My Beloved

THE TRIALS OF LOVE (part 1 of chapter 1)

 Hi all, This is a novel  I want to publish. The road is bound to be long and hard. I am nervous but I going for it. I am counting on all you support. Contructive criticisim is welcome I won’t take offense.

 

Blood spurted merrily out of the wound making it look more serious than she actually suspected it was. She doubled the pad in her hand and applied it over the gash the task not made easy by the squirming crying child who owned the injury and the annoying wailing of the impromptu assistant she had co opted to assist her.

“Musa please hold him down. I need to bandage his head.” She said grimly.

“Madam I no like blood! I no like blood!” Musa cried.

She wanted to yell at him to keep quiet and act like the adult he was suppose to be. But she kept her irritation at his whining in check. Why on earth apply for the job of a security guard if you couldn’t stand the sight of a little blood? She wished she could dismiss him. After all, his cries where alarming her young charge all the more. But there was just the two of them left in the whole school and a frightened and in pain five year old could kick up quite a storm.

The accident had taken place just after her assistant had left. The boy’s driver has usual, was running late and boredom had taken over. He had been running from one end of the class to the other.   By lap two she had decided it was enough and had been about to ask him to stop when he tripped over his loosen shoe lace (which she had tied for him for the umpteen time today already) and hit his  head against the edge  of her desk.

Now, Segun was her most restless student. For every child she called once for an offence she probably called him ten times and she had known an incident was in the offing. But she had been expecting something along the line of a scraped knee or elbow, not a deep gash in the head which despite her best efforts was obviously still bleeding , since  the bandages were staining rapidly. She needed to take the kid to the hospital.

Wiping her hands against her skirt, she scooped the boy into her arms.

“Open the door I need to take him to the hospital.”She said.

Musa, glad to be free of the job of playing nurse, rushed to open the door for her. Leading the way, he opened all the other doors  until they got out into the open. She proceeded rapidly to her tired looking car. Musa opened the back door for her and she put Segun down, or rather tried to. The boy had coiled himself around her in a grip that would have made a boa constrictor proud.

“Segun, baby I need to put you down because I need to drive.” She said.

But his grip on her only tighten and he sobbed even louder.

“Musa you would have to -” She began and made to hand over the boy to the security man.

Only to have him jump away.

“Madam no…no… I no fit…”

She stared at the man in annoyance and frustration. He looked like he would pass out if so much as touched the boy again.

She knew he couldn’t drive. So that left her with only one option a taxi.

“Open the main gate for me.” She instructed him.

Outside, she stood for precious few seconds; the entire place looked deserted, saved for an empty vehicle parked across the road. She desperately began flagging taxis’ then any vehicle with no luck. She was about to go back in and force Musa to man up when she noticed a tall figure rise from behind the car across the road …

 

Yep, definitely a flat. But it could be managed to the office.

”Excuse me, please …”

Chuka turned. Two pools of the most beautiful sparkling light brown eyes he had ever seen met and held his gaze. For a second or two he was stunned speechless and he literally felt and heard his heart go on overdrive. Framing those spectacular eyes was a nearly perfect oval face the colour of cam wood. She had high cheekbones, a well rounded nose, full lips as it was for most African women. He wanted to investigate further, lower… when from somewhere really far away in his brain the reason for her calling his attention registered. He looked down at the sobbing mass she held in her arms.

His training took over immediately.

“What happen?” He asked and moved closer to inspect the child.

Though his mind was focused on the emergency his awareness of her was intensifying by the minute. She smelt good. No perfume. Just soap combined with what scent was naturally her, it was nice, intoxicating  even…he shook his head slightly.

“He tripped and cut his head on the edge of a table.” she replied.

And what voice… He swallowed.

“Let me see.” He said.

She hesitated. “I don’t think that is wise it is really_”

He interrupted her gently “Please trust me.”

Again she hesitated briefly then removed her hand from the troubled spot.

The bandage work was impressive but unfortunately was already very heavily stained an indication that it was failing at its job. He lifted her free hand and he could swear his heart had skipped a beat at the contact. Focus. He told himself. There will be time to analysis this…this sudden madness.

“Place your hand like this and continue to apply pressure, he probably cut a few blood vessels that is why it is bleeding so much. He will need stitches.”

He turned away to open his car; the activity allowing him to take  a  long breath to steady himself. He quickly opened the passenger side for her. As she slid in her young charge, who had been whimpering quietly began to cry again.

“Shsss it’s ok.” she said.

Turning to him she said “Thank you.”

He simply nodded.The of power speech eluding him for a moment.

Fortunately, the hospital was not too far and in less than ten minutes they had arrived. Jumping out, he quickly circled the car and opened the passenger door.

