Error Call

Error Call

Error Call

BEEP… BEEP…BEEP ERROR CALL

I looked at the number one more time as I clicked on the send button, watching the screen on my phone as the call connected.

Strange things sure do happen, I echoed to myself. I just couldn’t believe that the same ‘chick’ who wouldn’t give a hoot about me just wouldn’t stop laughing and telling me how funny she thinks I was or rather ‘Jide’ was.

I know you’re probably asking yourself, ‘what the f…is he talking about?’

I’ll tell you the story…

My name’s Frank and I ‘m talking about a friend in church who I recently began to take a more solid interest in, somehow it just didn’t click as she went from friendly to cold when we had a little misunderstanding…(wouldn’t want to bore you with all the details) but I think frankly, she considered me a bit boring.

Alone by myself one Friday evening…I had one of my numerous naughty ideas and before I could think it through I had dialed the number.

‘Hello, em.. What’s up, it’s Jide,’ I muttered into the receiver.

‘Yes?’ Isoken replied

I could sense caution in her voice…after what seemed like a moment of blurps, the difficult part was over. I had convinced her that it was an error call and somehow had begun a conversation as Jide.

She didn’t recognize my voice and believe me, it was fun. I carved out a new personality as Jide and she was buying all of it. ‘Kiss me,’ I said only a week later.

‘Kiss you?’ she replied giggling, ‘how do I do that?’ she asked.

‘Just send it down I’ll get it,’ I whispered sounding as mushy as I could.

Mwah! I heard the smack of her lips on the other end.

‘What are you wearing?’ I asked in as much of a whisper as I could.

‘Why do you want to know?’ she replied a bit coarsely.

‘Sorry,’ I said hitting a rebound. ‘I was just trying to paint a picture of you on the canvas of my mind.’

‘Okay…’

‘So?’

‘Em…I’m in my night clothes,’ she cooed

‘Hmmm…you bringing sexy back…’ I hummed a line of Timberlake’s hit.

All I could hear from the other end was some stifled giggles.

‘Care to dance?’ I asked still flirting

‘How would you do that?’ she replied

‘Trust me my lady,’ I replied, putting on my charms.

‘Okay…’

The game went on and on into the recesses of the night, and all the while I could tell she was falling for this unknown Prince who was living in a city different from hers.

As Frank I stopped calling Isoken on the phone as it had come to a point where she could decipher Jide’s voice on the phone. It would not take so much brain to tell it was the same voice speaking.

‘Jide, don’t tell me you’re not coming to Lagos for my birthday,’ she queried

‘Em…seriously I would love to but the truth is, that is the period when ‘busy’ begins in my office.’

‘Do you realize we’ve not seen ourselves?’ she asked

‘Hmm,’ I grunted in reply

‘And you’re so okay with that?’ she probed further

‘It’s not like that sweet but the truth is…’

‘The truth Jide is that, you’re coming down for my birthday or you cease to call my number.’ She said with a note of finality clearly registered in her voice.

‘Yes ma’am,’ I replied

‘That’s your business sir,’ she replied sarcastically

‘Baby, what is this?’ I asked, feigning surprise at her outburst. ‘This is a little misunderstanding we can solve’.

There was that familiar silence and then I buckled…’okay I’m coming down’

‘Even if you don’t come…,’ she said still showing her displeasure at what she called my ‘shakara’.

Her birthday is next week and here I am with thoughts whizzing past the corners of my mind in supersonic speed… different thoughts that is.

Watching her display pieces of our discussion on her Facebook page and openly declare that she’s in love amazes me. Yes, she’s so bold cos’ she doesn’t think Jide has access to her Facebook wall. And hearing her anxiously expect someone she has not seen so excitedly is fun. The real fun to me however is that she doesn’t even know Jide is close-by watching how she’s squealing around on her page about how she’s found love.

Now I’m like what do I do?

She likes me as Jide, which is obvious but she can’t stand me as Frank…at least that’s what she displays, but her Jide is hid in my Frank. And for Jide to be on that date next week he has to go in Frank’s body but wait a minute before you go telling yourself that I’m a two faced punk, did I tell you that Frank knows Isoken as the ‘Holy sister Isoken’ while Jide knows Isoken as a naughty adventurous chick?…meaning Isoken too is somewhat of a two faced b…..ch.

Folks talk to your boy, what should I do?



16 thoughts on “Error Call” by Dee's hive (@dees-hive)

  1. Jide abi shey na frank b ogbonge for phone ooo….

    this is really good, well written and presented….errmm but

    is it that ‘Holy sister Isoken’ lacked human brain in her skull that she couldn’t recognize frank’s voice at a go….. ….you didn’t mention Jide tunned his voice… so how?….really, for me its fake …I can place any voice on phone so far we have spoken before….all normal humans should be able to…. …I can try even if you tune the voice….. because of this fault m giving a C.
    Well done

    and for what you should do….see me later….v got some voodoo that can make you transform urself at will…you can turn to Jide, Frank, or even to Isoken herself if you wish….so cheers!

    1. @Omoniyi, thanks for the ‘C’, quite a generous score, *smiles* Ermm…about recognising a voice over the phone, not everyone is really as gifted as you are Sir, and the piece recognised that fact, when it stated that ‘she did not recognise my voice…’ Lessons noted on this journey to improvement.Thanks for stopping by.

  2. I also had this voice problem in one of my stories, and what I jus did was to give my character cold. That changed the voice……. Try that, maybe it can work for you.

    And on what to do……. Declare yourself……… Malcom X style….

    *KG*

    1. @kodeya, thanks for the tip. I’ll tell Jide, sorry Frank *smiles* that you asked him to declare himself. Thanks for stopping by

  3. Am loving this but its so annoying that a lot of people fall for this error call ish.
    Its beta u confeSs ur sins to Holy Sister Isoken, just hope she doesn’t break ur head in the process.

    1. @aadetoyin for Frank’s sake, I sincerely hope his head is not broken. I’m sure we’ll find that out soon enough. Thanks for stopping by

  4. Lol…. You never see anything, I’m so good at changing my voice, I’ve played this trick on sooooo many girls since i started using phone, even played one on my mum, it wasn’t funny tho…

    1. @clemency, I think you have a ‘Jide’ in you *winks* I actually think its not so straightforward for everyone, recognising voices over the phone except a call buddie. But many peeps are also very gifted at picking voices. Thanks for stopping by.

    1. @kaycee, thanks a bunch. I appreciate your stopping by

  5. not bad, i guess too.
    nice writing

    1. @Fadehan, thanks for stopping by…appreciated

  6. Interesting, I found myself overlooking the isshes I encountered as I read. I guess no matter how fake it sounds, weird things do happen.

    Time to visit the ‘bless me father, I have sinned’ place. Lol

    1. @Hymar, i’m not so new here anymore but i’m still new. However in that short period – i’ve seen enough to know that you’re one of the bad ass critics on this platform but somehow i wonder why you don’t go hard on my ‘joints’. i’m still on my lazy mode and if i get these kind of flattering remarks for such efforts, i might remain on lazy mode for a while. please i want to grow – don’t overlook any ‘ishes’. GO REAL HARD!
      thanks for stopping by…appreciated. plus for whether it sounds fake or not…reality is many times stranger than fiction…@clemency can attest to that fact.

  7. Lols, now that yhu have given me carte blanche, I will keep a sharp eye out for your subsequent submissions.

    1. @Hymar…*winks* i’ll always remember i asked for it…lets see how HARD your punch can be…(thanks again and have a great day)

Leave a Reply