I Need An African Wife

I NEED AN AFRICAN WIFE (by Bada Yusuf Amoo)

I need an African wife
A woman that believes men have nine bones
A woman that believes man comes first
A woman that thinks in the circle of men’s desire
A woman that believes her man determines her paradise
A woman that believes her man is her Lord
A woman that believes men have what she lacks

I need an African wife
Not a wife that draw me roster
That will not enter the kitchen without my presence
That becomes fragile when she’s pregnant
That looks indifferent when I am angry
That allows my sons bend rather than prostrate
That tells me what to do rather than advice

Oh I need an African wife
That will smile when she sees my mother
That will serve me peppered vegetable
That will think of home while in office

Yes I need an African wife
Not the one that will think of clients
While in the kitchen
That will serve me cold foods
In my air conditioned edifice

Yes I need an African wife
That believes her personality makes her first lady
That believes her office in the company of my house
Are the kitchen and the bed

Oh God, I need an African wife
That will be contented with the wealth you gave me
That I will be able to treat democratically

Written by: Bada Yusuf Amoo
Edited by: Kukogho Iruesiri Samson
Poetry that Speaks…

21 thoughts on “I Need An African Wife” by yusphyno (@yusphyno)

  1. You will end up marrying an illusion. I’m shocked that people like you are still in existence. This has to be one of the most politically incorrect poems I’ve ever read. This is the 21st century, don’t be ridiculous. This is so rude and I’m sorry that you think this is the definition of an ‘African woman’. I am African, I am a woman and God forbid I make a man my lord.
    You say her office is where??? You should be ashamed of yourself. This is an insult to literature, to women, to humanity and the progress we have made. I cannot express my anger at this well enough.
    Marriages and relationships are about equality, educate yourself please.

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      LooooooooooooooL @Yeniee baby take it easy wow! It is just a poem! And it is just voicing a particular characters ideas not necessarily those of the poet. Besides everything has pluses and minuses. His ‘African wife’ he might come to despise when she proves dumb or timid or shows some other ‘African wife’ vice. : )

      1. @Nicolebassey lol I know. I was really upset when I wrote that comment. I’m sorry. But I still believe that even if these are not the poet’s views, they’re still not alright. It’s just that we are still in the process of empowering women and changing the perception of females around the world and poems like this really don’t help.
        But I was rude, that is inexcusable and I sincerely apologize..

    2. Thank you for your comment but you should know that as poet, there is always an occurrence that propels you to writes some times, Madam, I purposely write the poem because of somebody somewhere. Thanks for the comment anyway.

  2. @yeniee you have personalised your comments,did it not occur to you that the writer may not be representing himself.

  3. @Yeniee, politically incorrect, u said? What has politics to do with matters of the heart such as this? U must be a muslim or something to infer that a woman has another lord other than her husband,cos I can gv u references. A woman’s place is in the home, and never away from it. I dare say the world has not been any better by the copy-copy we do from the west called women empowerment. The woman lost her equality with the man way back in Eden.

    1. @raptureisforme Women never lost her equality to man, God said, “your desire shall be to your HUSBAND (not all men) and he shall rule over you,” now Christ taught us servant leadership and that’s why Paul said to husbands, love your wife like Christ loved the Church, why use that phrase? why didn’t he just stop at love. Christ said He came to serve and not to be served. The woman’s role is to submit, and u can’t submit without loving so you see, the husband and wife are both serving and loving. How wise God is. Even the bible says “in Christ, there is no male or female, Jew or gentile etc”. If not, by being Nigerian alone you won’t be able to enter the temple talk less of God’s presence.

      As for women empowerment it is not a new thing, what of Deborah who ruled Israel or the proverbs 31 woman who did business.

      But this of course doesn’t mean a woman should neglect her home, (for the married ones) we are wired naturally, to be nurturers and a great woman is one who can handle both. Like the proverbs 31 woman.

      For every team, you need a leader, it doesn’t mean the follower is dumb or should be treated as a slave, but rather, with respect.

      I actually have no problem with the poem, we are free to our opinions, plus the writer might not necessarily be writing of His own opinion.


      1. @olan you’ve said it way better than I have. Thank you for setting things straight. :)

      2. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

        Well spoken @Olan GReat!

