Thanks @poshdr, your head dey dia. I guess the mopol na born-again, e no dey violent, by nature.lol. Thanks for reading bro.

@hymar…

@Poshdr, thanks for reading. I’m delighted you found this worthy of your points. Thanks again, God bless you.

banky

You still gonna write a sequel abi? Since your title will come back out clearly there…

I do not know of a perfect writer/piece of writing. We all strive to get better. So, yes, there’s room for improvement. Well done.

Oh, really? Didnt know ‘Christian’ fiction had such rules. I’ve never been a rules person though, just trying to see how the story could be better.
Wel done.

@hyman…told you. I’m glad you like it.

long lost twin? Who knows? My dad used to be a top striker. Lol.

Flying visit?! Does that have a coloration to it? If it does, nah! LOL. Just passing by ni jare.

PS: You won’t be disappointed. Trust me.

Good.

“He had became a soldier.”?

Banky

There’s no fucking need for a second part -pardon my dutch.

Brilliant bro. This is it. You remind me of someone. If you don’t mind: http://www.naijastories.com/2011/01/the-writers-cinema/

Good one bro.

And the title too; can it be unexpected? Say ‘An Aluta within’? Aluta is struggle, so?

Very Mount-Zionish: preachy and blatantly christian. Brilliant writing too. But…

1. Can you possibly tell this story without it being preachy?
2. Can this be a christian story with a very ‘worldly’ feel? […]

Good one @hymar, @TolaO; if the writer would take note of your fine, technical points, this story would ‘shine on’ like Star. LOL.

And the title is, well, off. Abi?

Again, good plot; the writing can be better.

Watch your punctuation bro.

Banky

I think you should have started with the rape NOT being called out for the rape. Let the reader think it was a normal, consensual kinda sex then throw us off with the robbery/rape at the end. That would be […]

Ghen ghen ghen! @sibbylwhyte

Ghen ghen! @sibbylwhyte.

Bros,

Genius ke? Don’t start jo. But i’ll definitely take it up. I love challenges and yes, you’d definitely read it.

We dey bro…

Bros! You know my thoughts on this already…

Really cool. A friend heard about this and threw me a challenge. Will I take it? No? Maybe. We shall see. Hehehehehe

hehehehehehe…Coming up, soon! lol!