The Moi-Moi Saga

The Moi-Moi Saga

Lightning flashed across the sky. The clouds drifted close to each other, turning dusk into thick darkness, the air was chilly with the wind blowing dust around. The street was busy with everyone rushing home to escape the approaching rain. The road was congested as motorists, bike riders and pedestrians were all in a rush.

I was bone tired. I had had a busy day at the office. I quickened my step and clutched my bag tighter. I was on my way home, trekking the short distance between my home and the office. My face was crunched tight and there were stress lines visible on my face.I gingerly picked my way across the street, carefully watching out for the reckless motor-bike riders.

I was about turning into my neighbourhood when I perceived a sweet aroma. I remembered that I had nothing to eat as I had run out of foodstuffs earlier in the week. I had been sustaining myself with indomie, bread and garri and I seriously needed a change of food. I had made up my mind to go and get some foodstuffs this weekend but weekend is still about two days away.

Moi-moi will not be bad idea as it will give a change of taste. I moved closer to the shop where the aroma was coming from and the aroma was quite tantalizing.
The fire was hungrily licking brightly at the huge pot of moi-moi. My face carved into a grin as I imagined how I will curl up on my sofa enjoying a hot and delicious moi-moi on this cold evening and afterwards enjoy a nice and rewarding sleep.

I could not wait to get home.
The woman selling the moi-moi was frail, thin and her face was designed with marks. I guessed the woman must be new to the area because the woman was not there when I passed this area yesterday.

I moved closer to her and told her to sell me #80 worth of moi-moi. As she was about removing the cover of the pot, the rain started so, I went into her stall to seek refuge from the rain.
The woman stood back in the rain trying to adjust the pot of moi-moi and shield the fire from the onslaught of the rain.
I watched as she adjusted the hot pot with her bare hands, Her hands were thin and dry with the veins sticking out probably due to poverty or burns from cooking. While rearranging the position of the moi-moi, she looked into the drainage, and saw the way the heavy current was sweeping away the refuse dumped into the drainage. She smiled and said “O ti e da, ki o maa wo gbogbo idoti yen lo,ki o maa wo lo. (It is good; it should wash away all the dirt. Yes! It should wash it away).

The next thing I saw as I watched her made me blink my eyes twice. I used my hand to clear my face to be sure that my eyes are not deceiving me. I picked my eye-glasses from my bag and put them on so as to see clearly.

The huge pot of moi-moi had fallen inside the drainage and the heavy current had rapidly washed it away.
“Yee, mo Gbe, mo je gbese, owo jona, owo olowo, tani mose” (yee, am in trouble, I have incurred a debt, money has burnt, someone else’s money, who did I offend) were her cries.

Tears gathered in my eyes for the woman who was trying to make ends meet but faced such a setback and for the dinner I won’t be eating that night.

I felt pity for the woman and anger at her for neglecting the fact that power lies in the tongue.

After some attempts at consoling the woman, and at the same time consoling myself, I picked up my bag and walked home in the rain.

 

P.S Please read and drop your comments. I will like to hear your opinion of the story.  Thanks.



26 thoughts on “The Moi-Moi Saga” by Borry (@Borry)

  1. Okay now.

    I felt for the woman. Too bad she had to lose goods. Fair story.

    *KG*

    1. @kodeya.Thanks for reading and commenting.

  2. Chidiebere Wisdom Chris Uwakwe (@Chidieberewisdom)

    Good effort. you could better.

  3. Well done. Would do with a little editing. “I guessed the woman was new to the area…” That paragraph, I think you should substitute the word ‘woman’ for ‘she’ in the last 2 places were u used ‘woman’

    1. @kaycee. Thanks,the corrections are noted.

  4. this is quite funny Borry and good too

    some tense misplacements though

    ….and I really don’t understand your point when you mentioned the tongue’s power ….she only spoke the dirts be washed away not for her pot of moi-moi to get missing…. how did a pig pot of moi-moi turn to a bag of dirt? ..this switched me off! it would have been better if you didnt put
    ” …neglecting the fact that power lies in the tongue”

    well done anyway…

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting. I will make the necessary corrections.

  5. Poor moimoi seller, poor hungry girl, poor moimoi.
    While I get what you mean by ‘power lies in the tongue’, I don’t think it’s possible for a Huge pot of moimoi to just tip over. The weight of the pot and its content are enough to hold it down against the rain(not storm). Unless it’s being made into something supernatural.
    Well done, Borry.

    1. @sibbylwhyte. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  6. Bibbie (@Bibbie)

    Funny. Maybe a sort of strange spirit was passing and erroneously thought the pot of moin-moin contained ‘idoti’…
    well done!

    1. @bibbie. Maybe. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  7. Levuz (@Levuz)

    Very funny story . . . Funny and short, I think it was too short, i wanted more things to happen, you still had words at your disposal, why not use them. This is not waec, limited to 450 words naw. Telling us about how she (the seller) tried rescuing her smeared moi moi back into the pot for reselling would get us laughing face red. Abi bawo?

    1. @Levuz. Lol.Thanks for read[ng

  8. Dimeji (@pencilon)

    Nice is all.
    You wrote that “stress” lines were visible on your face. I think those should be “tension” lines, and I don’t think you can see them on your own face except you look through the mirror…

    1. @pencilon. Thanks for the correction.

  9. Nalongo (@Nalongo)

    Poor woman.

    1. @Nalongo. Thanks for reading.

  10. Emmanuel (@Emmanuelpro)

    Nice story, @Borry.
    I really felt sorry for the woman, although, I’m kinda still doubtful: How did a huge pot, all a sudden, find itself inside the drainage?

  11. Emmanuel (@Emmanuelpro)

    Nice story, @Borry.
    I really felt sorry for the woman, although, I’m kinda still doubtful: How did a huge pot, all of a sudden, find itself inside the drainage?

    1. @Emmanuelpro. I was surprised too. Maybe a strange force was at work. Thanks for commenting.

  12. bunmiril (@bunmiril)

    Interesting story.
    But as for the pot of moi-moi falling into the drainage….

    1. @bunmiril. The pot of moi moi did fall into the gutter. Thanks for readn and commenting.

  13. Hmm…
    Nice attempt
    Some tense mix ups…noted by previous comments
    Talking about stress lines on your face…when not looking into the mirror!
    Attempt at a twist was poorly executed…you could have said the woman slipped and in trying to maintain her balance, she tipped the pot into the gutter…that would be more plausible…
    Well done

  14. well-rendered

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