Walk Away

Walk Away

Leave it all and walk away[1]

I will, vainly, in the wind sway

Not free, not looking on from yesterday:

It’s the pain residing in your heart,

Which was absent at the start

But by my savage hurt grew in it

Must you be freed from.

 

Leave it all and walk away

Take my love and if you may

Take the hatred I oft bestowed:

The care that I hardly showed

Take it too; it’s all I can give.

Then the shame for all I gave

When together, we still stayed

Leave with me, and walk away.

 

Leave it all and walk away –

The shouting you did to have your say,

A slap, a blow for me to have my way,

The scars you stately talked down,

Smiles you put on to mask the frown

That began so early and may never fade

Tears that flowed, clothes that were torn.

And the little ones watching our amorous charade

Of fierce hatred masquerading as love

(that wearying puzzle none can solve)

Take them with you, and walk away.

 

Leave it all and walk away

The years that made you forget being gay

The rigid arms that ripped the world away

Jealous eyes watching with consternation

Biting words that served us for conversation

Malice kept through the coldest of nights

Endless ‘nights’ of no quarter fights

Make it history, and be human again

 

 

[1] A poem on wife-beating written after I wrote a piece on domestic violence with a focus on the Duluth resolution model. This is a repentant wife beater setting his wife free from his own demons.



5 thoughts on “Walk Away” by O-Money (@Omoniyi-Adeshola)

  1. But will she ever be free? He can tell her to go, he can set her free but the damages he’s cost, will those ever go away?

  2. Leave it all and walk away[1]

    I will, vainly, in the wind sway(THIS STATEMENT IS CONTRADICTORY IN A WAY THAT IS HARD TO EXPLAIN.IF YOU CHECK THE MEANING OF VAIN,IT WILL SEEM ODD THAT THE WORD IS PLACED NEXT TO “I WILL”. I WOULD SUGGEST”VAINLY I TRY,IN THE WIND TO SWAY”)

    Not free, not looking on from yesterday:(WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO NOT LOOK ON FROM YESTERDAY?)

    It’s the pain residing in your heart,

    Which was absent at the start(IN STRONG WORDED POETRY,I ALWAYS FEEL THAT OMITTING CERTAIN WORDS MAKES IT INTENSE AND COOL.YOU WILL SEE WHAT I’M SAYING IN A BIT)

    But by my savage hurt grew in it

    Must you be freed from.(I KNOW THAT THE ‘IT’ IS THE HEART AND HONESTLY,I THINK EVERYBODY KNOWS,BUT IT JUST DOESN’T SEEM THAT WAY.IT’LL BE AWESOME IF YOU JUST REMOVE THE ‘IN IT’. HOWEVER,IF YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO ADD SOMETHING ELSE,TRY”BUT BY MY SAVAGE HURT,GREW LIKE A WART”SO THIS WILL BE MY COMPLETE CHANGE OVER FOR THIS SEGMENT.
    “THE PAIN RESIDING IN YOUR HEART
    ABSENT AT THE START
    BUT BY MY SAVAGE HURT,
    GREW LIKE A WART…..”)

    Leave it all and walk away

    Take my love and if you may

    Take the hatred I oft bestowed:(I DON’T THINK HATRED CAN BE BESTOWED)

    The care that I hardly showed

    Take it too; it’s all I can give.

    Then the shame for all I gave

    When together, we still stayed

    Leave with me, and walk away.(SO SOMEHOW,THE WRITER HAS HURT THE OBJECT OF THE POEM AND HAS BEEN GIVING REASONS WHY THE OBJECT SHOULD BE FREE FROM HIM AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE’S SAYING”LEAVE ‘WITH’ ME”.THAT’S VERY CONFUSING.)

    Leave it all and walk away –

    The shouting you did to have your say,

    A slap, a blow for me to have my way,(IT SEEMS LIKE THE OBJECT GAVE THE WRITER A SLAP AND A BLOW FOR HIM TO HAVE HIS SAY.I KNOW THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU MEAN,BUT THAT’S HOW IT SEEMS.SETTLE FOR SOMETHING CLEAR AND CONCISE LIKE
    “THE BLOWS I GAVE JUST TO HAVE MY WAY”)

    The scars you stately talked down,(PLEASE WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO TALK DOWN A SCAR.THAT’S AN HONEST QUESTION)

    Smiles you put on to mask the frown

    That began so early and may never fade(NICE!)

