“Honestly you’re beautiful”, he said to me. Caught unawares, I blushed profusely. “God knew what He was doing when He created you”, he continued.”You’re special, yes you’re Nigerian but you’re a different breed. You’re very important to me”. I blushed some more. His sweet-nothings continued and my cheeks kept turning purple (that’s how black people blush right?). As he bade me farewell, he added “I will call my Mum up and tell her that I met someone special”.
The blushing stopped, my skin turned brown again. Alarm bells rang in my head. Say what now?! I said, “no o, please don’t”. Only God knows how many mothers have heard of me. Eunice, Ife, Nissy. I don’t even know what name they tell their mothers. I digress. “But why? I know I’m not a millionaire’s son but I can be what you want in a man” he says.
And that is the problem. A guy will say and do anything to win a girl over. He will change for you all in the name of being a better man. The famous “You make me want to be a better me”. He will skip work just to come and see you. He’ll call you up several times a day, even when his pocket is almost dry. He will do so much and expect nothing in return, except that you say yes to his proposition. And when you do, the facade comes off. He changes back and you get to see the real person underneath all those sweet nothings.
The calls trickle down to one 40 seconds call to quickly say hi. He can’t come visit anymore because he is extremely busy at work. He hasn’t told you how beautiful you look in months. If you have the energy to point out his faults, the famous “You can’t change me, this is who I am” words are blurted out in your direction. And then you wonder how one person can impersonate two different characters. And how stupid you were to fall for the masquerade. So as James keeps spewing out his undying love for me (We’ve barely known each other for two weeks), I found myself yawning because I’ve heard it all.
How I must have been created on a public holiday cuz “Babe you’re gorgeous”; how I’m the kind of woman he would like to settle down with; how I shouldn’t count it against him that he didn’t finish university but he can provide for all my needs cuz “Baby I’m a hustler”. Ha!
When I say I’m done with men, I mean I’m done picking them out with my five senses. When the time is right, and I now believe that I’m ready to settle down with another woman’s grown up, successful, tall, dark and handsome son, it will be with my ears open, open to what God has to say. Why? Because only He knows the true nature and character of every individual.