      3. @olan well articulated and well said….
        @yeniee lol @ur comments, u wer rly riled up….love ur comments abt ur purpose extending beyond the bed and kitchen….women are so much more…

  4. @raptureisforme hey :)
    1) ”politically incorrect” is an expression. 2) I’m christain and Jesus is my Lord. I understand a woman submitting to her husband, but I do not believe that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, or the bed; I wasn’t created for that purpose. A could decide not to get married and everything would be perfectly alright with her life.
    3)As for the so called ‘copy copy’ from the west as you put it, even if feminine empowerment started from the west it doesn’t automatically make it wrong. A woman should be able to stand by herself. Women are not inferior to men in any way.
    My father raised me to be a strong African woman.
    If you had a daughter you would want her to aspire to make a difference, for her impact to reach way beyond one man’s bed or kitchen.
    That I should even have to make this argument just makes me very sad indeed.

  5. Thanks to everyone who has come by and drop comments, I am grateful. The poem is not meant to abuse the integrity of women really but as poet, I just feel like writing to somebody somewhere. Thanks once again.

  6. african wife or african slave?

  7. hehehe…

    I feel like this poem served it’s purpose. First, I see it as a satire: that is the poem mocks what many have come to understand to be the definitive tag of the African woman. But in doing so, it also ironically makes us reflect on whether every stereotype of the African woman it reels off is really condemnable or disadvantageous. So, in essence, by instigating anger in some and romanticism in others, it has set a stage for fruitful discussion. Such is the power of poetry.

    Well done.

  8. @yeniee. I understand the impetus that gave rise to that first comment. I once reacted like that to a piece a dude posted; it made women seem like dumbos and I didn’t find it funny at all.
    This writer, going by his response actually is harmless and I do think he was writing from experience. It doesn’t mean that all men seek such though. Some can’t even stand this stereotypical african woman.
    I do believe though that mutual respect is the key.

    Hahaha @Chemokopi. U na diplomat. I looked at the poem thru your eyes and I can say now that it’s a good one – satire, that is.

    Yusuphyno, keep writing what the muse inspires, ok? Sometimes, you can put a disclaimer like ‘I don’t really mean this o, so don’t take it out on me.’ hehehe. Well done. $ß.

  9. Wow. Such a strong statement for a poem. Oga writer don’t feel bad when people react to what you just wrote. No matter where it is coming from, it will go somewhere and touch something and people will react to it. I’m a Christian also and I believe that “submission” doesn’t mean “slavery”. And again God admonishes the husband to love his wife. If a man truly loves a woman, he will see her for what she is, her talents and God given abilities and as her equal, he ought to support her all the way. Staying at home should be her choice, working in the office should be her choice too as God guides her. I’ve seen too many housewives bitter and resentful because they never achieved their dreams.
    One of the greatest commandments is to love your neighbor as yourself. A husband should love his wife as he loves himself and he would do everything to see her flourish.
    And by the way, this whole kitchen and bed business is what our modern day girls are doing today because we still have men that have that thinking. And they will employ any means necessary to see to it that they have such men, so being good in bed and kitchen does not mean a woman is virtuous. It could also mean she’s a hustler.
    And finally @yusphyno please explain about sons who bend and not prostrate. You do know Yoruba men prostrate before their elders, right? Or is there a different meaning to this? Please explain
    But after all said and done, not considering the blatant message, the literary fluidity of the poem cannot be denied. Nice…

  10. @yusphyno once again, I’m sorry for my first comment. I’m actually a nice person sometimes, I promise. I’m so sorry, I had no right whatsoever. Forgive me, please?

    1. I am more grateful. you are welcome

  11. A poet is a creator of thought. however crude or refined the thought is. @Yeniee, you are right to burst the way you did being a woman and @yusphyno is equally on the right path to wish for what he want out of his kind of woman. I salute your courage to to have apologize and that shows good you can be but I can assure you, @yusphyno did not record no offence in your outburst.

    Great work @yusphyno. More please.

  12. first of all his is the 21st century and i believe women are equal as men, there should be treated the same way, men should be able to cook in kitchen, do some laundry, watch the kids sometimes while your wife have some rest, take out garbage, kiss her and make love to her if she desire it, by chocolate, marriage shouldn’t be different from hen u are dating, not becos u are created first so men think they own us or they are our lord

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