One of Us

One of Us

Hi, my name is Frank and I’m gay. I know it sounds terribly weird introducing myself this way but I have come to the realization that the more I say it, the better my chances of accepting it.

I have always been gay. In fact, I recently found out that I might have been born gay.

Thanks to the boundless information that floats freely around the internet, I found out that there are several researches that indicate that some people have no choice but to be gay because they can’t help it. It’s in their genes, in their skin, it’s a part of them and there’s not a damn thing they can do about it.

The first time I realized that I wasn’t your average boy was when I was fifteen years old and my aunt stripped naked right in front of me.

It wasn’t that she had an ugly body, far from it; for a forty year old she had the body of a goddess. Her skin was a beautiful golden brown hue and was dewy with sweat as she stood in the sliver of sunlight that sliced through the partition of the closed bedroom curtains.

Her breasts were the first I had ever seen since my mothers’ and they stared at me, two unripe paw paws, areoles like a solar system surrounded by a colorful explosion of planets. They were thrusting forward like angry warriors spoiling for a fight and her legs…her legs were long, and lithe. She had splayed them apart and with her hands on her hips, had stood there like a super model waiting for a thunderous applause.

She had been coming on to me for weeks and didn’t even know it. A brush across my cheek, a gentle pat on my buttocks, hugs that lingered on more than they should have and accidental flashes of bared skin when we were talking about mundane things.

All I had felt was an initial sense of bewilderment and then acute embarrassment when the flashes of skin had become intentional displays of naked flesh.

And now she had moved in for the kill and I felt nothing but a desire to shriek like a banshee and hide in the furthest corners of the earth; nothing but a desire to take off my shirt and cover the artistic tapestry of a body that was begging to be taken.

She had mistaken my horror for shyness and had come forward to the spot where I stood frozen, then grabbed my hands and placed them on her breasts, her hands over mine, making me knead them as though I were a blind man being directed to the promised land.

And still I felt nothing. But my hands moved in rhythm with hers and soon she was moaning as I kneaded away, a student with nothing but a technique.

Her moans died in her throat when she grabbed my crotch and felt the lifelessness that dwelt there. I hung as placidly as dead chicken on display in the meat market.

What happened next should have been the fantasy of every teenage boy but was a nightmare for me. She licked and tickled and feathered and slithered and bumped but I gave nothing….rose to none of the strenuous occasions she created. And finally, she left me alone, gathering up her clothes in silence and refusing to look me in the eye. She walked out and like telepathic twins we never mentioned a word of what happened to each other or anyone else for that matter.

I didn’t think I was gay even after that. After intense retrospection I concluded that I couldn’t get it up because she was my aunt, the sister of my mother and therefore I was emotionally castrated by blood.

But when my Dupe my first girlfriend at the age of twenty offered me her virginity I felt the same thing I felt with my aunt and more…a desire to die.

I kept to myself pretty much after that, nursing my fears like a paranoid mother, avoiding everything female and keeping everything male at arm’s length until I met Tunde.



64 thoughts on “One of Us” by estrella (@estrella)

  1. I love wat u did with words to ur aunty… Simply breathtaking! Ur story, ur story, ur story? I’d rather talk about ur narrative strengths. Frank, I love u… U write very well. Narration makes any story wat it eventually becomes. It sets imagination in motion, such power and precision. And the content? I’m wat my society has made me! I never judge people, but I am my society.

  2. @estrella, i liked this story much as i hate to tell you that i dont agree that anyone was born gay…neither do i subscribe to homo-stuff….you did write this well…

    1. We’re this society where we find ourselves… I feel for him, something went wrong.

    2. @Xikay, I refute you on that one, dear. I got into a chat with one of my gay friends, female of course, who proved it to me beyond a reasonable doubt that there is a homosexual gene in everyone, embedded somewhere in the brain. I spoke with an elderly man over this, and he confirmed it. Please, @Xikay, make a research over this, because I was told that biologically speaking, one can be born gay, yes. I stand to be corrected!

      1. how can i be born gay? is gayness a genetically transferred trait? i beg to disagree. it is circumstances and social conditions that condition a persons mind towards certain traits

        1. Let me put it to you this way Xikay: does one learn to be a thief? Does one learn to be a liar, or one is born that way?

          The bible tells us that ‘man’s nature is inherently evil’ and ‘only by the blood of Christ’ can one get redemption. What does that read like to you?

