Heads You Lose; Hearts You Win. (Part 3)

Heads vs HeartsShe laughed off his request for her to spend the night and tried to maneuver past him but her attempt was the truly laughable event. He raised up the dangers of her leaving by public transportation so late at night and she countered him by reminding him that he owned several cars and that she was a fantastic driver. Well, he let her know, it turned out that only one of the cars had fuel and he couldn’t let her take it in case he had an emergency…

On and on they went.

He reiterated to her that his suggestion was prompted by nothing other than concern for her safety and she informed him that her stubborn insistence was prompted by concern for her reputation. Finally, conceding defeat, he let her know he was going to have to take out fuel from his generator to transfer to one of his cars for her to take herself home. She sat and waited in his living room and after about ten minutes he returned, letting her know the car was ready.

He didn’t have the faintest odor of petrol on him – but what did she know?

She never thought the transfer of petrol could be done so quickly – but then he’d probably done it so many times prior, that he’d perfected the process.

When they’d strolled round, she’d noticed that the generator house was quite a distance from the main building – but hey, she wasn’t Sherlock Holmes so….

Certainly it couldn’t be that he’d had fuel in all his cars the entire time. That would mean he lied!
He wouldn’t lie just to get her to stay the night. What for?

So after gaining a massive number of points on the ‘Self-deception Scale’, she thanked him and they both walked to the car outside. Just as she was about to get in the driver’s seat he made a sound of mock horror, asking if she she’d found their day together so dreary that she couldn’t even squeeze in a proper goodbye. So she got out and he plastered her to him like stickers on a car bumper – and they called it a hug. Then she tried to pull away but he held on tightly, his face merely inches from hers’– and they called it romantic.

Then he decided to kiss her. And kiss her. And kiss her, until the automatic lock of the car door activated itself. But this time she didn’t attempt interpret what was going on as her thoughts seemed to suddenly freeze…

Plus to be honest, she really didn’t have breath left to call it anything.

Then his lips strayed to the side of her neck, and as though controlled by the same remote, his hands joined in the movement. However, his increase in movement seemed to have the exact opposite effect on her sensory-motor skills. The only things she was sure were moving were her blouse as it progressively inched up over her abdomen guided by his hand, and her chest as the beat of her heart adopted a dramatically quirky rhythm. There was so much tension in her chest, and this she found slightly confusing considering the weightlessness she felt in her stomach.
(It appeared the latter had chosen to so quickly discard the memory of the meal recently packed in it.)

This was it! The moment they had all been waiting for! The complete attention of her physiological system was zeroed in on the very novel, very exciting, very heady feelings the team of his hands and lips were evoking in her. She made a pathetic attempt at protesting and he duly ignored it. What was she doing!? Her brain frantically searched for something to disguise as a logical explanation for her current on-going actions (or inaction) in order to put her at ease and dissuade her from putting an abrupt end to his onslaught.

It was no big deal. They’d been dating for a pretty long time now. This was so much more acceptable than those shameless individuals who would let a complete stranger have sex with them the very same day they met the individual. Plus this wasn’t really sex, it was just common foreplay. There really wasn’t that much harm in letting him do everything but stick his penis in her so it was totally fine. Look at her parents for goodness sake! They’d had her out of wedlock and they were such awesome people — loved Christ more than anyone she knew. There was no way this was a big deal, she just had a problem. A goody-two-shoes, super-uptight, possibly judgmental, I-must-be-perfect complex. And if she didn’t loosen up a bit, she was definitely going to lose this amazing man “God had brought into her life”. She couldn’t let that happen. God would even be angry with her!

So all of a sudden she mentally healed herself from her temporary paralysis and decided to help him out, flinging both arms about his neck and tilting her head back to make access to hers’ easier. He set to work – taking the hint as well as the prerogative of permitting his hands broader coverage of its lower environment…just as its teammate had received in higher regions.

