Betrayals and Funerals – 1

KEMI

I found myself staring at the knife again. It shone to the extent that I could see my reflection in it; only it wasn’t my reflection I saw but hers.
Shirley.
The tears came again.
Everything reminded me of her.
Everywhere I looked, I saw her.
Her cute smile and her shiny little teeth…
Her eyes that twinkled like stars.
Her contagious personality…
Every child I saw made me think of the one I had lost.
Sometimes, I got home expecting to see her in our bed; using my make-up as usual, or cradled in the hands of her father. Each time I had to remind myself that she was gone forever.
And the pain never lessened. I could hardly be around kids now. In fact, I had become a recluse; a shadow of my fvormer self.
My home was empty. She was gone. And so was he.
I needed Mo now more than ever, but I had pushed him away.
Mo; my husband…the only one who truly understood the pain I was going through. The only one I wanted to be with right now, but couldn’t.
I was bitter.
I needed comfort. Shirley had died exactly seven weeks ago; we had buried her a week later. I could barely recall what had gone on during the funeral because I had been high on amphetamines.
Yes, there had been friends, family and well-wishers. All of them spitting their jargon about God giving and taking…none of them understood what real pain was. Shirley had been just seven years, an active and beautiful child, why would God take her away from me…from us?
Within the first few days of losing Shirley, I sat and stared in space. I ignored my husband, friends and everything around me. I could sit and stare for hours at a stretch, our home became a refuse dump and I hardly ate, bathed or even spoke.
She had been my only child, the next best thing in my life. She gave me joy. I had given up my career for her and had never regretted it one day.
What was life going to be like without her, brightening our home with giggling and laughter?
Mo had moved out a week ago at my request. I still don’t know why I did that but I had. I can recall vividly how our conversation went:
“Why are you doing this, Kemi?” He had asked. It was one of those days I woke up after dreaming of Shirley. It was past noon; I hadn’t had breakfast or had my bath.
“You want to die with her?” he continued.
I looked at him warily; “That’s not such a bad idea.”
“Then what happens to the rest of us that love you?”
“You weren’t there when we needed you. Why are you here now?” I spat at him with venom.
I watched him bow his head and I immediately regretted what I had said. He had been working and couldn’t make it in time to say good-bye to her.
“I’m sorry.” I said softly.
He looked up at me. There were tears in his eyes.
“You want to hurt me, don’t you?” He asked. “You think I don’t miss her?”
“I’m sorry.” I whispered again. I wanted to go to him but I couldn’t. I hadn’t saved myself yet, how could I save him?
My heart broke as I saw the tears pouring down his face. I knew there was no man that loved his daughter better than my husband did. Shirley had been Daddy’s girl.
“I can’t do this.” His body racked with sobs.
I didn’t understand him.
“You can’t forgive me because I wasn’t there for her.” It was a statement.
I didn’t reply. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t because I had woken up crying so I was out of tears for the day.
“What do you want me to do?” He asked.
The answer came without effort. “Leave.” I said.
He stared at me. “I need you now more than ever, Kems. We need to stay together.”
“I’m only going to keep hurting you.” I said. “I need to grieve alone for now.”
“Or you need to decide whether or not to join Shirley.” He said.
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“I won’t leave you alone. You’re not safe.”
My caring husband.
“I’ll be fine.” I said.
“No. If I leave, I?’ll ask my mum to come and stay with you.”
I shook my head.
The thought of my mother-in-law coming to stay with me would drive me to suicide quicker than before.
So, that was a week ago. Mo left with a few of his belongings but made sure to ask Cordelia my best friend to check up on me every day.
Here I am, staring at a knife on the kitchen sink, missing my family so acutely that I’m considering suicide.
I reach for the knife and then I hear it…



38 thoughts on “Betrayals and Funerals – 1” by Mimiadebayo (@Mimiadebayo)

  1. another series by NS queen of suspense. nice start, great suspense…. this looked hurriedly posted, lots of typos, poor paragraphing and formatting, that removed from the overall enjoyment. im sure the next installment will be better. now i have something to look forward to reading on NS….so dont take too long in posting any of the episodes….
    well done

  2. @topazo I actually missed hearing from you.
    Yes,it was hurriedly posted but I read it over like three times and even gave to a friend to read and edit where necessary,so I’m wondering how come the typos weren’t spotted.
    Will do better next time.
    Thank you so much!

  3. Aaaahh Minz good to have u back…finally another blockbuster from you

    Its not alwys plesnt when u loose someone u love but taking out ur frustrtion on others aint sweet too…pooor husbnd of hers

  4. @schatzilein Its a pleasure to have you on board again.Stay tuned for the ride.
    I agree with you,we shouldn’t take out our frustration on others esp.those suffering same with us.
    Thanks for reading!

  5. Yay! She’s back. Just a few typos and paragraphing issues. I’m so ready to start this ride. Lol. Make she sha no kill herself O.

  6. @Olan Yay! Am back for good,I hope. You know I actually thought writing without paragraphs was a style and I decided to try it out. Guess it doesn’t work for me.
    Thanks for reading and commenting!

  7. Yay! Gud 2 have sometin intriguing 2 read 4rm u again.I wont go over d typos n paragraphes issues wit u cos dey’ve been mentioned.However,its gud 2 have u back.Sweet;)

  8. Bola (@basittjamiu)

    Yeah! Yeah! onto the next post, be fast please.
    I think Mo shoudn’t have gone, he should have stayed and talk her on.
    @mimiadebayo Nice $unspence.
    weldone.

