18+ PLEASE! (Not suitable for anyone below 18)
Dento kept neglecting the advice of his family members who told him to marry a lady from his tribe, he had lived well enough in the city to know that the cultural background of any lady had nothing to do with her integrity which was paramount in marriage. His mother especially, pestered her only son on several occasion, but his stand was unshaken about the matter, the two decades of city life and civilisation has taught him of how the cultural discrimination wounded homes that could have been beautiful.
At thirty five, Dento had become an averagely successful man in Ibadan, working with a company that gave him an official car and secured a three bedroom flat for him around Challenge area. He realized he was not growing younger anymore and needed someone he could share his life with. However, Dento was careful to make sure that the ‘someone’ he would decide to marry would also be someone who would value everything about him, and appreciate his entire being in return. Thus, Dento began his search for his Miss. right in all the immediate surrounding areas.
Being the kind of busy man that he was, it wasn’t an easy search finding a lady who was suitable for his status and who wasn’t already married. Dento therefore concentrated his search to those who were around him; his working place, his house and his church.
Most of the ladies at his work weren’t his taste; most of them were married and those who weren’t married dresses too extravagantly, the cost of which Dento was not in any way ready to finance. Their outfits too, aside being too obviously expensive were usually seductive. Dento would sometimes ask himself, “What difference would life make, if I married any of these my company’s ladies? What is there to see in them anymore, when they have and would always continue to showcase their most precious properties to every dick and harry that cares to stare?” He therefore remained stiff and pretended not to notice the special call-for-attention the ladies displayed whenever he was around.
Dento’s flat in Challenge was a very tall two story building which had seven other flats too in the big well guarded compound. But the beauty was the pain – everyone in the house kept to themselves. It was hard to tell who lives where. Dento had once seen a lady he felt would just do to wife, she was entering the entrance of the flat below his, while he was parking his car in the garage, but when he summoned courage to knock on her door the next day, it was a man that opened, and the man claimed that no lady stayed in that section of the house. With a disappointed frown, Dento ruled out his hope of getting a wife from his compound; as far as research was concerned, those beautiful ladies he sometimes saw walking around the house weren’t residents.
Left with no option, Dento relied on his church members, he became more actively involved in his attendance and general participation, and was soon recognized. While people in church began to notice him, he also began to know them; especially the ladies whom he had deliberately come to know.
Greater Life Church was ordinarily not the kind of church that any man would have chosen to go in search of a wife. They were the most prejudiced religious set around the area, because of the way they dressed, spoke, preach incessantly and their unchanging notion that they belonged to heaven and nothing in the world was theirs. However, Dento found their whole activities interesting, they seemed to be the only fellowship that preached the kind of message Dento wanted his wife-to-be to know; they taught humility, submission, and satisfaction. Although, other churches did so too, in fact if asked Dento knew that the churches of the ladies in his working place also preached similar messages but the fact remained that it was widely not reflecting in the lifestyles of theirs, while it constantly appeared a real message in the humble outfits of Greater Life members. Since the bible had said, by their fruit we shall know them, Dento decided that he was attending just where he would pluck the right fruit.
Since there was no perfect place, most of the ripe ladies in Greater Life, having realised that the dark, tall and handsome man was yet to marry also played their naïve roles in seducing him too; but all they did was still within the limits of what their church pastors preached. Amidst all tough challenge, Dento met and decided to marry Omotola-Badejomi who had been christened Esther.
Esther was almost getting too ripe for marriage too, more because she obviously appeared not to have been giving it a serious thought. It seemed strange to her when Dento faithfully followed the rigorous nuptial procedures of the church and then finally popped the question to her. She was going to meticulously consider the offer, but both the pastors and her family members kept reminding her that she was approaching thirty very fast, and they thus made her jump into conclusion of marrying him.
That was the fate of the couple before they married, and when they married, their first night together became their nightmare. Dento had patiently walked the red carpet into the church, and unwearyingly waited until the “. . .here comes the bride” solo was played on the piano, he was even patient enough while the pastor preached lengthily about how a good home should be.
