It’s been too long and my heart is a witness
So my running open-armed towards you
ought be blamed on joy and not fitness.
Through the crystal-like film veiling my eyes,
you see why my words are few.
But instead of mirroring my actions
you expose me to a loook which ought replace a rule,
as you nod like a lizard and leave me standing there –
gazing in shock after you.
I think to myself, ‘Must have been a spirit.
Must have been anything but you!’
But who am i trying to fool?
Too oft you change, as the seasons do.
One mood, and then another until i’m confused as to which is truth.
It seems now you’ve chosen the person you really want to be –
– a terrible pick, might i add.
You ignore me, it stings;
The weather in December.
Cold is now your identity, ice your countenance;
And since you no longer talk to me
I’m yet unable to understand…
The only smiles i see now are the ones my memories got to keep.
Now i only wonder why the real you went to sleep.
I wonder if she will ever awaken,
so she might drive away this wooden shell
which sought a home and picked your heart for the taking.
Permanently sullen, expressions void of feeling;
I truly begin to doubt if you are still human.
You were my playmate and the joy of my youth.
I witnessed you get your first romance scar,
you caught my first milk tooth;
whatever is it that has so hidden your heart?
I’ve lost my friend, confidante and ally,
it seems i am not good enough for you anymore.
I begged you, that stranger, not to marry —
I looked deep into your eyes and knew you knew what my worries were for.
You claimed they were baseless, i prayed you were right;
i have prayed so everyday since that night.
I see the way you look at me now and i sigh
for i am at a loss as to why there’s disgust in your eyes.
The city must have been hard on you
and to hear of your experience there i want nothing more.
Maybe i can find out what you went through,
for your seeming needless hostility bruises my heart sore.
Maybe i’ll be worth your attention if i’m polished too.
For i’m unsure if it’s my fault that you’re now refined and i’m raw.
Or maybe this is now you permanently,
and you simply cannot love me anymore?
I hope i get to go there someday;
to the fast bright city we only ever dreamed about.
Yet my mission is not to be stolen away
but to find the heart which once held me dear.
If i find it, i swear, i will bring it back to your form
and expel the alien in residence.
Because no matter the crimes i may have ever committed…
being the target of your hate is an unbearable sentence.
Picture credit: Google images