“Let me take him.”

Carefully taking the boy from her, he walked briskly into the hospital; brushing aside all attempts to be relieved of his burden by nurses he found the nearest vacant treatment room and began working on the child.

She entered shortly after and moved quietly to the other side of the bed and held the child’s hand; keeping him calm with encouraging words. Usually he would have been doing the same but he felt so rattled by the inexplicable thoughts and emotions running wild through him that he couldn’t think of anything to say. So he worked in silence.

“There all done.” He strengthened his back.

Thankfully, the simple procedure had been concluded without a hitch. Stitches of this nature were basic stuff especially for a doctor at his level. But he had never had to them in  the presence of a woman who drove him to such distraction.

“There that wasn’t so bad was it?” He said to the minor.

The boy simply peered at him through his one free eye and sniffed.

“Here.” He produced a sweet from one of his pockets.

The child timidly took it from him.

“Segun say thank you to the nice doctor.” The lady prompted.

Segun kept quiet.

“Let him be he has just been through quite an experience.” He said.

She moved closer to look at the child face.

“It’s not as bad it looks.”He felt the need to say since the bandages practically covered the left eye.

She looked up at him. He felt himself go weak.

“Thank you doctor…?”

“Chuka.” He replied a second or two later. Hoping she hadn’t noticed the pause.

“Chuka.” She repeated.

“You’re a life saver, I can’t express my thanks enough_ ”

“No problem. As you can see you didn’t even take me out my way.” He replied.

Then there was a few seconds of awkward silence and they stood looking at each other. Say something. Anything. He told himself. But nothing came to mind.

Then she spoke up abruptly.

“I… I better go see about the bill.”  With that she spun around heading for the door.

“Wait, don’t bother about that.”

She stopped, one hand on the door handle and looked back at him. The simple act caused him to catch his breath. She looked like the leading lady in a hot action movie with strands of  her long hair which had come loose from the clip which held them plastered against her face. The blood stains on her pure white fitted blouse and grey skirt only serve to enhance the effect.

“Why not? This is a private hospital isn’t it?”

“Yes but…”

”Then I have bill to pay.”She said not allowing him to finish and opened the door.

“I’ll pay it.”

“What? No, Dr. Chuka you have been more than kind, I can’t accept… ”

“Your school is St Gregory’s isn’t it? Consider it a donation.”

“But…”

“Please?”

She seemed about to argue then stopped.

“Alright. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He replied pleased that she wasn’t going to press the issue.

She made a U-turn back and scooped up the now sleeping child from the bed. She was leaving. He knew he just couldn’t let her go like that he had to see her again…

“I’ll have someone take you back to the school.”

And before she could respond to that he added.

“Before you thank me again, I’ll like to ask if I can call to take you out sometime.”

At that, her countenance changed. It was now a mixture of coolness tainted with disappointment. She was questioning his early gesture of kindness. He hadn’t done any of the things he had done for some form of pay back; though he was interested in her. How to explain… he decided to be direct.

“Please don’t misunderstand me, I don’t hit on patients. You are a level headed person who did not lose her cool under a stressful situation; I admire that and would sincerely like to get to know you better.” He held his breath.

Just has it had appeared he saw the clouded look on her face disappear to be replaced by a look of uncertainty and a little hint of shyness? He couldn’t quite tell. All he could think was please don’t say no.

“Alright let me give you my number.” she replied and he sighed inwardly with relief.

He brought out his phone and took down the figures. And she turned once more to leave.

“Wait.” He said and she turned back again.

“I do not your name.” He said.

“Oh, sorry.” And she smiled making his heart flutter. “I am Zara…Chizara.”

Comments

comments


21 thoughts on “THE TRIALS OF LOVE (part 1 of chapter 1)” by amy78 (@amy78)

  1. Profile photo of oxymorontalks
    oxymorontalks (@oxymoron93): Scribe - 10217 pts

    lovelyyy…amazinggg…

    1. Profile photo of amy78
      amy78 (@amy78): Writer - 9696 pts

      @oxymoron93 thanks…glad you liked it. please keep on reading

  2. Profile photo of Chino Ibe
    Chino Ibe (@ChinoIbe): Beginner - 727 pts

    Interesting, I must say.

    1. Profile photo of amy78
      amy78 (@amy78): Writer - 9696 pts

      Thanks please continue to follow @ChinoIbe

  3. Profile photo of jbaby
    jbaby (@jesusbabby4eva): Newbie - 130 pts

    Wonderful story. I was disappointed when it ended. The only correction I would like to make is on your punctuation and tense. I found quite a number of errors in those regard:

    Grammar (The corrected words are in caps.)

