end of the day, had to preach (seeing that things had deteriorated so badly) … thats all!

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