The – Less Story

The – Less Story

 

The – Less Story

My phone’s keys miss the first letter. I need to send texts.

 

Options?

 

My life hinges on missives I need to send in the next few moments. It is of the highest import; those texts must get to the receivers within the next few hours. Else, I will be the most recent corpse in town. So I sit down, bending my impressive intellect to the issue obstructing me.

 

It is useless trying to phone. I do not possess credit – I hope to utilize the free texts on the HTC device in my possession put there by the network I subscribe to. Motherfucking MTN.

 

So there I sit looking off into the horizon beyond, processing thoughts joined with concepts. Stuck in trouble I need to get out of. Options. Options. Do I possess those?

 

Do I go jogging to my enemies, delivering the missives myself one by one? Do I rest here; holing up for my obviously predestined end? Is there something else?

 

Something to write-off the judgment coming for me?

 

Oh. Forgive me. I see your interest in this…this trouble I keep going on concerning.

 

It interests you; no?

 

I represent the interests of one drug peddler on these streets – representing his interests in the role of delivery boy. I get the bundle, run with it from Ikoyi to the suburbs of Surulere plus environs, get the money. Run with it to the boss on Opebi, then move with cuts off the money for the boss’ soldiers on the lower level of the food string. Sounds simple, no?

 

Well here is the problem.

 

My deliveries work with time. If I do not show up by so-so time, the premise of something out of design occurring is to be concluded upon; therefore one extreme step previously settled on by both groups is to be moved on. By every sign, I do not possess the power I need to get to the first closest delivery point owning to the collection of vehicles between my present position connecting to where I need to be. The congestion is overwhelming to the point I get out of the vehicle to sit on the curb, viewing the beyond horizon.

 

The sunset is stunning.

 

It looks to me like it’s the sun of my life setting. ‘Then the condemned being consumed his concluding dish’ were the words on my mind.

 

But the spirit which keeps men trying in the eye of overwhelming odds stirred to life in me. I will not go down like this; I think to myself. I refuse to.

 

How much more convenient it is; thinking over doing. I smile to myself, but rise from my sitting position. If I must go, then let it be on my feet. Not otherwise.

 

I get to the vehicle, step inside. Gun the engine once more. Suddenly my phone rings.

 

It is the boss. Ignoring protocol.

 

“Problems, boy?” he utters the moment I pick.

 

I become overwhelmed with relief. It is completely unexpected.

 

Therefore I do not get wind of the kill shot. The shot which ends my life.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you’re reading this line right now I need a favor – you probably did not notice that the story did not contain the letter ‘a’, either by itself or in a word. I need you to please help confirm that this assertion is true – that one sneaky ‘a’ did not slip past me; in the body of the story that is.

 

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34 thoughts on “The – Less Story” by Seun-Odukoya (@Seun-Odukoya)

  1. Lol. What an intriguing story, I was looking for lack of “The” and instead it was a lack of a. Well done big bros. Anything that comes from between your fingers is an automatic must-read for me

    1. @Hymar

      I am humbled and privileged that you would want to read everything I write. Thank you so much.

      Bless God.

  2. Nice concept – The A less story. Cool. Not one A got away, Sire. .
    Someone once told me about a novel/piece written without the letter ‘E’.
    I’m sure this must have been a lot of work.
    Story reminds me of Hoag’s ‘Kill the messenger’
    Well done, Seun. $ß.

    1. @sibblywhyte…

      That would be “Gadsby’ by Ernest Vincent Wright. It has fifty thousand (50,000) words without a single ‘e’, and he achieved that by tying down the ‘e’ on his typewriter.

      Imagine that kind of dedication.

      That inspired this – I had to look through over and over again to see if any ‘a’s’ escaped me.

      Thank you so much.

      Bless God.

      1. You know, now that I read your reply, I realised who told me about Gadsby. It was you! The reply was ‘deja-vuic’
        So, Ernest and Seun have done the first two vowels. Who is next? Hehehe.

  3. I love the story and the concept.Everything ends up.I like the ending and the structure.

    1. @khadijahmuhammad

      Thank you so much.

      Bless God.

  4. Sheer mastery, lovely!

    1. @wendeekay

      Thank you so much.

      Bless God!

  5. I just had to read it in one go. Interesting from the first line. I can’t blv you pulled it off without the letter ‘a’. Welldone. I can’t train myself enough not to use the words ‘had’ and ‘was’. So, @Seun-Odukoya, great work, genius.

    1. @olajumoke

      I feel really privileged. Genius? Amen o.

      Thank you so much. Bless God.

  6. An A-less story? Well, you pulled if nicely, the funny thing is, the story is cool. Well done @Seun-Odukoya, I can imagine the effort that went into this.

    1. @isaac82

      Thank you so much.

      Bless God.

  7. I meant you pulled it off nicely

  8. I am not surprised and to have written this without Losing the concept.
    The gods of words(lol) must be smiling at this.

    1. @Jadesola

      Thank you so much! gods of words, huh?

      Bless God.

    1. @elovepoetry

      Thank you. Bless God!

  9. This one na new standard fa! Keep erecting them boss but don’t make it too high for us sha…

    1. @francis

      Haba. We all dey do our part ni o. Thank you so much!

      Bless God.

  10. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

    Nice read. Difficult concept to execute but you hit the bullet straight on.

    1. @wordsfromuyi

      I’m glad you think so.

      Thank you. Bless God.

  11. oga at the top! not one ‘a’ slipped you by…this was real good. I want to be like you when I grow up…

    1. @topazo

      Na people like you dey encourage suicide. Wan be like me?!

      See ya head!

      Hehehehehehehehe. Thank you. Bless God.

  12. lol…I know where I saw this one before.

    It really must have been one heck of a work working round avoiding the use of ‘a’ throughout.

    You try no be small

    1. @Afronuts

      Thank you so much!

      Bless God.

  13. Bros! You know my thoughts on this already…

    Really cool. A friend heard about this and threw me a challenge. Will I take it? No? Maybe. We shall see. Hehehehehe

    1. @banky

      Yeah I do. Thank you so much.

      I’d like to hear the challenge. More importantly, I’d like to read what you come up with.

      You know you’re a genius, right?

      Bless God.

      1. Bros,

        Genius ke? Don’t start jo. But i’ll definitely take it up. I love challenges and yes, you’d definitely read it.

        We dey bro…

        1. @banky

          That we are. Most def.

  14. Beautiful, perhaps the most interesting story I’ve read on NS this year.

    Different in concept and execution. A well crafted challenge..

    And I love challenges, another way to broaden my telling abilities. I shall try a hand at this.

    Well done

    1. @funpen

      Thank you so much. Yeah?

      You should definitely take that up. Share what you come up with – please?

      Thank you. Bless God.

  15. a mesmerizing work @Seun-Odukoya

    1. Thank you.

      Bless God.

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