    … UMPTEENTH time THAT DAY…
    By THE SECOND LAP…
    … known an ACCIDENT…
    ”What HAPPENED?” he asked.

    Punctuation

    ”I don’t think that is wise. It is really…”
    ”There. All done.”
    ”There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

    Just to mention a few. Thumbs up!

    1. Profile photo of amy78
      amy78 (@amy78): Writer - 9696 pts

      @jesusbabby4eva sorry about d typos…editing isn’t easy for me but I am working on it. Please keep reading.

  4. Profile photo of Myne
    Myne (@Myne): Senior Scribe - 29329 pts

    I loved the story too but was distracted by quite a number of typos.

    Loose shoe lace or loosened not loosed.
    as instead of has
    and a few more.

    I know this is the preliminary stages so there’s more re-reading intended.

    1. Profile photo of amy78
      amy78 (@amy78): Writer - 9696 pts

      @Myne. Thanks for stopping by to read. Your input means a great deal to me. Will try to work on the typos… it as always been my biggest challange as a writer.

  5. Profile photo of brooke
    brooke (@patience1): Beginner - 500 pts

    Nice story…love to read d subsequent episodes

    1. Profile photo of amy78
      amy78 (@amy78): Writer - 9696 pts

      @patience1 Thanks for stopping by and reading and taking the pains to comment. I am happy you like it.

  6. Profile photo of bunmiril
    bunmiril (@bunmiril): Writer - 8424 pts

    In addition to the afore mentioned errors, the line before last had a missing word.
    It’s interesting but take time to edit.

    1. Profile photo of amy78
      amy78 (@amy78): Writer - 9696 pts

      @bunmril corrections noted. Thanks stopping by to read.

  7. Profile photo of Nalongo
    Nalongo (@Nalongo): Scribe - 12214 pts

    Note all the corrections. Will like to read more.

  8. Profile photo of Sir Sam
    Sir Sam (@mcsnol): Senior Scribe - 20002 pts

    Just take your time to edit. Its a nice story.

    1. Profile photo of amy78
      amy78 (@amy78): Writer - 9696 pts

      I will improve on the editing. Thanks for reading. @mscnol

  9. Profile photo of namdi
    namdi (@namdi): Scribe - 18904 pts

    Nice story.

    Try edit the other episodes. It wont be nice if same mistakes -as highlighted above- are spotted again.

  10. Profile photo of amy78
    amy78 (@amy78): Writer - 9696 pts

    @namdi.Sorry about the typos… subsequent episodes will be better Thanks for stopping by.

  11. Profile photo of silvanus
    silvanus (@silvanus): Junior Writer - 1394 pts

    i love the synergy in the story..and i must say it is interesting too..but please checkout for some typos..GOOD JOB!

  12. Profile photo of Ladyzizi
    Ladyzizi (@Ngozi-Ebubedike): Beginner - 828 pts

    The is really good and very descriptive. However, apart from the typos and punctuations already pointed out, you should also watch your flow and pace. E.g, “squirming crying injured child…” but adding “who owned……” toned down the pace of the sentence. Also, …the adult he was.’ adding suppose to be, not necessary, he is an adult. Also, ‘kick up a storm’, (quite not needed) etc.
    Furthermore, your script will be neat and trim if you do away with most of the”HAD” words there. E.g “The accident took place after her assistant left. The boy’s driver, as usual was late. out of boredom, the child was running…… She (had) co opted to assist.. etc.
    However, congrats, it’s a very wonderful and interesting story, i will look out for more. waiting.

  13. Profile photo of innoalifa
    innoalifa (@innoalifa): Head Wordsmith - 113873 pts

    I can’t hold my words – it’s a good start, quite lucid and uncomplicated… please keep on… want to follow the book gist…

  14. Profile photo of olajumoke omisore
    olajumoke omisore (@olajumoke): Head Wordsmith - 135565 pts

    I echo what @Myne said about the distractions.
    I don’t think I have ever met a writer who enjoys editing @amy78 but you will find it more bearable the more you do it.
    A writer once said- writers should write when they are tired and edit when they are at their best.
    I try to find a middle ground these days (not always easy). I edit with eyes that are not too tired.
    Sorry for going on.
    I enjoyed this chapter and it is one of those first chapters that makes you ask what next.
    I like your characterisation too.
    So well done.
    Trim, cut, rephrase bits and spell check (word should underline them for you if misspelt or out of place) then watch a flawless chapter emerge.
    Some people are better when it comes to spotting typos so you might want to find a good friend who can spare the time.
    Good luck Amy. I’m sure you will do it.

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