The question just kept going through my head. I mean, I don’t want Uncle Richard to die, let alone being killed by my father, his brother but I don’t want my sister’s perfect grape-like round head to be served as dinner to Pumba in lion king.
This is some serious family issues. I wish the dude will just tell us what he has against my uncle that he would want him dead. I could see the fear in my dad, the way he was carrying the scalpel with his hands trembling like a person with Parkinson’s syndrome.
As dad was doing his work, he made his way to an artery and purposely cut it. The IV machine gave a big BEEP as the other doctors and nurses where trying to resuscitate him. He was bleeding internally and my dad was too devasted to even try to bring him back to life.
I think the fact that he just killed his brother is getting to him as he just pulled down his nose mask and started crying. The other doctors thought it was because he just lost his brother so they started consoling him in the theatre because it was confirmed that he had no pulse. My dad just murdered his younger brother.
“God forbid” I said aloud as I discarded those evil thoughts from my head. Of course not! My dad cannot kill his brother. This is someone who eats ice cream and watches the wedding planner every time he loses a patient.
Before I knew it, it was already one hour and I heard clapping in the theatre. Apparently, that’s their thing whenever a surgical operation is successful. Now, the next question is what will happen to Joke?
Some minutes later, Uncle Richard was taken into the ward for recovery meanwhile, I was in Dad’s office when he walked in. “son, I couldn’t do it. Imagine someone saying you should kill Joke” he said with a sad face as he sat on his chair.
“Now, I guess we have to involve the police because this whole thing is getting out of hand” he said
“Yeah well, I have an idea. Why don’t you send a voice note and attach it to the email to tell him you have killed him and that you will exchange his death certificate for your daughter. Then we will plant policemen all wearing mufty in strategic places to apprehend the guy immediately the exchange is made” I replied suddenly feeling like one CIA agent.
“Okay, It’s worth a shot though I don’t think he will buy it” dad said as he recorded the message and sent it to his email.
A few minutes later, Dad’s phone rang with the caller’s ID hidden. Dad picked up the phone and put it on loudspeaker; it was the kidnapper that was calling
“Hello, who is this please?”
“It is I; the person who makes the decision on whether to feed your daughter’s kidney to the dogs”
“Oh, please, let me speak to Joke, I beg you”
“Doctor, you hear that sound? That’s the sound of your daughter watching Hannah Montana. I’m not a monster, I’m just a negotiator. So have you done what I asked?”
“Hmmm… yes I have like I said in the voice note”
“Oh true! I got that. Okay, I will give you your daughter but I’m going to need more evidence than a death certificate. You can do a death certificate for 500 naira in Ikeja. Hell, you can swear an affidavit that Oba Elegushi is your father. I’ll rather you plucked one of his eyes and cut his thumb as evidence so we can do a biometric scan to ascertain the death”
Things just got a whole lot more complicated. You think the Kardashians have drama? You need to be here.
“Hmmm… I can’t do that”
“You can’t? If you could openly kill him, this should be a piece of cake for you. except you didn’t kill him. You think I’m a fool. I have eyes and ears in your hospital. Right now he is in ward C resting” he said with anger
“But you know he is my brother, I can’t kill him. I can’t. Why didn’t you just tell anybody else to satisfy your vengeance, why me?” dad replied with sadness and anger
“Oh! But what fun will it be if I send an assassin after him? I thought it will be poetic if his brother whom he is proud of is the one to kill him. That’s what he deserves for snatching my Christie from me”
Oh My God! This just went into another level of intriguing. All this planning because of a girl? Just a girl with coke shaped size. When the kidnapper found out that he had slipped, he immediately hung up the phone. The both of us couldn’t believe our ears. This whole higlidy piglidy was caused by an homo sapien with mammary glands (boobs).
Our dear uptight uncle Richard is a babe snatcher. Wow, nothing can go wrong again in this life. If I hear that a horse rapes a female buffalo, I would be less surprised than getting this interesting revelation.
“Now that we are know what the issue is, I think we need to go confront Richard” dad said as he got all agro.
“I think we should wait for a couple of hours for him to recover fully” I said as I touched his arm and led him to the three seater chair in his office.
After a while, we decided to go see our babe-stealing uncle but as we entered, what I saw didn’t surprise me following the recent achievement added to his resume’. He was staring at the butt of the nurse attending to him as she bent down to pick a syringe. In all fairness to him, it was large. Like 60’ inch flat screen TV with high resolution.
“Oh Big Brother, thanks a lot” uncle Richard said not knowing the panel he’s about to face.
“Yeah, I just did my job” dad answered very empty which is odd because he has the best bed side manner.
“Anything the problem doc?” Uncle Richard said as he managed to struggle to sit up
“Yes! just one. Who is Cherie? Don’t ask me how I know about her, just tell me who she is” dad said with anger all over his face
“She’s my girlfriend that I met a few months back. This is as far as I answer until you tell me what is going on. You have been behaving weird since, even before the surgery” Uncle Richard replied.
This is the first time since the inception of this incident that my mind wandered away from Adejoke and all I could think of was a great sitcom that can be created to this present issue. ‘I want to play my character’ I thought to myself.
Dad explained everything that happened to him and Uncle Richard was silent throughout. I’m sure it was the guilt eating him up inside like cankerworm.
“I’m really sorry Olu, I’m really sorry. I had no idea what I had caused. You should have told me earlier on and I will have resolved the issue” Uncle Richard said with so much sadness and remorse.
“Well, who is the person you allegedly snatched Cherie from; at least, it will take us one step closer into finding the perpetrator” dad said
“His name is Benjamin john, he is a co-worker” he replied
Nurse Titi, the one I woke to after my coma which totally formatted every jasmine memory walked in and said “doctor, a madam Cherie wants to see your brother”
“Hi, what’s up, I love your apron” I said. She just smiled. Four months in a coma clearly results in loss of game. Who says that?
“Let her in” dad replied with eagerness to see the infamous Cherie.
I also couldn’t wait to see the Agbani Darego that’s causing all this wahala. But to my greatest surprise, a woman that looked 10 years older than my dad walked in.
“Good afternoon, I’m Cherie” the Joan Rivers look alike said as she walked into the room.