Ajebota Returnee

NYSC-National-Youth-Service-Corpers-Nigeria

 

Titi stared at the bucket. It lay half-submerged in water, floating in the well. She could almost hear it taunting her, daring her to come after it. But, whatever the bucket was saying was drowned out by the voices of the other corpers behind her. One by one, their voices floated to her, slapping the back of her head like brazen accusations.

“Ehen! God don catch her today. Ajebo wey no sabi fetch water. You see am?” said one girl.

Another girl said: “We shall see o, we shall see. Whether na Obama you go call, make he comot your bucket from inside well.”

Her friend replied: “Don’t worry.  She will soon join the bucket.”

And yet a fourth girl said: “Upon all your shakara and all de foh-neh, you can’t handle a bucket? Americana, welcome o!”

Titi shook her head sadly, and made her way past her accusers. She walked past the ones who opened their mouths and the ones who judged her with their eyes.  The silent critics.

These people don’t know me …

She headed straight to the makeshift boys’ hostel, where male corpers lived.

After asking around for the one person she knew could help, she found him. He was bare-chested and clad in shorts, with a towel hanging loosely from his neck.

“Hey Titi. What’s up?”

“Charles, no wahala. I just need to ask a favor: Where can I find a gala-gala*?”

Note: Gala-gala is (1) a curious invention with multiple hooks, used to retrieve buckets and other fallen objects from wells; (2) something only an ajepaki/ajepako would know.




32 thoughts on “Ajebota Returnee” by Sharon Salu (@SharonWrites)

  1. loools….really this is funny…. correct yourbas will get this better

    I once heard the story of an ‘ajebo’ lady who claimed she doesn’t eat “eba” or any other local food when she was offered one ….and the next thing …she started vomiting …. throwing up strong boluses of “eba”

    well done jare Sharon.

    1. @Omoniyi : I hope even non-Yorubas get it too. I think most people know what an ajebota/ajebutter is.

      As for the lady … ewwwww! See forming! She might have ate it for three meals straight. *smh*

      Thanks!

  2. O-Money (@Omoniyi-Adeshola)

    @sharonwrites, very good stuff, loved how you took a slice of a moment and made it flash fiction. And the subtle irony you painted, just good. Well done, lady.

    1. @Omoniyi-Adeshola : Yes, it was a “slice” of a moment, like you said. Glad you liked it.

  3. Nice flash fiction.

    Gala-gala…..I know it very well o. Ooops!

    1. @namdi : Lol! I know what it is too. Very well. I wonder what that makes me? Thanks for reading. :-)

  4. Hahaha nice one…

    Ahhh memories….mehn i miss those days of fetching water ehn..

    1. @schatzilein : Ahh … me, I don’t miss those days o. Tap water for me, any day. Thanks for reading. :-)

  5. @SharonWrites

    Hahahaha! Hilarious scenario.

    So all those mumu corpers were judging her to be an ajebota…I knew it was going to end with a twist…I just wished the twist was a stronger and more obvious one.

    Nice story. Like it…but I think the end can be better crafted.

    1. @Afronuts : Yes, she was not an ajebota at all! As per your observation, I suppose I could have added some extra lines so it didn’t end with the gala-gala, but that was as far as I could see when I wrote this. Thanks for the critique.

  6. Funny. I was smiling all through.

    Your ending wasn’t solid joor. Even the note at the end didn’t help your cause. You could have ended it like

    ”The dude looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face. ” Gala gala?”

    She made a trident with three fingers bent in a clawlike shape. ” My bucket fell into the well.”

    All the same, I enjoyed this. No issh in the writing. Madam Sharon don upgrade. Lol

    1. @Hymar : Lol @ upgrading. I’m still practicing o. Meanwhile, your alternative ending was emmm … interesting. Here’s my continuation:

      “Who needs a gala gala when you have …” tears his shirt to reveal a red and blue body suit with a cape, suspiciously similar to a popular superhero, “Super Corper.”

      He ran … no flew to the well, dived to the bottom, and returned with a bucket in his hand. As he handed it to a bewildered Titi, she whispered:

      “Thank you.”

      “All in a day’s work!” he answered and then flew to the next camp.

      I’m not sure @Afronuts or @TolaO would have liked that ending though. :D

      1. @SharonWrites

        Ehn? You’re joking right?

        This your suggested alternate ending…e be like say you’ve been watching too many super hero movies oh!

  7. What I didn’t get in this story was what exactly the MC was trying to do, @sharonwrites.

    You portrayed her as sad, thinking that these people didn’t know her, but what did she expect if she had been projecting the persona of someone who had been abroad?

    I think the most realistic reaction of the MC in the scene you painted would have been embarassment, rather than sadness.

    1. Ha! I forgot to mention that too. @TolaO is right. Though I got to understand because of the description you gave at the end but some other readers may not know.

      1. @Afronuts : The description was an afterthought. It would have been more effective if I had woven it into the story itself.

    2. @TolaO : It is clear from your comments and @Hymar and @Afronuts too that I left out a lot of important details in this story. Even though it was flash, I did not flesh it out properly. Thanks for the corrections.

      1. @SharonWrites

        You can only get better!

  8. I like the story.

    1. @Nalongo : Thank you! I’m glad you liked it.

  9. Hmmmmmn. I really love this. I knw what galagala mean well well

    1. @Ajenifuja-Adetokunbo : Haha! Me too. I’ve used it too. Glad you loved it.

  10. nice creation…but you should ended it as sharply as you started it….

    1. @silvanus : That seems to be what a few people have said. Point noted. Thanks.

  11. @Sharon well done my sister, very hilarious. I remember the days of fetching water from the well, I am not sure we used gala-gala to get bucket, I think we used some metal stuff or regular long wood with nails to retrieve the bucket when it fell in the well.Thanks for information.

    1. @Blackgold : I’m glad you found it hilarious! But, honestly I have only heard of gala-gala. This metal/wood thing you mentioned is news to me. As long as it does the job, no worries, ba? You’re welcome!

  12. Thanks for the information.

    1. @Blackgold : You’re welcome!

  13. Hmm..”gala-gala” it’s been a while I heard that word…(I’m now a self made ajebo…lol)

    I totally share @TolaO‘s sentiments…

    Well done

    1. @topazo : Lol @ self-made ajebo … as opposed to??? @TolaO ‘s points are noted. Thanks!

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