When they tell me about it, i become “obedient”
When am sad i think about it
When i think about it i become lonely
I don’t even want to think about it,
I don’t want anyone near it
I just want it like it never happened!
When the thought of it comes it’s like thrusting a spear into my heart
When this thought comes i feel like the whole world knows my problem
And when i think about it i pause all activities which puts my future on “Hold” and your present moment like it doesn’t exist
At this point in life i become restless, careless and lonely.
And what i want is just “quietness” because i just remembered MY PAST
Now i got to fix it up!
Of course i need all the space
I don’t want anyone interfering with things i do.
Now i don’t even care if anyone gets hurt
Because i already am
I hardly recognize how others feel, what i know is what i feel
So their opinion? “they can keep it!”
Now everyone is complaining but i am ignoring
They are trying but i am crying
And i get to push them away because they keep reminding you of my thoughts my past
I wanted to be alone but now am lonely because i was NONCHALANT
But how do i explain that i didn’t mean to hurt anyone without telling them my past?
How do i calm down to start telling them how i felt?
(failing to admit i pushed them away)
Now i want to move on with my life and meet new people
Just because i had so much PRIDE i couldn’t tell them how i felt.
So i got to move on!
Hoping it wont happen again…..