To a “Spoilt” Night

The night dreads  quiet.
While everything else sleeps
The little lit worms make colours and whispers
that thrills the spoilt night.

The night fears sleep
In its near slumber everything else awakes,
Still bodies as watchers make melodies
that thrills the spoilt night.

The night’s never alone
If everything else malice keep
the wind, trees and moon make gossip.
That thrills the arrogant night

“its been awhile guys, hope you enjoy this” #best read in absolute quiet (at night)



7 thoughts on “To a “Spoilt” Night” by Dasidy (@Dasidy)

  1. I like. Simple.
    Well done. $ß.

  2. Daireen (@daireenonline)

    So you’re saying the night’s an errant? You failed to justify your assertion o.

  3. Huh. You are getting soft abi @Sibbylwhyte.

    Well, my opinion is sometimes the simplicity just needs to be kept as it is….simple. You kinda rambled without giving a clue as to why you said what you said. As in what is your theme. And why?

  4. @hymar. No, I am not, not on this one.
    You see the first line in each stanza is a fear, and subsequent lines overcome it.
    Let’s take verse 3.
    If everything keeps malice(stay silent) which the night hates, then the wind and trees would combine to make noise (the whistling of the wind and tree branches moving in the wind. This noise then would make the night happy. So it is for others. Well, it’s how I understood the poem.

    Dasidy, my suggestion is to remove the adjective and just make the last lines to be, ‘that thrills the night’.
    If you are up for it, I could help with an on the spot edit.

  5. Here is an edit, forgive the assumption that you may want or even like this.

    The night dreads quiet

    while everything else sleeps,

    lit worms make colours and whispers

    that thrill the night.

    The night fears sleep

    In its near slumber everything awakes,

    as owls sing dirges

    that echo in the night.

    The night’s never alone

    If everything malice keep
    s,

    the wind and trees make melodies

    that soothe the night.

  6. A little tweaking and this will shine…

  7. Simplicity is the strength of this poem.

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