          We all have strains of evil inside us. It just so happens that the gay guys choose to nurture or are thrown into circumstances that nurture that part of them.

          Hope you get my jist.

  3. Estrella, I really like this story.First let me applaud you for being so bold.The world we live in is unfortunately not very accepting of story characters like Frank which you can already see by the responses you got.I like the way you tell the story at the first person and the imagery in the description of the aunt’s body.I also like the last sentence which gives the idea of a second part.I’m looking forward to it.Kuddos!

  4. I have had gay friends and they are nice people. I don’t have anything against people who are gay. I think some people are just born that way.

    Since either Yin No More or Undiscovered Discovery, can’t remember which is yours and Meena’s, I have been one of your biggest fans. This one didn’t disappoint.

    You have a well-told story here. The mood of the MC was quite impressive too.

    I am not sure using a 40 year old aunt and a virgin girl is a good way to know how ‘gay’ you are. Maybe not using those characters would have made the piece a lot stronger. A lot of guys would seriously ‘pass’.

    I really enjoyed reading it, as always. I hope you relook those two characters.

    1. Well, to me sha, the approach @Estrella used was ok for the moment, but I know that if she wishes to re-look this [not RE-WRITE, o!], a better approach just might surface, hm?

  5. Mazi Nwonwu (@Fredrick-chiagozie-Nwonwu)

    Loved it, not as controversial as many would say. loved the descriptive strength. I agree with Jaywriter about the not so convincing use of the women to show gayness, perhaps your unfamiliarity with the male anatomy made caused this. However, this is a well told story.

  6. This is a nice attempt at gay literature, @Estrella. I felt that your narration was a bit cagey, so tight-knitted.

    Jesu Christi, I no look well o! The story continues. Chei! I don start to read am with a penchant of looking for something new and strange, and how it is handled.

    :)

  7. “Her moans died in her throat when she grabbed my crotch and felt the lifelessness that dwelt there. I hung as placidly as dead chicken on display in the meat market.” That’s one great description.

    You are wonderful with your narrative. Nice work

  8. when you are a thief, you always find a reason….!!!

    1. abi o @Xikay, next thing you know, armed robbers and child molesters will start to say it’s a certain gene in their anatomy that is responsible.

      I think it’s all a matter of choice, and everyone is free to make his or her own; but there is however a superior perspective that should not be imposed on anyone, but rather, helped to understand.

  9. Nice narrative. I actually read it…yesterday…but couldn’t log in to comment. It surprised me myself that I did read it…and to the finish too, lol, but thanks for the description of the Aunty. Hmm, I gained something. Well, jokes aside, I don’t personally find this as controversial, the story that is, the issue of being gay is controversial yes, but I loved how you presented Frank as an emotional being…and that’s that! One thing I would disagree with though is what @Jaywriter said about “using a 40 year old aunt and a virgin girl to know how ‘gay’ he is” But since this is Fiction, it might pass, I guess. But in reality, no matter how gay, a Male will still have an erection at any object that could cause sexual desire. I may be wrong though, but that’s what I would expect. I don’t know, but I find it unbelievable that he would have a flaccid member with all that going on, even though he’s gay. I don’t know any different but maybe you did do research on that, and your clarity will be very appreciated. Well done, again.

    1. @Ayokunle Falomo – Anxiety never do you something before. I’m still laughing oh.

      1. Ahaha, wait, anxiety can cause a flaccid penis? Ahaha (I’m trying to control my laughter…in library, lol)

      2. @Jaywriter, e don do U? hehehehe This one wey U dey talk like dis, hmm…

        1. Ahaha, abi o, make we ask him!

        2. Una wan hear me talk, shay?

      3. Ayo (@boringblogger)

        It was the late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya who once gave a scenario when some boys said they couldn’t control themselves whenever a girl gets naked in front of them. She asked what would the guys do if a girl gets stark naked, ready for the thing and the guy too ready and all and then the girl drops a bomb, ‘I am HIV positive, do you still want to continue?’…

        So no be only anxiety dey make Mr Jack Daniels flaccid o…even such ‘breaking news’ could make him flaccid…

        Meanwhile..someone please rate all these comments PG18 abeg…lol

        1. this was one very agreeable comment. alcohol, worries, shock and fright among other things could make one flaccid. no be just gayness..

  10. Nice handle on a sensitive issue @estrella. Fred said U need more knowledge of the male anatomy. Well na U sabi as U go take get that knowledge. hehehehehehe….Good stuff.

