I feel let down,
I feel shamed,
I feel stupid.
I look at events gone by,
I know that I have made mistakes,
grave mistakes that have kept me
stressed, vexed, harassed;
the sort of mistakes
that keep you up all night
wondering, thinking, pondering
what went wrong and where?
Who went wrong and when?.
You look beyond the picture.
You see others
with drooping shoulders and dropped heads
with their arms folded, lips pursed,
sighing, hissing, stressing
on “how could you have let yourself get drowned”.
You see some others
sitting, standing, smiling
with outstretched arms, wide eyed stares,
haughty glares and hearty cheers
boasting, bragging, bashing
your image or rather what you have left of it
having a grand day, in fact, the day of their lives
all because you let yourself down.
If I did not have the capacity,
I would have doubted my ability.
But with this endowed capability,
whence the failure with sagacity?.
I feel I’m going down.
I see myself drowning.
I can’t look
my friends in the eyes.
I throw blames
around for my woes.
What is this I’ve done to myself?,
“I’ve been saved before!”,
Oh! how consoling!!
Will I be saved again?
My soul says Yes!
but my mind says No!
for it has come down to this.
is knowing that
It could easily have been success
If you had put in
a little more time.