  9. @jade69 Thank you dear. I’ll try not to disappoint. Thanks a bunch for reading and dropping a comment.

  10. @basittjamiu Thanks for stopping by and dropping a comment. I appreciate. Next post coming soon.
    I guess Mo had to obey her wishes,afterall she was a grieving mother.

  11. @Mimiadebayo, madam of suspense, good to have you back. You engage your readers so well and you make them care so well about your characters that they forget it’s fiction. This is what I love about your writing and in the first installment of Betrayals and Funerals, it is evident you care about your characters.

    I like the line formatting because I guess you are going for that type of first person pov where you hear the narrator completely not the writer. I think that works well here because of the type of story it is. You capture the main character’s feelings better that way. I have seen short stories in the past like these without paragraphs (but in flash fiction not sure about series or long shorts). I think it works here and you can count on me to be following the series. As a matter of fact, can’t wait for the next part. Welldone

  12. @olajumoke Thanks so much dear for your comments and compliments. They are well appreciated,they made me smile.
    I’m glad you understand the writing style.
    Thanks,once again!

  13. @mimiadebayo, this was sad and touching in ways that I can’t easily describe. You did a wonderful job of Caprivi the grief and loss of the MC.

    Even if you choose never to continue with this series, you’ve done enough to earn 20 points from me.

    Well done.

    1. I meant capturing, but my phone wrote Caprivi. :)

  14. Wow! I’m speechless sir. It was that good?! Thank you! Thank you! Gracias! Merci!
    You just made my day better! @TolaO

  15. You made it easy to empathize with Kemi and Mo. Good job :).
    Looking forward to the next part.

  16. @Olaedo Thank you for reading,ma’m. I appreciate.

  17. @Mimi Adebayo writing on Pain and bereavement, a part of life very few understand and can help with. Let the party begin, I have my invite.

  18. She won’t put the knife in, of that I am sure. I understand why she wants to grieve alone, but it’s selfish what she’s done to Mo and that’s a real reaction to that kind of loss.
    The last line ensures that I’ll read the next. So, bring it on.
    The ‘errors’ have been highlighted.
    Well done, mimi. $ß.

  19. @LEROY Yes indeed.Few understand pain unless they’ve been through it.
    Stay on for the ride. Thank you so very much for reading!

  20. @sibbylwhyte Thank you so much for your gracious comment. It feels good to know that you’ll read the next. I’m real glad I captured the emotions.
    Keep your fingers crossed.

  21. this is a cliff-hanger, waiting for more, pliz

  22. @vincentdepaul Thanks for stopping by. Next part coming up soon. Stay tuned.

  23. always on top of ur game mimi. I will just seat back and enjoy myself with this upcoming series.

  24. Thanks a bunch@NIRA-SLYVES. Enjoy yourself!

  25. Hmmmm…this is nice. I so loved the cliff hanger. I connected with the sorrow of the MC and her husband, especially he standing before her, tears streaming down. You have started really well. Sustain the tempo.

    Still, I should suggest some things. Try to avoid some cliched expressions like ‘Her eyes that twinkled like stars.’ Think something fresher. I think you should space the dialogues as is the usual practice, for better reading.

    Looking forward to the other parts. Well done.

  26. @chemokopi I’m honoured kind sir. Thank you for taking out time to read and comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  27. This is some really dope stuff, very good ma’am….The typos can easily be edited out but the quality of plot and style cannot be easily copied…The quality of this is great. my fave part is this:

    “Yes, there had been friends, family and well-wishers. All of them spitting their jargon about God giving and taking…none of them understood what real pain was. Shirley had been just seven years, an active and beautiful child, why would God take her away from me…from us?”

    Those lines just were like gems that perfectly described how deep her grief was. When it someone starts questioning basic existential facts, then no doubt things are out of kilter.

    This work quietly tells of your spectacular ability at writing, the exactness with which you handle mood, emotions and a characters thoughts.

    Don’t know if you have heard of the ‘stream-of-consciousness’ technique but it might just fit the purposes you are trying to achieve here.

  28. @ayomitans I wish you know how good it felt for me to read your comment! It was like someone poured a cool drink down my throat. *blowing a kiss* Hehehe…Thank you so very much for taking out time to read and comment.
    I do appreciate.
    I hope not to disappoint you in coming installments.
    Keep reading…

  29. @ayomitans P.S I’ll read up on the stream-of-consciousness technique. Thanks a bunch!

  30. mendel martha (@ihenyengladysusile)

    well, suicide should not be your last resort,because life goes on and i love the suspense at the end.

  31. Thank you @ihenyengladysusile I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  32. I hope the next instalment won’t make me cry like this one.

    Nice write. Very emotion laden.

  33. @estee. I’m Sorry it made you cry but @ least Am glad I was able to make you feel their grief.
    Thank you so much 4 reading and commenting.

  34. One Word: ENGAGING.
    This is gonna be a bumpy ride and I love bumpy rides! Woohoo! On to the next one.

  35. Now i believe MIMI… See suspense… Sorry i read it late co i came to NS late..
    I sent you a private message pls kindly reply me… I need yur help.

  36. Read this with mixed feelings, especially since I have lost loved ones one too many.
    Donno if I can continue with the series, but it’s worth the try.
    Nice one as usual, Mimi. Hugs.

  37. where have I been all the while? This is more than beautiful!!!!!!

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