I stared at the woman preaching on the pulpit and tears welled up my eyes but I willed them away with all my strength.
“You must not cry Moji, you can’t let this people know how messed up your life is and you definitely don’t want to draw attention to yourself!” A voice cried out within me and I gathered more strength to will away the tears.
The woman was preaching against premarital sex and every word she said pierced my soul, it felt like she had used me as a case study before going upstage to give the message.
“You see those men out there, they take young ladies and sleep with them, they feed them with lies and entice them to get into their panties but when it’s time to settle down, they look for virgins to make their wives. No man wants a loose woman for a wife!” She said and mopped the beads of sweat on her face with an handkerchief.
“Yes Pastor!” The guys sitting behind me shouted in agreement to the preacher’s last statement.
I wasn’t loose, I had been faithful to my ex-boyfriends;three of them and I was faithful to Chris, the guy I was presently going out with but then, I had slept with all four of them during the course of our relationship, does that make me loose?
“Even an unbeliever doesn’t want a loose woman for a wife, if a man gets married to a woman he has been having premarital sex with, there will be no trust in that kind of marriage because he will always think that woman had also been sleeping with other men before their marriage. Is that not so?”
The affirmative response was so loud I could have sworn the ground shook a little. I scoffed; this woman was practically telling my life story, I was not yet married to Chris but we were already having trust issues and he had even called me a slut a couple of times in the heat of our misunderstandings.
“Sexual relationship is only for married couples because it is an act that establishes a covenant between the parties involved and every covenant that is sexually entered into outside marriage or with someone you are not married to is unholy and of the forces of darkness!”
My heart started racing the moment I heard the word ‘covenant’, I hated that word and everything related to it. I remember how I had vehemently refused to enter into a blood covenant with Dayo, my first love;the one I gave the ‘honour’ of deflowering me as a proof of my love, it was because I refused to take an oath with him to prove my love for him that I gave him my virginity in replacement of the oath. He asked me to prove my love for him, yet a year after we started sleeping together(as a proof of love) he dumped me without batting an eyelid.
If it was true that sexual intercourse established some kind of covenant between the parties involved then it meant I was into covenants with four different men…what to do?