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She Walked Away (Part 2)

And Tunji couldn’t get his mind together because Bolu had threatened to tell Caro that he came late when he gets home.

“Am so sorry I came late” Tunji said.

Still, there was this awkward silence and none of the kids said anything.

Tunji’s heart trembled! He wondered what his excuse was going to be, he had fun once and back to regrets.

They got home as at 7:30pm and Caro was not home, it was unusual.

“Where is my mum?” Toun said with a mild and gentle tone.

“This house feels so empty, I am scared!” she said.

Tunji picked up his phone to call Caro, but he had no airtime.

“Irresponsible me again…” Tunji said to himself

“Okay kids, let us just wait a little moment am sure it is just a hectic traffic, she would be back soon okay?” he said

But unsurprisingly they both walked out on him, and headed for their rooms.

Tunji ran off to go prepare dinner at least he had escaped Caro’s query, although he was a bit worried.

“Things might have gone wrong, but I still love her” he soliloquized

He had finished preparing dinner, so for the first time he decided to do something unusual by carrying their
dinner’s into their rooms.
Although he knew Caro was against it, he was ready to risk it.

When he got to the room the kids were both crying with a letter in Bolu’s hand…

Tunji wondered what they could have read, so he dropped the food by the bed side table, collected the letter and read:

Bolu
I know I have not been a good mother so far as expected, because I haven’t had so much
time to spend with you
I am truly sorry.
But today I have to tell you something I ought to have said a long time ago.
When Toun was three years old, I had to keep you and your sister with your
Uncle, Sam, because the doctor said I had cancer,… cancer of the blood and I was
dying.
I thought things were going to be better, but no it’s not
I got back from the office around 2:15pm feeling a little unusual and I am sure
this is where it all ends.
So I am writing this letter just in case I don’t make it back home, to tell you how much
I am going to miss sneaking into your bedrooms and pecking you, our usual
i would miss our movie nights on Friday and Shopping on Saturday’s. I also want you to
know
that Tunji is your father and he is going to take care of you just as I would have done
As you are reading this letter I am at Havana Hospital and I hope it won’t be too late.
Tell your father “I love him and I am sorry.”

caro

“Are you really my father?” Bolu asked with so much tears and a heart full of sorrow

Filled with tears and short of words, he grabbed both of them and left hurriedly to the nearest bus stop and got a taxi.
They got to the hospital at exactly 11:02 pm

“Doctor Williams!” Tunji shouted on getting to the hospital

Doctor Williams was heading for ward 201 when he turned back to see who was shouting.

“Oh! Mr. Tunji, I have been trying to reach you” he said

“ I am here now, is my wife okay? did you handle it well?” Tunji cried…
“But Tunji you have always known it would end one day. We di-”

Tunji interrupted, “ Doctor what the hell are you trying to tell me?” he said crying out

“Tunji we did everything we could but am sorry to say we lost her”

Tunji dropped to the floor and wailed in agony, grabbing his children, hugging them so tight as they all cried

The doctor urges Tunji and the children up and ushers them to the waiting room.

“Would you like to see your wife before she is taken to the morgue?” the doctor said

“No… that’s fine I just want to take my kids home I would be back tomorrow” he replied.

Tunji thought of where he was going to start from, how was he going to care for his children, how he was going to make them happy? He had no job, to him life was going to be hell.

He slept that night in so much worry after putting his kids to bed, as he cried from the depths of his heart.

The door bell rings the next morning as at 7:00am, Tunji hurries to the door, while the children were still asleep.

He opens the door,

“Can I help you?”

The young lady replied, “are you Mr.Tunji?”

“yes I am” Tunji replied

“I am here to deliver your wife’s will” the lady said

Comments

comments


6 thoughts on “She Walked Away (Part 2)” by Deremi (@Jessy_deremi)

  1. Profile photo of namdi
    namdi (@namdi): Scribe - 18254 pts

    -Tense issue.
    -It seem to be fast-paced. I didn’t feel the emotions -someone just died- this episode ought to have delivered.

  2. Profile photo of Nalongo
    Nalongo (@Nalongo): Scribe - 12194 pts

    Sad.

  3. Profile photo of Afronuts
    Afronuts (@Afronuts): Head Wordsmith - 63426 pts

    Okay, its evident that you did a little more work on this part but I won’t say its enough. The circumstances here are not realistic enough; you need to take time to make us believe somebody actually died. Also the sudden discovery of a letter written by the wife by the kids doesn’t sit well – its not believable.
    We also don’t understand why the kids are a bit hostile to their Dad as though he was not their father.

    You need to give us enough back story to beef up the tale.

    Don’t stop writing. You can only get better.

  4. Profile photo of Deremi
    Deremi (@Jessy_deremi): Junior Writer - 3025 pts

    thank you @Afronuts

  5. Profile photo of empress sewande
    empress sewande (@empresssewande): Junior Writer - 1180 pts

    okay, lets read what comes next.

  6. Profile photo of innoalifa
    innoalifa (@innoalifa): Head Wordsmith - 112374 pts

    Nice so far but kind fast-motion……………….your mind was creatively running perhaps………………………….

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