  11. Ayo (@boringblogger)

    Nice story and well told.
    To add to the ‘gay’ controversy, though I am no doc but from my small biology, I know that both males and females are born with hormones of the opposite gender so males have little amount of the female hormones and vice versa. However, some individuals have what they call excess of these opposite sex hormones which makes them have the behavioural tendencies of the opposite sex. So you will see some guys behaving like girls and same with girls behaving like guys.
    Now whether this is the cause of some being gay is what I do not know but may I add that even if it is, there is nothing therapy can’t change if the person actually wants change.

    1. I think you’re talking about those who are transgendered bro….and that’s another topic by itself. Being gay doesn’t necessarily mean one assume the role of the opposite gender. Being confused about one’s gender is one thing, being gay is another. Having excessive hormones of the opposite sex doesn’t equate being gay…it’s totally different…and not all gays behave like girls by the way…it’s a stereotype.

  12. Personally, I found the subject matter of the story than the story itself (if that makes sense). I applaud the fact that you tackled such an issue, especially considering how homophobic our society is. The description of how he realised he is gay wasn’t so convincing for me, though. Like someone else said, using the aunty doesn’t prove much since only a very sick guy will still want to “do” when the person in question is his mother’s sister. Plus, that opens up the opportunity for that whole “they are gay because they were molested” argument- which is nonsense. You are a master narrator, though. Your description of the aunty and they guy’s feelings were beyond spot on. You wove your words together incredibly well, and that made this a joy to read. I look forward to reading the next instalment of this story.

    About the issue of being born gay… It’s pretty simple. The exact way straight people realise they are attracted to the opposite sex- those first pre-pubescent crushes on the boy next door, the full on hormonal rage that happens in teenage years, etc- is exactly how gay people feel BUT ABOUT THE SAME SEX. The same way it is ridiculous to ask someone how they know they are straight, it makes little sense to ask how one knows they are gay. It’s not the kind of thing you miraculously discover. You just know who you like.

    And for the empiricists among you, research conducted using the brains of confirmed homosexuals has shown that the gay brain is different from the “straight” brain, so it’s not just a choice. It’s biological. http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1815538,00.html
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7456588.stm
    Time magazine and the BBC are pretty respected institutions of journalism so you can’t say they were just talking nonsense.

    1. I meant to say “Personally, I foudn the subject matter of the story more compelling than the story itself”. Manic typing… lol. :)

      1. Someone did their research, ahaha. I applaud people like you. Not that I necessarily support the argument you made, but I’m glad you didn’t make a pointless one :)So, it shows that you know what you’re talking about, lol.

    2. Miss Funmi F, I believe you’re the only person here who really knows what you’re talking about, Estrella included.

  13. I must confess,am a gay phobia,but this story got me thinking.Kudos!!

  14. regardless of the controversy of the subject matter, this was a fine story. Well done Estrella.

  15. I will love to see a second part of the story. I want to know more about Tunde.

  16. @Right! I knew this story would spark off some serious debate and i was quite reluctant to write it at first but an argument with a friend as to whether people are born gay or not brought this story on.
    As to the use of the aunt and the virgin,i admit i may have some stereotypes of gay people at work which may have influenced those characters but I’ve also had some gay pple tell me they are far from moved when presented with the naked female anatomy so…
    @xikay…my story does not represent my own personal view
    @4ran6…wow! thanks dude…
    @Jefsaraurmax…I’m glad you liked it..hope i don’t let you all down with the next part!
    @ella…research or science as far as I’m concerned exists basically to disprove the existence of God and all that he says…they tell us stuff and we take it…like scopeman said,molesters will soon be justified with scientific research!
    @fred & raymond…you’re quite right you know..I’ll upgrade on that as soon as i discover my own anatomy!lol!

    @ALL…thanks for reading guys..I’ll put the next part up soon…

    1. ACTUALLY, research or science doesn’t exist basically to disprove the existence of God and all that he says. I’m an aspiring Scientist/Researcher, so I would know. The main purpose of Science is to find the truth (no matter what that is)…and no one says we have to believe everything science has to offer either…we are fallible, and are subject to errors. Basically, because it is Time or BBC that reported something as @Funmi pointed out doesn’t mean that it can be trusted.

      And NB: Science and Religion do not contrast each other. Ask any respectable Scientist or Religion Professor, and they would agree with me. Scientists have actually been able to confirm some of the things that the Bible talked about…Just so you know. I’m a Christian, and also a Scientist…One does no harm to the other. In fact they are compatible than most people think. Just thought I’d clarify that….

