A Shadow from the Past 12

I held on to TJ.
“TJ please help me! He has a gun! Take me away from here!”
“What is it, Mabel?” he asked with a puzzled frown on his face.
“Her brother was killed and she is having a hard time accepting it. She doesn’t want me to take her home to her parents in Lagos,” said Sam smoothly from behind me.
“Please don’t listen to him. Just take me away from him,” I begged.
This was my only chance at getting help because the area is usually a place where you rarely saw people walking on the streets. If you know University of Ibadan campus well, you will know the area around Oba Dam. There are no hostels there except private residences for university staff. Some of them rent their quarters out to students but they are few.
I saw TJ and Sam exchange that look that guys give each other when one of them wants to ask another about what’s wrong with his girlfriend.
One of TJ’s friends looked familiar to me and I tried to look pleadingly at him too.
“Guy make we help the babe na,” I heard him tell TJ in pidgin English.

Then they looked back at Sam. I looked too. Sam had this no nonsense look that seemed to say “Don’t meddle in me and my babe’s business.”
Then I heard TJ whisper something like “I no wan put myself for wetin no concern me. Una know about Sam for this university na.”
“Na true o,” the third guy said.
I saw my hope slipping away.
“What do you know about him?! Please don’t leave me here with him! Help me!” I held on to TJ’s shirt.
“Babe please let’s go to Lagos. It will be fine,” Sam said gently.
“Sorry Mabel. Both of you should settle your quarrel with each other. I need to go. I am really sorry about your brother but please pull yourself together and let him take you home,” TJ hugged me quickly and started walking away.
I nearly went mad. I realized that he didn’t believe me. I became hysterical and held on to his shirt but he snatched it from my hands and walked away.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he left.
I froze for a few seconds in disbelief then I started running after him but Sam was immediately behind me. He clamped his hands on my arm.
He held me close and whispered:
“Don’t make this more difficult. Just get into d car. I am doing this for your own good.”
My own good?! He just put a gun to my head a few moments ago! I glanced at d street; I looked left and right and as far as possible but I saw no one.
I had no choice but to follow. Besides, Sam still had his gun.

TONY
Afternoon of same day

I tried to watch a home video on the television in my room but my mind was drifting here and there so I switched it off. I was expecting Frank to visit.
I and Frank go way back but we weren’t as close to each other as now. We went to the same high school and everyone drifted apart until we met again at UI.
I went to a polytechnic after high school and earned an Ordinary National Diploma in mass communication. Then I was able to get a direct entry level admission into UI.
His father is a retired army colonel in the army but he had many wives and numerous children.
Frank spent his time traveling around to his numerous siblings, making money and writing UME every year until he was admitted into UI.  He also seemed to have inherited his father’s love for women.
My mind went to Mabel. I miss her terribly. She sometimes reminds me of my mom. I am her youngest child among three children and we were really close.

My mom died of cancer at a time when things were getting better in my family: my oldest sister had just delivered her first baby and my second sister was planning her wedding while I had just gained admission. Also, my father who had run off with a young woman when I was 12 had just reconciled with my mother.  She was strong until the very end.

Mabel had my mother’s complexion – they were both of the fairest skin complexions a black person can ever be (without bleaching or being an albino of course).
A knock at the door brought me out of my reverie. That must be Frank, I thought.
I was surprised when I opened the door and it wasn’t Frank. It was Laura, Mabel’s roommate.



26 thoughts on “A Shadow from the Past 12” by faithomo (@faithomo)

  1. Hmm, Mabel don enteram. Ma, you sure do know how to write and also to hold a quick pace.
    Note: where Tony said he’s her youngest child, it sounded like he’s Mabel’s youngest child.
    Well done.

  2. You are definitely improving. Keep things tighter and I can c u are not doing a bad job of following the footsteps of @mimiadebayo on the suspense thingy.

    Next one.

  3. That part where she begs those guys for help and is told to go with Sam reminds of the story of Oliver Twist.
    Well done, Faith.

  4. Good story…will go ahead to read d rest. Kudos

  5. I don’t remember reading the earlier episodes, but this is good.

  6. @faithomo, well done. This is well written, and straight to the point.

  7. @Faithomo, well done. A story that is well told and straight to the point.

  8. @psalmy Thanks. I will work on that. I appreciate your comments

  9. Thanks. Am flattered @Hymar

  10. I am glad you like it. Thanks @Nalongo

  11. Thanks for always following and commenting. I am honoured @sibbylwhyte

  12. Thanks. I am happy to hear that. I hope to send in the next episode soon. @chymdiinma

  13. Thanks. I am flattered. I hope you will read the earlier ones and please do comment and tell me what you think @vincentdepaul

  14. Yes poor girl. I want to appreciate you for always following my stories up. Thanks @schatzilein

    1. My dear you are always welcome..

  15. Thanks. I am happy you think it is good @LEROY

  16. The series is going good @faithomo.
    I hope Mabel learns from this experience.

  17. Thanks. I hope so too. Maybe she will @olajumoke

  18. That’s a sad turn of events for Mabel, @faithomo. Let’s see what happens.

    It’s odd that you switched to a first person POV for Tony, especially because you had up to this point consistently told the story from the POV of Mabel.

    Well done.

  19. Thanks @TolaO. I thought I needed to switch for the reader to understand what is going on with Tony and how his actions and that of others may affect Mabel.

  20. Nice as usual…
    @TolaO has echoed my thoughts.
    We have always seen tony through mabel’s POV, to suddenly switch in the middle is a technical blunder. One of the restrictions of the writing from the MC POV is that we are not allowed to know things about the other character that the MC doesn’t know. So we shouldn’t know things about Tony except Mabel tells us…

    Probably an omniscient narrative will work better if you want to involve other characters into your plot….but that would mean re writing the whole series

    Using this POV, you can still show us about Tony. But it would be a dialogue or a flashback of what Tony had told Mabel before.

    I am guessing you are trying to write a rescue scenario for Mabel. We can still know about this later. After he has rescued her, then he would tell her how he got to know about her predicament…that way the consistency of the narrative will be maintained.

    Well done

    1. @topazo I appreciate your reading and commenting. I guess I will just have to cut Tony’s POV out of the story. It seems not to be working

Leave a Reply