Bleeding Heart

As the undertaker approaches,I fidget
And I wish it was I being carried in that glorified box
As it is lowered into the earth,
I curse the earth for always accepting the good
souls willingly.
Clouds form in my eyes and the shower refuses to
run dry.
At fifty it seemed outlandish
At fifty I never knew I had always been selfish.
In an instant I created a spotlight; ‘I’
Without looking I could feel their gaze on me.
Their stares were arrows piercing at me
Deep piercing stares,leaving holes in my heart.
Uncontrollable thoughts, unfanthomable.
My thought “Let me be Jesus and let her be
Lazarus”.
Oh Maria! “How did we get here?”
Oh Lord! “How am I still here and she is going down
there?”
I thought I knew how to fly the plane.
And then I wondered.How did I turn out to be a bad
pilot?
It was a flight we boarded on the 26th of July 1994
The journey ended today,July 26th 2014.
Did I keep my vows? No.
The period I neglected her I broke it.
Protection I gave her not.
Despicably I watched as they tore her defences
down with their tongues.
They waged a war against your unfertile womb.
Twenty years,I had no idea what you were going
through.
I didn’t realise the farce you were putting up.
A good actress you were and I saw not the
character and role you were creating.
Oh Maria! I was callous about everything.
Oh Maria! How did I turn out to be stupidly non-
challant?
I remembered those nights your pillow was soaked
and you said it was perspiration.
I wondered how?Because with the A.C, there was
enough ventilation.
I remembered those times you were lost in
thoughts.
And you said you were in a trance,because God
was speaking to you, even though you were out of
sorts.
It was not the driver of the bus that ran you over
that killed you.
But it was I,who ended your beautiful life,I did you.
You were alone, with no one.
But I was with her trying to have a son.
Its pointless,I know, because late apologies can’t
revive ur body.
But I hope it revives your soul and pacifies your
spirit.
My thoughts are beginning to be hazy.
My pen is starting to wobble.
Lord give me the strenght to face this.
I am sorry Maria, I hope this message gets to you
in peace.
I am sorry.



7 thoughts on “Bleeding Heart” by Onome prince Tadafe (@thaprince)

  1. @THAPRINCE. This is well written and sad bought tears to my eyes. I can feel the pain and regret in the poem.

    1. I was trying to give her a voice even though she was no more. Thank you for reading.

  2. Rhoiy (@Roy-journals)

    @thaprince this really made me sad. I felt his regret, But at times life doesn’t give us so many second chances. I really felt for Mariah. She must have led a painful life.

    1. Yeah I know. It did the same to me when I was done with it. Just telling folks that we should not take what we have for granted.

  3. This is so genuine almost as if you the writer went through it. We are not promised tomorrow. Good job

    1. We sometimes take for granted what we habje untill it is too late. I just imagined that someone might have gone through such a situation. Thanks.

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