The Original Orange

The Original Orange

The proud but always smiling badger stared at the yellow orange with much curiosity. His white and black fur shone as the sun stood in the sky without fear. He wondered why this orange was so yellow. Every orange he had seen before were not as yellow as this one. Mr. Blind Hedge-Hog had told him that the yellow orange was a sign of doom.

“Foolish Hedge-hog, he doesn’t know anything,” the Badger thought.

Doom only came to people who wished for it. You get what you wish for. He hated people who were always negative, for example, the always drunk pink Squirrel was always having trouble because of his constant negativity.

For all this smiling Badger knew, this yellow orange was a sign of good times. The smiling badger knew he had to stop Mr. Blind Hedge-Hog from spreading more lies about the yellow orange, so he decided that he would go up to Mr. Blind Hedge-Hog’s house and confront him.

Knock! Knock!!

“Who is it, is that you Mr. Yellow Squirrel?” Mr. Blind Hedge-Hog asked with much curiosity.

“No! It’s Mr. Smiling Badger.”

“Oh you, I really would like if you could stop smiling”

“I can’t, I am the smiling badger.”

“I know but your smile is just borderline plain ridiculous,” shouted the hedge-hog.

“You see its hedge-hogs like you that continue to piss off the humans.”

“How do those always angry humans relate to me not liking your smile? You know Mr. Smiling Badger sometimes I don’t believe I know you”

“Typical of Mr. Blind Hedge-hog, you always keep quoting annoying irrelevant references. You watch too much of those human television shows.”

“Shut up, just shut up, you know nothing. You know nothing about anything with your sassy looking face.”

Oh for the love of my father’s smile, are you Hedge-hogs ever serious?”

“Hmm, you know that’s a very difficult question, but be rest assured that the yellow orange will answer your question, with doom of course.”

“Stop speaking such blasphemy, the yellow orange will bring peace and harmony.”

“No, you are wrong my friend, the yellow orange will kill us, except me off course and maybe my wife.”

“Alright I can’t take this anymore, open this door at once, you spiny little mammal.”

“Oh wow, you know, all this time we both were engaging in this heated debate over a yellow orange, I honestly honestly! Forgot you were still at my front door.”

“That’s it, I’m going home, I hope you Hedge-hogs turn into zombies and kill each other.”

“Now that’ll be cool, like I’ll just freak the living nut out of Mr. Yellow Squirrel”

“By the way please extend my greetings to Mrs. Smiling Badger for me, I miss her sassiness.”

“Mr. Smiling Badger, are you there?”

“Well well, I guess he went away”

“And I was just about to open the door.”

“Oh Life, we hedgehogs are just beautiful and misunderstood.”

16 thoughts on “The Original Orange” by Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

  1. Hehehehe.
    I found this funny because I could just imagine this story/play in one of them cartoons. Hedgehog and badger on opposite sides of the door arguing. Funny. well done, Uyi. $ß.

    1. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi) for reading. Always appreciated

  2. This is clearly meant to be a story for children.It is nice but one thing is clearly missing and it is the theme.@wordsfromuyi.

    1. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

      @khadijahmuhammad thanks for reading. I feel the theme is evident though not clear -as par children’s story. Anyways, the theme hits its strides on the later parts. Glad you stopped by

  3. I quite agree with khadijahmuhammad but I also found it funny like sibbly.
    Nice piece!

    1. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

      @Jadesola I appreciate you reading this,even going further to comment. Thanks

  4. I liked the story up to the point where the dialog began, @wordsfromuyi.

    1. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

      @TolaO hmmm to me, the dialog is the meat of this piece. But to each his own which I respect. Thanks for stopping by. Much appreicated.

      1. Out of curiosity, @wordsfromuyi, what ideas and thoughts were you trying to convey in the dialogue?

        1. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

          @TolaO Mostly how absurd these two characters are. For example, how does the blind hedgehog know that the badger is always smiling? Nothing deep or heavy, just plain black comedy when these two interact.

  5. You could be a good children’s writer, try it, it’s lucrative

    1. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

      @elovepoetry, lol i have thought about it. But right now, I’m still trying to bring out that first full novel. Thanks for stopping by.

  6. Funny story….

    But I feel except for Nigerians who are familiar with these kind of animals, others would find them quite strange characters.
    The story works very well in a foreign context. It doesn’t have the Naija context within which would make it hard for some to relate with.

    And then don’t take me seriously (got too carried away with the Naija factor of Naija stories) because I can honestly say that you’ve got a creative mind to have created this.

    1. My thoughts, too.

    2. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

      @Afronuts thanks for reading men. Much appreciated. We all have creative minds, we have to, to be good (Or I dare say Great) artists.

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