Preganant Girlfriends

Mature Content, Strong use of Language

 

Oh my back!!!

God they need to get an elevator in this building, they take the fucking rent from us,

I was coming from my part time from the grocery store and that my damn India boss and racist ass didn’t let me rest for a minutes.

“Oh God fuck me Harder, yes harder, Oh I love u so much”

What the hell, my stupid neighbors always bringing some hoe to his place every day; stupid ass, need to call the manager because he is always disturbing me.

I got to door of my apartment and the moaning and screaming was getting louder, I finally opened the door and I saw a big ass but bouncing on my Dante’s stick

Wat the fuck!!!!

U piece of shit, u fucking up in my crib again; Kristen threw her bag on the floor and started taking her jewelry up

“Am gonna fuck this bitch; the bitch stood up and said “who u gonna fuck Kristen huh”

Alicia u fucking Dante, u know that my man, why did u introduce him to me when u wanted him and u know am pregnant for him; u are a worthless friend, I was so blind; looking at them with disgust. “Really well I had fun with him and then I left him now he is back with me, he is my boo”

Fuck u Alicia; Am done with this shit, I am done with u Dante, I will pick my shit and go.

I went inside crying and pack my stuff, “I really love him, and he broke my Heart again”

Heard some commotion outside, stood up and went to see what happening- saw Dante screaming at a girl saying “am not the owner of that baby” be fucking around too much Brianna; get the fuck out of my house. Alicia stood up this is getting freaky but amah have to tell u Dante that I AM PREGNANT TOO!!!

Kristen came out and said, ‘looks like u have some piece of shit going on’

Alicia, Brianna and Kristen stood there looking at Dante, with his Dick getting soft



11 thoughts on “Preganant Girlfriends” by yinkus (@yinkus101)

  1. This is officially the worst read I have seen in NS in like a year. So many things ticked me off here. The cocky opening censor(we dey kindergarten shea?) , the lack of inverted commas to distinguish characters’ speeches, the overusage of swear words, the disjointed arrythym of this ‘pieces’. Man, I dunno but if you have been eating your school fees, better detest.

    And you tagged this as funny? FTW, the only thing I found funny was you misspelled PREGNANT.

  2. Please what is this?
    I can’t be kind about this… this isn’t creative writing sweetie.
    It’s non-sense!! What were you thinking when you wrote this,pal?

    I couldn’t make out the dialogue. The whole thing was mixed up and yes…I know you warned us about mature content and strong language but seriously!! This isn’t it.
    This made no sense!!

    Your title has a wrong spelling sef. “Preganant ” should be ‘pregnant ”

    Now don’t think we are saying this to spite you.No. It’s so you get better by all means.

    You need to do some serious work on this, better still trash it

    Keep writing, Yinkus.

  3. Total rubbish..coming from somebody who rarely criticize ppl’s work….this should be deleted….sofort!!!

  4. On second thoughts, seeing you are obviously a beginner in every sense of the word, I would advise that you don’t just post stuff anyhow. Remember we gave you some pointers when u were writing The Long Distance Relationship, it is disheartening to see you didn’t put them to work or this would have been better than the previous.

    Anyway, my take is : make friends with a very good writer cum editor, someone that will help you filter your stuff before it comes out to get you some really harsh (and well deserved) flogging.

  5. ah, ah, what happen…………….

    – The strong language was all over the place.
    – It was difficult identifying which character had made a particular comment in the dialogue.
    – I didn’t like the abbreviations.

    Just take correction as regards those areas.

  6. I really think you should go back to the drawing board.

  7. Sooooo confusing. U just packed all the words together. I can’t make anything out of what u wrote.

  8. Reads like a scene transcribed from a foreign movie; I found that funny, and I like the end. Finding out that you got two girls preggers is enough to make a dick rot away.

    The above comments have done the talking. See, yinkus. You need to get your shit together…don’t put up these fucked up things for us to read each time. Get people around to read, before you post. It would be better if you did more of reading than writing at the moment.

    1. One more thing, With close to two hundred views, seems like NSer’s aren’t the only ones reading. If your friends on FB and whatnot, commend your effort with ‘nice’ comments, do your writing a favor and work with the hurting words you have recieved here.

  9. How did this ever get published? @ogaoga, you are not doing your job o. I won’t even comment on the story.

  10. Crikey!!!!! You again!!? Schiess!!
    Upon all the EMULATE, ADAPT & DEPLOY, that I advised you to try out.

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