I’m always looking for a voice, a sign, a direction, in every way, in everything, from the coldness of the weather, to the swiftness of the wind gusts. Everyday I keep looking, I watch the gyration of the trees, their sways to a sweet sounding lyre and sistrum, to unheard music of the great beyond – zaluzi. Watching the color of the clouds as it changes, its ever continuous flow, the formation of birds in the sky on a migration mission, I’m quite fascinated.
The swinging patterns of a window ajar being romanced by the breeze says a lot to my mind. The rats that scuttle across the floor dancing ‘limpopo’ with a leftover bone from the kitchen sink & seeing the struggling of citizens to enter a danfo through the door while only a smart one climbs in through the rear bewilders me. I see different thought forms, patterns, paths that could lead to the answers I seek, I know they are there, or aren’t they?
I watch a lizard nod with pride after a graceful fall from a fence to the ground of sand and stones, unscathed then proceeds to rush into an under-bed, I’m amazed. I see a colony of ants, the soldiers, the workers alike, their hard work, their organization, their consistency, their persistence, my gaze doesn’t waiver for there’s subliminal message in it, a link to what my heart seeks. I look on, into subconscious infinity, pondering.
I’m lost, I’m tired of writing it, I have questions, I’m tired of saying that as well without getting answers. My questions are too many, it confuses & overwhelms me. This minute I feel it may lead to my destruction; a hemorrhage? subatomic heat combustion? An implosion? Suicide? Who do i ask, the gods?
The night helps not the matter, the stars are ever confused just like am. This minute a constellation takes the shape of a perfect rosary-like object, the next minute it looks like a five-headed hydra, and the next a well endowed, buxom naked broad of which I fancy. I know we have both gone mad, I and the constellations. I look beyond these, I see stars dying and plunging to the earth, I see more being born. I see the milky way, the planets discovered and yet to be, I see blackness, I look farther, I see years that have gone by, the long dead distant and forgotten past. I see more than an ordinary eye could see.
I also see pre-existent nations, ages, I see their people, the culture, music, religion, gods, alchemy, wisdom, folly, greatness for I have gone back in time. I also see what they thought would be their future, their prediction, miscalculation, mistakes, their end and ultimate extinction. I marvel. These perceptions keep me eager, tries to make me understand, brings me hope, that I would find what I seek in not a time too long.
A big bird flies across the sky hunting, an eagle, scouring the greens for a big lunch… (To Be Continued)