Man At The Garage!

Man At The Garage!

Flawless actions from a striding mind. An accurate bearing from a broken compass.
Hopeful thoughts that need a good riddance.

Locked to the water closet.
Farts and burns weed to a red smoke, simultaneously chews his breakfast whilst he defecates.

Boil the yam, break the egg shell and fry a gall bladder for a yolk.
Dream about an honey moon while sleeping on the grave in a dark night.

Wavering feelings about a flamboyant wedding.
The ferrari for the ceremony parked at the garage.
Prepared for the bride after the wedding, an hallucination estate, in the garden of Adams.

12 thoughts on “Man At The Garage!” by Kleavajimcy (@Kleavajimcy)

  1. Thanks for reading and commenting. @innoalifa

    1. @Kleavajimcy, you’re always welcome……………I must commend your choice of words………….but I think that a better structural arrangement will make the poem just perfect…………….

      1. Structural arrangement? Could you please help a lil with that? I’d be glad to see the review of such! Curious to know a lot more… thanks for replying thou’

        1. @Kleavajimcy, thanks for the honour………..your poem is beautiful though………it’s just that the external punctuation may not be necessary……..anyways, read through your poem again below:

          Flawless actions from a striding mind
          An accurate bearing from a broken compass.
          Seeing hopeful thoughts in need of a good riddance

          Oh, locked to the water closet
          Farts and burns are weeding to a red smoke Simultaneously chewing his breakfast whilst defecating

          Breaking the egg shell and frying for only but a yolk
          Dreaming and dreaming about an honeymoon
          while sleeping on the grave in a dark night

          Having wavering feelings
          As the Ferrari relaxes in the garage
          Oh, what an hallucinating estate, in the garden of Adams

  2. Lol! Glad at your effort. @innoalifa
    I just like when my poetry is being reviewed like this, it opens me to more ‘toasts’ I could use. :D

    I ve read through and through your review.
    Thanks and thanks. Got the “oh” and “punctuation” things.

    But the removal of some key facts like “frying a gall bladder instead of the yolk” and “wavering feelings about a flamboyant wedding” makes the poem incomplete, rather, empty to the intended notion.

    Probably your view about the poem is diversified from my own intent though.

    Once again, I really appreciate.

    1. @KLEAVAJIMCY, thanks for affirming my petite chose. I’ll always be happy to help out with “having a second look” at your poems when given the chance. You have a great day…………..

      1. Have a wonderful day too!

        1. Ciao Ciao!!!!

  3. Thanks for passing by @elovepoetry

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