While the Clergy lectured them, Dento’s mind shifted to a story he read in a very popular story site in Nigeria – the naijastories.com, there he had read a short story titled “A Man’s Thing” where an husband filled with mad impatient libido found out on the wedding night that his wife was a transsexual.
“Gosh!” Dento thought and winced, “God forbid I that fate.” He muttered hopefully. The scenario was unimaginable, and so he took his heart from that immediately. Dento’s libido wasn’t that high anyway, and moreover, the writer of that story had reflected in the conclusion of its third part that it was a dream after all.
A prayer from the preacher brought his mind back to church;
‘Amen’ he said in unison with his wife and everything else went as it should, until they both went to the hotel they had booked for their honeymoon and then. . .
‘Let us pray.’ His wife had instructed as soon as they entered into their room and he collapsed into bed with a jubilant smile. What she said angered him a little, considering the fact that they had prayed and prayed earlier before now.
‘But we prayed in church today. . .countless times.’
‘Yes, I know. But that was more like people praying for us. Now let us pray together as a couple please.’ She insisted, grabbing a scarf from her bag.
Esther was right, they were prayed upon; they had not really prayed together alone. Dento concurred and knelt beside her, shoving off again the thought of the possibility of the story he had read happening to him too.
After the two hours prayers which Dento had thought would last forever, and as thus even dozed off twice to be awoken by his partner, he was exhausted. When they were through, he didn’t feel any revitalization. He only managed to force himself to shower after she had, and he mounted the bed simply to fulfil the norm of weeding nights and also secretly to confirm that his wife was indeed a bride.
‘You are now my bride.’ He said out of restlessness. His eyes were barely strong enough to keep open.
‘Yes, and you are my husband.’ She said in her night gown, the unenthusiastic way she said it made it sound more like an ignoble speech which in fact arose more curiosity in her man.
‘Lets do this.’ He said, as his hands fell on her night gown, parting the unbuttoned centre which she had held together with her left fingers. He lay with his chest to the bed, his body stretched off the bed, halfing his upper limb on the mattress, while his lower limb suspended on air after the bed. He noticed that she still had her brassiere on. He fondled both her body and the cotton material a little, but she didn’t seem to be in the mood.
Dento felt awkward with the way she stared at the ceiling awkwardly rather than his face, he wished he could tell her to look at him, but that would only make him feel more awkward.
He turned his complete self over, and rested his head on her legs where he could stare at her face from beneath her firm jaw. Her legs were held closely together, as if she didn’t know she needed to open them up and allow him savour. He arose restlessly, and bent over to undo her bra. She didn’t bulge, she let him, but she didn’t take her face away from the white pop ceiling.
Fear rushed in Dento’s veins. He was tired – yes, but he was hoping that his wife was not in the same shoes with the lady called Gloria in the story he had read.
“Confirm!” Dento’s tired brain instructed, and he left the brassier he had half unhooked and parted her legs.
At his every move, she didn’t budge, she’d let him, but the stern look on her face kept telling him that something was very wrong, and that disturbed Dento.
‘What is the problem dear?’ Dento asked forcefully, after he had successfully parted her legs.
‘Nothing!’ She said in an abruptly loud voice, and still didn’t retrieve her legs.
The shout almost killed Dento’s mood, especially since he was also tired, but he kept it in his cautiousness to confirm her state and pulled down her underwear as much as he could just to ascertain.
Esther lifted herself off the bed slightly, so that he could get the white shiny pant off her quickly, but kept looking at the ceiling. He fingered her, and confirmed that she had no vagina problem.
Confirming this, Dento felt relieve and safe. This was not the situation in the case of “Bamigboye” in the “A man’s Thing” story. He felt safe at last and helped her draw the white piece back on.
“Maybe she’s just tired then.” He thought and soon arose from her side. He walked the ‘n’ shaped hurdles of the bed and landed with a loud thud in his own position.
Dento soon started snoring. While he left Esther with an half hooked bra, an opened night gown, and legs still half apart. Esther felt useless, even though she had not really been. She felt like a teenage girl who was being molested by a hundred soldiers, but she knew she had made the snoring man feel even worse, especially on the night of his wedding.
But what really is the problem with Esther?. . .
Watch out for the Next Episode of YOU’LL LIKE IT!