I’d seen many beautiful girls before but I’d never seen any as beautiful and as ukwulicious as this girl. She was a yellow pawpaw. The type of yellow that no bleaching cream could give. She was so graceful in her movement. Her ukwu moving up and down, left and right like the hips of a … Continue reading Biafra 2020
Believe it or not, Nigerians are not buying ebooks… Because I’m not William Shakespeare? No! Because I’m not Chimamanda Adichie or Nnedi Okoroafor or Onyeka Nwelue or Kiru Taye or Helon Habila or Myne Whitman? No, no, no, no, no and no! Let me tell you the reason: Nigerians are not buying ebooks because of … Continue reading Nigerians Are Not Buying Ebooks Because…
“Baby,” she said, caressing my sweaty chest. “Mmmm…” I mumbled, hoping she’d forget whatever she wanted to tell me. This was no time for pillow talk. I’d just spent one hour kissing her, another one hour licking her clean-shaved south-south region plus maybe fifteen minutes doing the main oil exploration. Over two hours of kwokirikwo! … Continue reading Baby I Can Die For You
The first time I made this statement in public was at Ukamaka Olisakwe’s first book reading in Yaba Lagos Nigeria. You should’ve seen how all eyes were on me like I was some Tupac singing “All Eyes on Me” He he he… The host confessed that he’d never heard such a thing before. Ukamaka professed … Continue reading I Am A Male-feminist!!!
Dana had almost died in Nigeria. But she eventually grew up in the Republic of Oduduwa after Nigeria itself died. Her spirit of adventure & philanthropy took her to the Republics of Biafra, Arewa, Middle-Belt & Niger-Delta in no particular order. Never by air though. By road, by ultramodern railways, by water but never by … Continue reading Destinations
WORN NIGERIA 1914 to 2014 A hundred years of blood A hundred bloods of war A hundred wars of God A hundred gods of man How I wish We were never mothered by English We are Igbo We are Yoruba We are Hausa We are Ijaw, Itsekiri and Urhobo How we wish I was never … Continue reading Worn Nigeria
Many have heard about this match. Some think it’s an urban legend. Some think it’s only a joke. But only few know the truth. A long time ago, few months after the end of the Nigeria-Biafra war, the Military Governor of Lagos decided to stage an exhibition match at the then glorious National Stadium Lagos. … Continue reading ‘Book Excerpt: The Legend of INDIA VS NIGERIA
NB – This is not a prophecy, just fiction. All real characters are only used fictionally. _____________ “President Jonathan’s plane crashes while returning from an official visit to the UK.” The news broke out today. Today is the 25th of September 2014. Today is the day CNN, BBC and Aljazeera reported that the president … Continue reading The Last President Of Nigeria
Once upon the future, Mbe Mmiri, whom the English call Sea Turtle, searched east and west, up and down for another Mbe Mmiri but could not find any. Her children had just been captured and killed by some desperate fishermen. While her 180year old husband had died of a heart-attack as soon as he heard … Continue reading Modern Mbe
Meanwhile, at that very hour, the Islamic Republic of Arewa was boiling. “Wooohuuu… Wooohuu…” screamed thousands of Almajiri youths as they swarmed the streets of Borno, Bauchi, Zamfara, Sokoto, Niger, Yobe and a few other states. Many danced as they marched around mosques throwing bangers. Kpa, kpa, gbooom… broke the silence of the night as … Continue reading Know Victor, Know Vanquished 2
I have often asked myself the same question in another form: Why are Africans in general and Nigerians in particular afraid of science fiction? I must begin by categorically stating that I’m neither a scientist nor a science student for that matter. Oh, I confess I’ve always been fascinated with ants, earthworms and documentaries on … Continue reading Are Africans Afraid Of The Future?
“Failure to progress! Failure to progress!” DIBIA3.6 announced to its patient. “Mmm…” Nneoma kept pushing, pretending not hear the humaniod doctor’s singsong voice. “Biko kwusi i puushu!” Please stop pushing! DIBIA3.6 pleaded in Igbo. “Mmm…” “Please madam, you need an oxytocin now!” She glared at DIBIA3.6, “Mmm…” still pushing. “Madam, biko kwusi ipu…” Madam, please … Continue reading Echezona
So much strength So much promise Now it’s all yesterday. Look into his eyes & see the fire Tune into his heart & feel the softness Challenge his physique & taste the rage Listen to his soul & hear gentleness. He was a grain of sand on the shore. He strained till, transformed, he was … Continue reading Adieu
THE NIGERIAN OPAL Our Lords were White But our fathers were bright. Our land is green But our children are lean. Those rivers are full But these throats are fooled. Thus, no rainbow across our skies. All we see is red, Blacks And more gold and silver dyes. NNOO!!! [Welcome] to 2020! “Fifty years” after … Continue reading Three-dimensional