Yeah, I passed out, not that I fainted or sort of. I only went off balance and was practically dead for about five minutes. Laid flat on my bed with my head tucked deep into my bed. Many things ran through my head:
“Ope, you will only love and never be loved in your life. Just go and commit suicide. Abi? What are you still doing in a world that is full of cruelty and hatred? You love a girl for more than a year and a half, she still has not said YES? And now, she’s already taken. Hahaha! Ope, just go and die.”
I knew it was the devil’s voice. But, to be candid that was what was left for me to do. If I continued living, I’d probably never fall in love. And that’s not the kind of life I want. I want to LOVE and BE LOVED.
I sat straight on my bed, leaning my back on the wall of my room, I became very weak and I kept gazing round my room as if I was in a strange place. I wished I could just run mad, so that Demilade will get the news of my insanity and change her mind to become mine and if God will catch me, I no go kan well…lolz. As I was about to dash out of my room and head towards the arena where I take my local gin, another voice came:
“Ope, why have you allowed just A GIRL to take away your happiness? You are a very happy person. You have transformed many lives with your nature and sense of humor. If Demilade won’t agree to love you, someone else will. C’mon cheer up and have fun!”
A bright smile formed on my face and as the HAPPY MAN I used to be, I screamed out for joy and had my neighbors wonder what happened to me. I called some friends I could gather that night and told them to come meet me at Iya Chukwudi’s shop for some shots and a plate of ponmo pepper soup. I told them I was celebrating the ‘NO’ I got from a lady I had loved for so long. I told them to drink as many shots as they could. After all, a shot costs just N50. I could afford to spend 5K that night.
That night before we left Iya Chukwudi’s shop all drunk, one of my friends told me that as I have called them all to come celebrate the NO I got from this lady, the same way I would call them to come celebrate the YES this same lady would tell me soon. All my friends shouted a loud AMEN and we all had a laugh over it!!! We were all drunk, so I didn’t take it serious.
Demilade became a thing of the past in my life. I took her out of my life entirely. This was easy for me to do as she too didn’t make a move to call me. Life gradually became cool for me. I ended everything I had with all my ‘Sure babes’. No more girl palava for my life. I loved only MYSELF. I made sure everything I did was to satisfy ME ALONE. If anyone didn’t feel good about my deeds or actions, I simply told them to GO TO HELL for all I care. It was all about ME, MYSELF & I.
3 months down, I looked fresher and fresher day by day. I had no worries. I got to know that Demilade had got a BlackBerry Phone for herself through Desmond who he and his younger brother, Emmanuel thought Demilade and I were still dating. I was still using my java phone, I could only do some little stunts with it online. If I ever had heavy tasks to do online, I did it on my laptop. Demilade ditched 2go and facebook, she was more into BBM and Whatsapp which made her and Desmond became close sort of. That was where Desmond got to know the real thing going on between Demilade and I.
I wasn’t affected a bit by all the things Desmond and Emmanuel said to me when they confronted me and lambasted me for disguising under the fact that I have been dating Demilade. I saw that as their headache cuz Demilade wasn’t even anywhere close to any issue in my life. Her files had been deleted long time ago from my hard disk. So, it was as if Desmond and Emmanuel were undergoing a process of file recovery in my hard disk and of course it proved abortive.
Most of my weekends became soo dry. I began to feel the need for a companion. Each time I tried to think of someone, memories of Demilade flashed back in my head. Will this girl just leave me alone? I said to myself always.
One morning on my way to work, my eyes caught a damsel. I’ve been living on that street for more than a year now and I’ve never come across this lady. She caught my eyes that I almost ran after her, but NO, I couldn’t cuz I was already late for work. She was just too cute for me to resist. She had a very calm face, she was gorgeous and the way she walked was damn captivating. Where the hell has this angel been?, I thought to myself. I had earlier promised myself not to ever have anything to do with any of the ladies living in my street but this one, I’ll have many things to do with her.
I would intentionally pass through the spot I first saw this angel just to see her face again, at least. I started making enquiries about her, then I later found out that she was a cousin to Kemi, one of my friends in my area. I wasted no time in asking Kemi things about her cousin, that one didn’t tell me much. But I got her name as Ifeoluwa. I told Kemi frankly that Ife must not slip away, even if I’d have to DO IT with her just TWICE, it was all ok by me. Yeah, I was only sexually attracted to Ifeoluwa.
Ifeoluwa and I became friends after a meeting arranged by Kemi. I still had the ‘play boy spirit’ in me but not as concentrated as it was before. My plan for Ifeoluwa was to ‘chop her and clean mouth’. Surprisingly, I found myself developing true feelings for Ifeoluwa. Sincerely, I loved the feeling, most especially when it wasn’t for Demilade. I still loved Demilade, though.
I got a new phone and joined the world of Smart Phone users, that was where I got in contact with Demilade again, on Whatsapp. She was even the first to say Hi. I was already in love with Ifeoluwa (she said YES few days after my birthday), so I treated Demilade like a mere friend, I replied her messages normally and I sometimes didn’t even bother myself replying some of her messages. I saw her as that wicked soul who didn’t care about the feelings of a man. She was cruel to have not even considered my emotions at all. I knew there was nothing left for me to get from her side. She had nothing to offer me. Desmond was still disturbing her upon realization that I lied about dating Demilade. Everytime Demilade and I conversed on Whatsapp, she would tell me how Desmond keeps disturbing her and I’d be like:
“Why are you telling me all these? I’m not the best person you should be telling this story. And I didn’t even ask you.”
I didn’t tell her anything about Ifeoluwa and I never bothered myself asking her about her boyfriend. She just discovered I had stopped talking about my unconditional love for her. Little did she know that I had divided it into two….the larger part was now for Ifeoluwa, and the remaining small part was for her. I knew if Demilade said she was ready, I would just let go of Ifeoluwa. But truth be told, I so much loved Ifeoluwa. You know what? I was just more than confused at that point in time. It wasn’t my fault, I loved Demilade first and if I were given the chance to choose, I’d choose Demilade cuz Ifeoluwa’s behaviors and way of life was nothing to write home about.
Ifeoluwa took everything I did for granted. Though I really loved her and I never failed to tell and show it to her. She was not just flowing with me. She never showed that she cared, though she claimed she did. We were more like strangers when we are together in my apartment. She never made me feel loved. But I tolerated every bit of her acts and attitudes and still loved her more.
Just as at the time I was struggling to enjoy my relationship with Ifeoluwa, Demilade’s countenance towards me changed and I perceived something good like a great news coming from her, soon.
…to be continued!
Written by: The Charming Humble Nice Guy
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