My Diary (2)

 Posted by       292 views  Editor's Picks, Narrative Non-Fiction
Aug 072010

2nd August,2010

Well,today was like every other day,I was myself as usual,duh.Everybody loved my bum short n my flat bronze colour sandals,though they wouldn’t say so.Hatred mixed wit great admiration.I felt on top of d world,who wouldn’t,after presentin a very beautiful poem for my Godfather in the presence of timbers and logs,including the deputy governor of my state on 1st aug,?Needless to say,I’m famous n I’m richer,hoo hoo!
Had neuroendocrinology exams today.Menhh,that exams was whack!,wish I carried brain support but I’m too scared of being caught,it’s not about filling the malpractice form but the shame that’ll come when people will say,see this gurl that stays on a high horse comin down to use chips in exams.Mtcheww
Can u imagine Dr.Ita, useless doctor,he ceased my phone.Hiahh.He didn’t know who he was kidding with,he’s so lusting after me,everyone in class thinks I’ve made it out with,God forbid.
He’s so scraggy and so unkempt I can’t even touch his table.
He told me I shouldn’t be with my phone in the exams hall,for christ sake,I was listenin to a song,Ok,I was trying to learn Not Afraid,one of my chics dared me to learn it and rap it for her and I stopped the song when I got my question paper but the man with his usual 24 hrs erection came and dragged my phone from me,he even had the nerves to touch my property.Nobody dares that.
I let him be until after the exams,went to his office and he told me to sit on his worn out seat,I refused,then he started lectures on how ”seducing” (not indecent) my dress was.
Give me my phone,he refused,I wasn’t going to beg him ‘coz I knew what he wanted.
So I quickly call my ”mus-koolar” friend Jeremy with my private line.
”Hi babes” Jeremy answered ”I’ve missed ur sultry voice”
”Humphh Emy,I’ve got a lil probs”
”some one got my phone and has refused to return it to me” I fumed
I smiled,just the rxn I expected
”a lecturer”I hissed”where are You?”he asked”school now”
”Coming right there”
”come to the lab,Donald’s lab,upstairs”
The line went dead.

”so u called ur BF to come and beat me,sheh,Ok,let him come,I’ll show both of you pepper”
”we’ll see who eats pepper when he comes” I answered
Few minutes passes.A knock on the door.
Jeremy can’t get here so quickly, I thought to myself. The door opens and Jeremy walks in.I act like I don’t know him plus he was so officially dressed.
”Good evening”he calls out smilin
Erection man answers and beckons on him to come in n have a seat n how may I help u?
”Emm,are u Mr Ita?”
”yes,I’m Dr Sunday O. Ita and who are U?”
”Good”Jeremy answers ”young gurl” he turns to me ”could u step outside for a minute?”
I obey wondering what he’s up to.I could still hear their discussions from outside,sha.
”Ahem,u have a query to answer”
”a what?for what?” Ita questioned
”It’s has come to our notice that u molest female students”
I cupped my hand over my mouth,how did he know?
”That can’t be true,that is a blatant lie” Ita shouted ”look,ehnn what ever is ur name,I’m a married man with children,I love,fear and respect God,I don’t indulge in extra marital affairs besides I’m HAPPILY married,so? I dare to challenge you for proof of this allegation else I’m taking u to the H.O.D.”
”I have sth to show you”Jeremy quietly answered.
I dunno what that was but the next thing I heard was erection begging.
”Jesus,Je—sus,oh my God oh,I’m finished,nooo,pls pls my brother,pls,I’ll give u anythin u want,don’t do this to me,pls”
I’m sure his stuff must have gone flaccid,okay now!!!
”can we go to the H.O.D. now?” I heard Jeremy ask”and I’ve got 15 copies of these”
”Ohh Jesus,I’m finished,Ok,how much do u want,I’ll give you N200,000”
”I don’t want ur money just fill the form”
”Ok,N500,000 pls now,pls”
”I said fill the form” Jeremy shouted.
What form,I wondered,what’s he up to,serzly I didn’t expect this to happen oh.
”Okay 700,000 pls,I don’t want to lose my job n my wife,pls I love her so much”
”huh huh, n you are doin this,just shut up and sign the form or I’m callin the Dean”
”Okay,my brother,anythin amount u want,Ok,let me make it 1 million pls, my son,help ur father,pls.
I giggle at him callin Emy his son.
”Sign the cheque” Jeremy replied curtly
What???Jeremy can’t be doing that.
”Okay” erection begged
Drawers opening n shuttin.Few minutes of silence.
”You see that gurl outside?”Jeremy asked ”if she fails any of ur course,u’re as good as dead”.
”which girl,pls”
”No problem,no problem at all” he answered.
”now return her phone”
”what” ” I said return her phone”
”Gretel”he called ”what”I answered feeling like king kong
”come and get ur phone”
I roll my hips in,tap my long blue nails on his table,stick out my tongue at him,pick my phone,gave Emy a peck on his cheek and swing my hips out.
Another erection.
Mus-kools comes out later with the cheque and I’m having a field day.
3rd August .
Emy gave me the cheque and more pics to take to him.I couldn’t believe my eyes,one hot chic in my class,giving erection a serious BJ,his stuff had completely disappeared inside her mouth,holy Mary,how did Emy get this pix?
By the way,Emy is my small bad uncle.I get to Ita’s office with my short gown,it was a deliberate attempt to make hi drool and drool he did,I gave him his gift and made to leave.The bastard ran after me and begged 4 a kiss,serzly,I threw up,wat else would I do?how can I,Gretel,oh oh oh, kiss a swine?

Related posts:

  1. MY DIARY (3)
  2. MY DIARY.
  3. The diary of a Naija boy in the Diaspora

gretel @gretel

Avatar of gretelI don't judge,I don't condemn,I hate nosy pokers,I love children,I love sharwarma,I love club sandwich,I love sfc,I cry a lot,I love my God-dad,I love God,I'm excessively self-confident.I'm Gretel.

Go to gretel's profile, and read more of his/her posts.

  45 Responses to “My Diary (2)”

Comments (45)
  1. @ Lawal,LM@O### at checking back post,
    Thanks jare,I’ll try to do as you’ve spoken,duh.

  2. you’re diary is amazing, this girl and her adventures.

  3. thanks Yinka,glad you like.

  4. why are laughing now?”ok going to catch up wit ya.

  5. I almost died laughing when I read the line ‘Next thing I hear erection begging’ ha! You named the dude?! Nice!

  6. i didnt notice when this was published
    but when i saw diary 3, i had to search 4 dis
    and i must confess

  7. Hilarious and interesting… but then you must be kidding me about this being non-fiction!

  8. tanx dear Tee,it ain’t fiction,it’s real,that’s my life.

  9. This is funny as hell. Nigeria is funnnn Mehn.

  10. I can only laugh…A bit fast but then, it’s a diary. Quite funny. I guess Ur life in school must be so much fun if this is how it goes…

  11. Thank you so much wealth,yea Nigeria is so funny.
    Thanks Raymond yea my life is so much fun all day

  12. …This is so wonderful, with humour and suspense. Gretel is so good a writer.


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