crying in d rain

Alice

She mourns her fate
Sipping from the chalice of sorrow
Fitfully
As I watch,
Her lips tremble:
Filling her eyes with tears
Till they are twice as large
Her throbbing hands
Filled with her bosom
As she cries herself hoarse
In soft suppressed moans
Coarsely
Till she’s worn
She falls asleep finally,
In a pool of her tears
Night after night
A daily nocturnal ritual with which
She mourns her shattered dreams.

But day comes soon enough
And she learns to hold her pain
In a gutsy gaze
She doesn’t have to be brave
But she chooses to be
So she masks her worries
Like acne hidden in the brown swirls
Of caked powder
She sweeps them under
One stab
One dab
One masterful stroke after another
Her face as the canvass,
She tucks away the misery
Underneath a contrived beauty
She practises her smile in front of the mirror
Till she’s picture perfect
Transformed into a Van Gogh work of art
The irony of it all –
She’s unhappy still.

She wishes
She never gave her heart away.
Once upon a time,
She fell in love,
A free fall it was,
From the heights of Eiffel
For it broke her heart;
And a limb
She proceeded to fix the limb
But locked the shards of her heart
In a safe-deposit box
So she never has to forget

But she often forgets
That the choice she makes
Either make or mar her
That her life is only as good
As her choices
Life or death
Love or hate
light or dark
Joy
Or sorrow
Are hers for the choosing
Happiness is a way of life
Not an impression you leave
She fools the world
But not herself,
She’s happy but immersed in sorrow.
The conflict;
She needs saving
But no one else can,
Just her.

*Dedicated to every woman out there going through pain. You really don’t have to be ‘strong’, you know?

Tosin is a 26 year-old literary enthusiast and lover of nature. Trained as a scientist, he currently works as an Executive with a Strategic Business and Marketing Communications Agency based in Lagos. He strongly believes he’ll be able to touch the world one poem, one story, and one article at a time.


9 thoughts on “Alice” by tosyn (@tosinosha)

  1. Profile photo of innoalifa
    innoalifa (@innoalifa): Head Wordsmith - 131997 pts

    I love this, simply written in a lucid language that’s not devoid of precision and concision…

  2. Profile photo of Distinguished
    Distinguished (@DistinguishedAnoke): Junior Writer - 1737 pts

    Apt use of words…

  3. Profile photo of sambright
    sambright (@sambrightomo): Head Wordsmith - 99110 pts

    they really dont have to be ‘strong’? that is an interesting twist to your poem…hmn..

  4. Profile photo of tosyn
    tosyn (@tosinosha): Scribe - 13052 pts

    Thanks guys, I appreciate. Hopefully, I’ll get to post stuff here more often.

  5. Profile photo of Deremi
    Deremi (@Jessy_deremi): Junior Writer - 3081 pts

    If we shouldn’t be “strong” what then should we be?

  6. Profile photo of Kwiksie
    Kwiksie (@kwiksie): Scribe - 11215 pts

    The hopefulness in the poem is really appealing; however, you didn’t really let folks know what Alice has got to do to attain the ‘happiness’ you speak of. It’s like saying the broke, starving fellow should ‘go get some food’ and giving him no tangible aid for him to.
    Plus, since Alice is so lost in her misery, seems to me ‘strength’ is all she’s got. To quote @Jessy_deremi: “If we shouldn’t be “strong” what then should we be?”

    Lovely piece though @tosinosha.
    Nice bio btw. :)

    1. Profile photo of tosyn
      tosyn (@tosinosha): Scribe - 13052 pts

      Why do I get the feeling that I just crossed the path of superwomen?

      Hehehe…

      The piece sha talks about a pretty young woman who still feels the pain of being heartbroken. She continues to bear a grudge refusing to let go of the past. This is explained by the fact that she “locks the shards of her broken heart so she never forgets…”

      She pretends to have moved on on the outside, but she still cries herself to sleep every night.

      Now the simple truth is that letting go of the grudges we bear is always ALWAYS the first step in the healing process with regards to psychological trauma.

      And by saying you don’t have to be strong, I only mean it’s okay to let out our tears and pain sometimes instead of giving the world the ‘Superwoman’. impression.

      Thanks, Ladies! I do appreciate your thought processes and queries.

      1. Profile photo of Kwiksie
        Kwiksie (@kwiksie): Scribe - 11215 pts

        Alright, i get it. Strength displayed should not be synonymous with pain’s denial. Nicely done.
        :)

  7. Profile photo of Tai Fasina
    Tai Fasina (@Tai): Head Wordsmith - 58124 pts

    This is nice anyway. Well written, only you knows the purpose, I just like how it’s written. Well done

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