Musings of a Single girl

“Honestly you’re beautiful”, he said to me. Caught unawares, I blushed profusely. “God knew what He was doing when He created you”, he continued.”You’re special, yes you’re Nigerian but you’re a different breed. You’re very important to me”. I blushed some more. His sweet-nothings continued and my cheeks kept turning purple (that’s how black people blush right?). As he bade me farewell, he added “I will call my Mum up and tell her that I met someone special”.

The blushing stopped, my skin turned brown again. Alarm bells rang in my head. Say what now?! I said, “no o, please don’t”. Only God knows how many mothers have heard of me. Eunice, Ife, Nissy. I don’t even know what name they tell their mothers. I digress. “But why? I know I’m not a millionaire’s son but I can be what you want in a man” he says.

And that is the problem. A guy will say and do anything to win a girl over. He will change for you all in the name of being a better man. The famous “You make me want to be a better me”. He will skip work just to come and see you. He’ll call you up several times a day, even when his pocket is almost dry. He will do so much and expect nothing in return, except that you say yes to his proposition. And when you do, the facade comes off. He changes back and you get to see the real person underneath all those sweet nothings.

The calls trickle down to one 40 seconds call to quickly say hi. He can’t come visit anymore because he is extremely busy at work. He hasn’t told you how beautiful you look in months. If you have the energy to point out his faults, the famous “You can’t change me, this is who I am” words are blurted out in your direction. And then you wonder how one person can impersonate two different characters. And how stupid you were to fall for the masquerade. So as James keeps spewing out his undying love for me (We’ve barely known each other for two weeks), I found myself yawning because I’ve heard it all.

How I must have been created on a public holiday cuz “Babe you’re gorgeous”; how I’m the kind of woman he would like to settle down with; how I shouldn’t count it against him that he didn’t finish university but he can provide for all my needs cuz “Baby I’m a hustler”. Ha!

When I say I’m done with men, I mean I’m done picking them out with my five senses. When the time is right, and I now believe that I’m ready to settle down with another woman’s grown up, successful, tall, dark and handsome son, it will be with my ears open, open to what God has to say. Why? Because only He knows the true nature and character of every individual.



28 thoughts on “Musings of a Single girl” by Eunice (@Euniceade)

  1. Indulge me – please.

    “And that is the problem. A guy will say and do anything to win a girl over. He will change for you all in the name of being a better man. The famous “You make me want to be a better me”. He will skip work just to come and see you. He’ll call you up several times a day, even when his pocket is almost dry. He will do so much and expect nothing in return, except that you say yes to his proposition. And when you do, the facade comes off. He changes back and you get to see the real person underneath all those sweet nothings.

    The calls trickle down to one 40 seconds call to quickly say hi. He can’t come visit anymore because he is extremely busy at work. He hasn’t told you how beautiful you look in months. If you have the energy to point out his faults, the famous “You can’t change me, this is who I am” words are blurted out in your direction. And then you wonder how one person can impersonate two different characters. And how stupid you were to fall for the masquerade. So as James keeps spewing out his undying love for me (We’ve barely known each other for two weeks), I found myself yawning because I’ve heard it all. ”

    Are you kidding me?

    Seriously – all it takes to change a man is to say yes to him asking you out – or am I missing something?

    Of course, y’all have heard it all. That’s why most guys don’t see why to bother with ‘sweet nothings’ anymore. Because they keep asking themselves – what’s the point?

    Meanwhile…someone should tell Toke…*cough cough*

    Just kidding.

    Keep musing though.

    1. As to why bother, yes why bother with sweet nothings you don’t mean. I’d prefer a guy who’d step up to me and be real. I hate pick-up lines and cliché memorised words sef.

  2. Seun thank you for taking time to leave a comment. No, all it takes to change a man isn’t to say yes to him asking you out. What I tried bringing out from this write-up is that guys blows you away with all sorts of romantic gestures when trying to woo a girl, but when she accepts his proposal, he sees it as the conquest is over and the victory is won, why continue the romantic gestures when his aim is achieved. The romance part isn’t really who they are, and they play that part just to win the girl over. Obviously its a role play that can’t last forever so it wears off. Unfortunately the girl, using her five sense, gets reeled in with all this romantic gestures and accepts to date, and then wonders what made him change after a few weeks/months of dating.

  3. “Honestly you’re beautiful”, “God knew what He was doing when He created you”: this is so cliche and shallow…
    ”You’re special, yes you’re Nigerian but you’re a different breed.”: what does this even mean, that is so conceited and bordeline racist.