  17. @estrella, of course i know that, i’ve written from different POVs so i do know that…story is nice but as for being born gay, that guy may just be impotent lol…maybe if you add another part to the story, we’ll decide

  18. @Xikay..another part coming up!

    1. The wait is already on…

  19. Just getting to read this…Nice stuff. I’ll save my comment till I read the concluding part. Best I’ve read since today….

  20. I will say you really got into the mind of a young boy especially with how you described the aunt and the act. It is an excellent article, well written and vividly descriptive.
    However, one found part didn’t just go down well with me.
    The aunt coming on to a much younger boy was quite disturbing and extremely unlikely. I get it, there was a relationship between the boy and the lady (from the boy’s perspective) you aimed articulating. I think to do that, any of these option would sound plausible (at least to me):

    If you had wanted to describe almost having sex with an older woman, then maybe a house-help/nanny around that age would suffice.

    If it was the incestuous aspect of the relationship you were trying to zero in on, then maybe a well known randy cousin.

    But an aunt; extremely one off. I think many readers would share my opinion.

    1. If my grandfather were alive, that near sex scene would have caused an erection… No be only young boy o, lolz!!!

    2. I don’t agree Mr. C. These things happen. They happen A lot.

      More than several young men have lost their innocence to some randy member of their household…e dey happen!

  21. @4ran6…you won’t have to wait for long…lol!
    @lancaster..best read? really! Awwww….thanks dude!
    @Mr C…i beg to differ;quite disturbing,yes…as disturbing as a seventy five year old man raping a two year old girl…extremely unlikely? no…far from it…I’m sure a few people here would agree with me on this.Most of my male friends have given me their experiences of being molested by an aunt or a distant female relation way older than them.It’s almost the same thing for the ladies who have been molested.but then again,each person’s experience varies and to each writer his own…

    1. I never ever doubt u, lolz

  22. Estrella, I loved how well-written this was – the flowing narrative, and the vivid description. Well done.

    The only nitpick is that I think that someone who is gay would discover it from his attraction to a man rather than his ‘indifference’ to a woman. After all, there are people who are interested neither in men nor in women.

    Looking forward to part 2.

  23. @Tola…Merci Tola..thanks for reading in the first place…personally,i believe that gay people discover their gayness in different ways.whether it is a strong desire for intimacy with a fellow male or studied indifference to all things female…each person’s experience and discovery varies…

  24. Miss Estrella, now it’s my turn to comment.

    Writing-wise, this piece is good. Some parts are excellent, some parts are so-so, but all in all, this is good. I’d score you at least 7 over 10.
    But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Its the gay issue itself I want to talk about. Personally, I don’t think anyone who ISN’T gay should ever write gay literature. It’s one of those things in life I don’t think you can understand except you yourself are affected. So the entire description of the boy and his aunt and his girlfriend all felt quite ‘faux’, fake. Please I’m just saying how I saw it, don’t take offense.
    As other people have said, especially FunmiF and Tola Odejayi, it really doesnt take a woman to make a guy realize he’s gay. It’s other men.
    I haven’t met any gay person. And personally, I may be biased against gay people (cos I believe it’s a wrong sexual orientation, no matter what the cause), but I have observed several gay characters in American TV shows and films e.g. Ugly Betty, Brokeback Mountain, Desperate Housewives, Spartacus, Brothers and Sisters, Queer as Folk etc. The point I’m trying to make here is I don’t think aspiring writers or ANY writer for that matter should write about homosexual characters without having had some tangible physical experience with the issue.
    It is just too touchy a subject to trivialise. And so many people have all kinds of false notions about what it means to be gay as we can see from so many comments on your story.
    Anyway, I applaud you. If nothing else, you’ve generated a BIG HUGE discussion. And that’s always the way to enlightenment..

  25. Xikay, I have always found it difficult to believe that any gay was not born so.

    Estrella, I agreed with 4rand6.

  26. Agree* (in place of agreed).

    Gboyega, I do not totally agree with you, beg your pardon.

    Quoting
    “Personally, I don’t think anyone who ISN’T gay should ever write gay literature. It’s one of those things in life I don’t think you can understand except you yourself are affected. So the entire description of the boy and his aunt and his girlfriend all felt quite ‘faux’, fake. Please I’m just saying how I saw it, don’t take offense.”