    Tears that flowed, clothes that were torn.(REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT OMITTING WORDS?
    “TEARS THAT FLOWED
    CLOTHES TORN…..”)

    And the little ones watching our amorous charade

    Of fierce hatred masquerading as love*ARE WE TALKING MASOCHISM NOW?,I’M A LITTLE CONFUSED)

    (that wearying puzzle none can solve)(WHY IS THIS IN BRACKET?)

    Take them with you, and walk away.

    Leave it all and walk away

    The years that made you forget being gay(WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS,I WAS LIKE “WHOA,SO IT’S A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP!BUT THEN I WAS LIKE”OH!GAY AS IN CHEERFUL…DON’T JUDGE ME.COULD YOU TRY SOMETHING LESS CONFUSING LIKE
    “THE YEARS THAT MADE YOU FORGET HOW TO SMILE”)

    The rigid arms that ripped the world away(‘RIPPED THE WORLD AWAY’ OR ‘RIPPED YOUR WORLD APART’?)

    Jealous eyes watching with consternation

    Biting words that served us for conversation

    Malice kept through the coldest of nights

    Endless ‘nights’ of no quarter fights(WHAT ARE ‘NO QUARTER FIGHTS?’

    Make it history, and be human again

    [1] A poem on wife-beating written after I wrote a piece on domestic violence with a focus on the Duluth resolution model. This is a repentant wife beater setting his wife free from his own demons. THIS IS THE FIRST POEM THAT I’VE GIVEN A CRITIQUE ON AND THAT’S BECAUSE WHEN I STARTED,I JUST COULDN’T PULL AWAY.THIS IS BRILLIANT AND I MUST COMMEND YOUR CREATIVITY BUT REMEMBER THAT THERE\S ALWAYS ROOM TO MAKE THIS PERFECT:JUST WITH A LITTLE TWEAK HERE AND THERE.GOOD JOB.KEEP WRITING!

    1. Hmm… @anastasia , I guess you were reading poetry as though it was prose. In poetry sometimes one could get away with murder merely for an effect. Poetic licence rocks!

      Okay, I was not in O-money’s mind when he wrote this and I stand to be corrected… But I believe he meant in the first two lines that he actually wishes to walk away, but it is hard for him. So he struggles

      (he tries to move “in vain”, so he sways “vainly” in the wind)
      so it cant actually be “vainly I try, to sway in the wind”

      He doesn’t will it, he doesn’t “will it” vainly. (vain people tend to be weak willed and can’t generally “will” stuff, I guess that’s what you were trying to hint)

      the guy doesn’t want to sway in the wind, he wants to get the hell out of there

      but the winds of feeling won’t let him as he is unable to “look on from yesterday”… (unable to forget whatever nice feelings they shared when the love was still strong)

      For this intent and purpose, I vote that hatred can be bestowed… And I call upon the veto of Poetic licence
      *bends down to dodge broken bottle @anastasia picks up to throw at him* *picks up chair, house of reps style*

      Talked down the scars, I think, means “tried to make excuses for”

      He can use gay freely in poetry. It’s allowed. Anyway I think its for the sake of the rhyme.

      A fight where there’s no quarter… No mercy, no prisoners, no terms offered, dat kind thing.

  3. @OMONIYI-ADESHOLA. I like the message in the poem. No piece of work is 100 percent perfect but I don’t share all the criticism above. Just learn from constructive criticism but don’t take it all to your heart, just keep writing and improving your skills. Well done.
    @Anastasia. Whats wrong with using ‘gay’ at least he is not using it in a sexual context and even if he is I don’t see anything wrong with that.

  4. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL@anakadrian.You can bet your life i picked up that bottle,but then,i thought of jesus and changed my mind.
    Yes i read it like prose and if you hadn’t said it,i wouldn’t have realized that that was how i read it.I guess it’s because i tend to run away from poetry and towards prose.But this poem’s special.
    Hey!remember what i said about learning from you?you just made my day!
    From now on,i’ll just sit back and enjoy the poems and even more,the critiques which,painfully are scarce.Ahem!
    *looking pointedly at you*

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