    Nice one Eunice. Now in matter of finding a partner/spouse, I always tell my kids to find a friend first (I have two girls and two boys) and let the relationship grow from there. Also if you want to test someone’s character, look at the way he treats people who can do nothing for him (kids, elderly people….)

    1. @Jefsaraurmax I just moved back to Nigeria after almost 20 years away. I guess he thought he was giving me a compliment.

      I totally agree with being friends first; unfortunately not most people are patient enough to build a friendship, always looking for something more.

    2. @jefsaraurmax, I love your ideology, right on spot. That’s HW I picked my husband. And he hasn’t changed. He is still my friend, and he still helps the unloved and poor in the society whenever he can. But honestly o! The sweet nothings they say drop in courtship and further in marriage when guys now face the responsibility of looking after their woman. Doesn’t mean they don’t love you anymore sha, its just that the focus has shifted.

      but your article was fun to read @euniceade

      1. @funpen thank God there are still good men out there.

        Thanks for reading.

  4. Well done Eunice, I totally agree with you, but there are still some guys that are different.@Jefsaraurmax, I do agree with you on been friends first, it is the best.

    1. @Blackgold I didn’t mean to include ALL men into this group of men; to every general rule, there’s an exception. So yes, there are exceptionally honest, loyal, faithful, romantic guys out there.

      Thanks for your comment.

  5. I liked the yawning part…….cliche lines are boring lines.

    “How come you’ve changed so soon?”…….wel, its not exclusive to guys only; ladies do same.

    1. True @namdi, it goes both ways. Thanks for reading.

  6. This was nice and i really agree with the end (couldn’t have said it better myself). He could be ‘fair’ though, i’m not too picky, lol.
    However, i’m always very careful at complete generalizations. Your words and scenario are most likely accurate to some degree but there will always be those exceptions as well as variables that will prove some of them wrong.
    Either way, i absolutely get where you’re coming from with this, and methinks many a girl can relate. :)

    1. @Kwiksie I don’t mean all men are like that. They’re the different few. And my future hubby is going to be one of them :)

      Thanks for reading.

      1. I sure hope so girl. For you and me both.
        ;) I enjoyed reading.

  7. I can relate to this.

    1. Nice, hope you relate to the conclusion too @Nalongo.

      Thanks for reading.

  8. So ladies are still on this tall,dark and handsome thing. Y’all need to get real. About the piece itself,it seems unfinished,like one part of a series. You would do well to give the story a sequel or two.

  9. Hmmmn, it is good to hear these things over and over again.
    Funny enough, I do relate with this piece somehow.

  10. This was just hilarious. When will you women stop whining. It is natural that all relationship simmer down after the first 3 months. People get used to each other, it is no crime. People don’t behave same way in courtship as they behave in marriage.
    Plus, it seems to me that you attract only the mumu guys. That aint my fault.
    Now, lady, come to me…let me tell you how I came to be so wonderful.

    *whispering* why does your username sound so much like a ‘quickie’? Talk to me, sweetie.

    1. This was written by @euniceade and not @kwiksie? Oh well, that whispered question was for quicksie.

      1. Wow. Really @kaycee? I’m not surprised though…you’re not the first person saying that.
        Sha, don’t judge a name by it’s sound is all i suggest.

        And about attracting the mumu guys, it may not be exactly the case for the young lady in question (since you’re definitely not referring to me).
        Some dudes just take advantage of a poor girls ‘niceness’ in not telling ’em off as they deserve i guess…
        :)

    2. @kaycee mumu guys like you shey?

      Thanks for reading.

  11. Having heard too many ‘sweet nothings’ you become wary because you sense the dishonesty beneath them. But the crazy thing is, when ‘sweet nothings’ cease, you become worried because then you begin to see the ‘finish line’.

    1. @Theo there’s nothing wrong with genuine compliments and show of affection. But usually these sweet nothings are phony and said only to woo the girl. That’s why they trickle down to nothing after the girl accepts to date him.

      I’m praying for a naturally romantic man to marry me, who’ll continue to be affectionate years after we’ve tied the knot.

  12. @Eunice perhaps you need to consider the way you carry yourself, the friends you move around with, even the way you roll your balls so to say.
    Sweet nothings sometimes is a reaction to the impression a lady leaves in a man’s mind.
    like some will say, “men tell a woman what she *wants* to hear”
    Be true to yourself and make no misgivings of who you are or what you like, one day you’ll find the man of your dream.

    By the way, I like your write up. I hope you are not blunt all the time.

  13. beautiful piece
    i enjoyed it.

    1. Thank you for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.

  14. To say that this story is interesting may not be a bad idea……….NICE~

Leave a Reply