    In this context, ALL writers should write only their respective autobiographies. Homosexualism is a part of life, and Literature digs into all aspects of Life. (Note also that Literature doesn’t choose its writer.) Who understands that time slows down as a photon approaches the speed of light? Who understands God, or His existence? Anyone could speak or write about anything IN HIS OWN OPINION– and that exactly is what this lady had done– and that exactly is what you have done.

    *Nothing above has been taken personal, we’re only posting critiques in our own humble perspectives*

  27. Well written but wud have to agree with @ayokunle falomo on his last comment.

  28. @Gboyega…I think that the ability of a writer to write about what he has never experienced in such a way that it moves the reader is what defines his success.I have written about experiences i had never gone through.The sensitivity of the gay experience may be a bit harder than others but the fact of the matter is that it is part of our society and as writers,carving a story out of what goes on around us is inevitable.I don’t claim to know what it feels like…
    @adewale…thanks for that..couldn’t have said it better myself…

  29. ESTRELLA, YOU DESERVE A BIG KISS AND HUG FOR THIS PIECE. THIS IS WHAT I ADVOCATE NAIJA WRITERS BEGIN DOING: MOVE OUT OF COMFORT ZONES, TAKE UP BOMBBLASTING SUBJECTS AND WEAVE TALES AROUND THEM WITH THE SKILL OF A FIRST RATE BALLET DANCER. NO COMMENTS FOR THE PRO OR ANTI GAY CAMP TILL I SEE THE REST OF THE TALE. AND IF YOU FAIL US… YOU KNOW I AM A BIRO WIELDING VAN DAMM…YOUR KARATE SKILLS WILL NOT SAVE YOU SO GET US THE SEQUEL. WANNA KNOW HOW FRANK TRAVELLED DOWN THE HOMOSEXUAL ROAD.

  30. Very vivid narration, i liked that. And i agree with Mr.C an aunt isn’t so appropriate for that role, stories i have heard are usually cousins or house helps never aunties, then again anything can happen.

  31. Me, i don’t want to be caught in the arguement theatrics, I want to comment on the story itself.

    Damn, you are good Estrella, and i am saying this with every sincerity. Your narration flowed seanlessly, and your descriptions were spot on. I especially liked this part ‘It wasn’t that she had an ugly body, far from it; for a forty year old she had the body of a goddess. Her skin was a beautiful golden brown hue and was dewy with sweat as she stood in the sliver of sunlight that sliced through the partition of the closed bedroom curtains.

    Her breasts were the first I had ever seen since my mothers’ and they stared at me, two unripe paw paws, areoles like a solar system surrounded by a colorful explosion of planets. They were thrusting forward like angry warriors spoiling for a fight and her legs…her legs were long, and lithe. She had splayed them apart and with her hands on her hips, had stood there like a super model waiting for a thunderous applause.’

    Only issue I have is with the xter of the aunt, but so much has been said on that already.

    I wait earnestly for the next part.

    Well done!!!

    1. @Lawal Opeyemi Isaac, ppl only say this much when they’re impressed, REALLY impressed. She’s just too gbaski!!! I’m with u on this…

      1. @ 4ran6: Dude, the young lady really blew me away with this one, Allah!

        1. @ Lawal Opeyemi Isaac: I see am for ur comment. When I read her piece d first time, I sat back in my chair and went crazy! She’s exceptional…

  32. @ 4ran6: The lady id good wahlahi! Just take time to read her other works e.g. Bloodied hands.You go dey further convinced.

    1. @ Lawal Opeyemi Isaac, I go go read am now… It only means I’d go gaga a bit more than I went last time. Make I lock my office first b4 ppl come see mad 4ran6!

  33. Chioma (@nutritionalert)

    what happened with Tunde?

  34. Well, Estrelle…what takes the cake here is your narrative. And of course…the very controversial topic which you choose to illustrate so illustriously…

    You do well.

  35. I’m hoping there is or will be a sequel… I’d like to know if the protagonist accepted wholly his ‘identity’

    Good narrative by the way, well done.

  36. O-Money (@Omoniyi-Adeshola)

    It seems like NS has had some brilliant alumni pass through its portals. I do not understand why all these peepz disappeared or where they migrated to. I want to learn from the stories of master wordcraft people like @estrella. They make many of us filling the vaccum right now, look downright mediocre. I’m just annoyed i wasn’t on here from its beginnings. Gawddd….

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