Marriage indeed completed a woman, she’d become a respected member of the society, someone’s wife. It was a norm, no matter how successful a woman was it is believed that she’s incomplete without a man. Some women were greatly driven by this that they would rather stay in an abusive or meaningless relationship than be single and incomplete.
Aida’s mother was one of such women, from a foreign country she endured a terrible relationship in which the was verbally, physically, emotionally and mentally assaulted, which eventually led to her end.
Aida grew up with the knowledge that men were superior to women, that they always have to bow down and be submissive.
With that sad knowledge Aida entered her relationship with Gbenga, she agreed to everything he said for the fear that he would leave her and she would become incomplete. He did not abuse her directly but instead took advantage of her insecurity and made her loose her self worth, he’d always tell her that women were like flowers who would wilt without men, that was why the word man itself was in woman.
He manipulated her to serve where he lived and to move in with him,in school he made her terminate pregnancies at his will.
When she got pregnant the fourth time she thought enough was enough so she didn’t tell Gbenga with the hope that at an advanced stage he’d have no choice but to start a family but when he found out and asked her to terminate it she wasn’t surprised. Later when he calmed down and said they could start family then she was very surprised.
She remembered when she was in pain and Gbenga just sat looking at her holding a glass of juice, that day she saw a monster instead of a man as he put a sticky tape over mouth to shut her out.
She had woken up in a strange hospital, she waited and waited for Gbenga but he never showed, her depression set in when the nice female doctor told her that her chances of ever conceiving again was next to nil she was devastated.
‘Is it impossible? She’d asked.
‘No but the chance is one in a million, your uterus was badly ruptured.’ The doctor told her.
When she was discharged she met her belongings with a neighbor, her life turned inside out, she was Left destitute it was the doctor that saved her and helped her put her life back together. When she had no where to go, she went back to the hospital.
She remembered their conversations. ‘Any man who loves you should love you for who you are,
A woman should be self sufficient and not rely on a man at any cost, relationships should not be a do or die affair.
Women are not slaves but counterparts.’
She said many things that uplifted Aida’s spirit, it helped pull her out of her misery.
She started her life afresh, she was doing well though she lost contact with the doctor she still considered her to be her saviour. Years later she met Effe, he had won her heart by his feminine ideas, he could be termed a feminist with his over zealous ideas about female empowerment, slowly she learnt to love again and everything went great,even once when Effe sounded like Gbenga she pushed it aside, all men are not like Gbenga.
Her sand castle fell apart when she set eyes upon Effe’s mother, she was the same lady who told her years ago that her chance of ever having a child was next to nil, one in a million.
She had been very inspirational back then, but being caught between two stools she threw caution to the wind and forgot all that she said back by favouring her son. She did not blame her.
She had welcomed her with a face of steel and since then Effe had neither called nor texted, she did and received no reply.
One month had passed and Effe had not contacted her still. She had cried and her tears were exhausted, and pain on her lower back was dreading, she knew it was that time of the month but the pain was different she assumed it was because she was depressed. She managed and drove her herself to the drug store, after buying sanitary towel she asked for anything to lessen the cramps.
‘But you have not used them.’ The lady said referring to sanitary towel.
‘I know but my lower back is threatening to break this time.’ She said leaning on the counter.
‘Have you actually seen your period? She asked.
The lady brought out several pregnancy test strips instead.
‘You should try these.’
‘No I dont think I need those.’
‘You just have to pee on them.’ She said smilling persuasively packing them together with the sanitary towel.
She stared at the five strips, they all had double lines, she hugged her knees as she cried, she thought of Effe, he probably was leaving her because his mother told him she could not bear children without thinking much she headed to his office. It was past closing hours but his car was still there he was probably waiting for the mad traffic rush to reduce before heading home.
His door was opened slightly, when she got to his cabin, he was gripping something strongly and his eyes were shut his mouth wide open. He face was contorted as he moaned from pleasure, he was definitely getting a blow job done.
When he opened his eyes and saw her staring at him he was shocked, a lady she recognized as his secretary got up from below the table, she was half naked. Aida knew she was only 21.
She let a sigh and left, she had been brooding for over a month for this guy and he was getting a blow job from a 21 year old girl, life she thought was ironical, people obviously had different ways of dealing with grief or they simply got over it sooner.
As she drove home she made a decision in her heart, she would not be a wilted flower, she would not be subservient to a man anymore. she has to dedicate her life to raising her child, if she had a boy she would teach him to respect women and if a girl she would teach her to be strong and not become a doormat for any man. Women may be flowers, but flowers will at the end of the day wilt no matter what and she once read somewhere that Wilted flowers do not cause suffering, it is the unrealistic thought that flowers not wilt that causes suffering.
She realised she’d been searching for happiness in the wrong places and wrong things.
Effe’s love was a lie for lovers have been apart and they didn’t zip down to get sucked out dry by 21 year old girls.