Meanwhile, everyone applauded the brain for an excellent job done. It was going better than they all expected. Over the past months she’d invested a substantial amount of time into polluting her mind – the same mind that had been undergoing stages of renewal by the word of God – and thus , effectively weakened her stance and convictions on major and essential truths. By reason of this, most were hardly worried that some moral reservation would rear its head at this time and mess up all their fun. They were too sure!
However, in the midst of all this ruckus, one person was markedly unimpressed by the antics of the brain and the others and had not ceased in his attempt to alert her to how the lot of them were merely using her to ‘catch trips‘ (fool around). She just didn’t seem to hear Him anymore…

18 thoughts on “Heads You Lose; Hearts You Win. (Part 3)” by Kwiksie (@kwiksie)

  1. Self deception!

    1. I know right!? #smh….
      lol, thanks for reading! :)

  2. Yes self deception as @nalongo noted.
    She’s breaking a barrier she must have spent time building.
    Not judging though we’re all humans.
    Love the narration.

    1. Oh that’s all right @ameenaedrees; we can judge the action without necessarily judging the person.
      So on that count, you and @nalongo couldn’t be more correct! :)

      Thanks for reading! :)

  3. I love this, you’ve got an amazing way with words…well done.

    1. @praize, do i appreciate your praise! #wink lol
      Thank you so much – for reading and for your kind words. :)

  4. Someone once commented that this was like watching a silent movie and they were right, its fascinating visualizing the mind heart and body tussle withought the confusion of conversation amongst the characters. Its such a unique experience. I’m enjoying it so far.

    1. @Ivie9ja i really appreciate the feedback, thank you for reading!

  5. This is really, really good.I love what you’re doing. Please continue.

    1. I intend to, lol. @vickyoziwrites. Thanks plenty for the encouragement and please keep reading!

  6. marenx (@MarenJohnMafuyai)

    Nice story!

    Although you did not ask me to give you advise on editing, be patient to work on sentence level. Make your sentences sound natural by removing unnecessary vocabularies. To achieve this, read Raymond Carver, J.K Rawling, Sembene Ousmane, or Chinua Achebe.

    After reading them, you will discover unuseful paragraphs, sentences and words in your story.

    1. I appreciate the advice @marenjohnmafuyai, i’ll check them out soon enough. Thanks for reading!:)

  7. marenx (@MarenJohnMafuyai)

    Show. Don’t tell!

    Why not changing the whole of this to conversation or showing how he couldn’t convince her to sleep with him, without directly telling the reader what was happening?

    1. @marenjohnmafuyai, thanks but the whole idea was kinda to write a story completely void of actual dialogue and to make it really brief (i left out tons of detail). But then i’m pretty sure it can be better…
      Plus would you mind writing out what you mean by ‘showing’ instead of ‘telling’? Like, you show me what you’re telling me to do. :)

  8. Nice one! Me like it. The ending, though, was sort of abrupt.

    1. Thank you! @edydeyemi, it hasn’t ended oh! Just haven’t been able to connect to the internet in awhile. Will post part 4 today.
      Thanks for reading! :)

  9. marenx (@MarenJohnMafuyai)


    Thanks for soft heart to carry my harsh criticism!

    By showing, I mean, tell the audience directly what the characters are doing as you did after introduction. Your introduction,”…the truly laughable event.” has directly shown the audience what would happen next. This, in fact, distorts your principle of suspense, thus making the story too weak.

    If you can show it like this below, I hope it may flow:

    “He felt he would not let her leave tonight. But if he was to convince her, saying that, now is too dark, it would sound childish in her ears. She might ask what were his Range Rover and Ford for? Should he then say no petrol? Was he taking her as a child? He should think of how he should get what he wanted….”

    Since you are God, make him use a very wise trick, but still she would not spend a night with him. Use CAUSE AND EFFECT effectively.

    1. Oh ok, i get it now. Noted.
      And thanks. :)

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