Bamza and Leela

Approvingly quiescent, Bamza sat next to the large garbage bin.

“At last,” he sighed, he was finally in perfect melancholy. This was the only place in the circus that was without laughter or forced delirium. His legs were sprawled all over the floor in an unfazed manner. His left hand held a half empty bottle of Captain Morgan’s rum. With a sudden realization, he came back to reality from his temporary rest and gulped down the remainder of the spicy rum. Each gulp brought back harsher times; from his failed career as circus clown to his failed marriage to a woman who unknowingly was only interested in his money; it all flooded into his mind without a hint of restraint.

“Wretched woman, I hate you,” he drunkenly blurted out. The liquor was now showing its full blown effects, and with a roar he stood up and danced around to his own delight.

“Left, right, left, then right, right!” He sang the words while moving his legs accordingly.

As his mind remained in a melodic trance, a Nebelung cat appeared from nothing into Bamza’s clear front view. His veins swelled up as he became fully aware of the silky-furred cat.

“Leela!” he exclaimed, and without much thought he immediately began pursuing the cat. He chased and chased. Up and down Bamza ran, he had only one goal on this moonlit night and that was to capture that fuzzy-looking creature. The cat ran without any sign of fright, it was as if the cat knew the pursuant was a failed-man who could not even catch the pieces falling from his own life. Bamza on the other hand looked very determined to succeed, “he had to accomplish this mission life had presented to him,” he thought to himself, “He just had to.”

With his hands almost on the cat, Bamza slipped and fell rock bottom on the floor. To crown his great fall, he had fallen on slime liquid. Bamza was mortified, so he cried. He remained on the floor with discontent written all over his face.

“Blast! This dress cost me 500 bucks. Oh why? Why?”

“See what you caused,” he said, pointing his fingers at the cat.

“I hate my life. I hate this whole damned place. Oh God I am tired, I’m just tired,” He cried.

And so it was that he fell into a deep sleep right next to the garbage disposal. The cat sat close to the now sleeping man. With its glittering eyes, the cat looked at poor Bamza with pity.

And there Leela sat; patiently waiting for her owner to arise from this deep polluted mess.

“Slow Night, So Long,” she purred.



8 thoughts on “Bamza and Leela” by Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

  1. Y close 2 a waste bin na??

    1. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

      @Koollove lol at that point the guy hit rock bottom, so I was trying to portray that image

  2. “perfect melancholy”

    Just because it sounded good when you thought it up does not mean it will on paper.

    “in an unfazed manner”

    How do legs arrange themselves in the way you described above?

    “without a hint of restraint”

    The sentence is too dramatic. ‘without restraint’ would have served perfectly.

    ““he had to accomplish this mission life had presented to him,” he thought to himself, “He just had to.”

    I doubt a drunken man would think of himself in the third person. Just saying.

    Watch your words. Don’t use fifty where you can use ten.

    Good job. Get better.

  3. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

    @Seun-Odukoya, thanks for the input, duly and willingly noted..
    I think with “unfazed manner” I was going for “sprawled all over the floor.”
    The rest I might need to iron out properly..
    I am still terrible at editing but I will get better..Thanks

  4. @wordsfromuyi,

    I liked this portrayal of a man who feels he is a failure. I especially liked this line, which captured the depth of his situation:

    “The cat ran without any sign of fright, it was as if the cat knew the pursuant was a failed-man who could not even catch the pieces falling from his own life.”

    However, for me, the story lost its pathos when he started musing about his spoiled clothes. I don’t think that a man who thought he was a failure think about that. Giving the cat human thoughts also detracted even more from the depth of the story.

    Keep writing.

  5. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

    @TolaO,
    thanks for reading, that line in particular was one of my favorite. No one knows what a drunk will spill out next, so i believe even the little things will catch the attention of a drunk. Giving the cat a thought was intentional, part of my unrestrained way of writing. I will definitely keep writing, by which I will improve. But I appreciate you keeping me in check, I respect that. Thanks

  6. Uyiosa this is a nice story coming from a fertile mind but you have to watch the way you arrange those words… they are very important as that is the only way yu can get ur message right in to ur readers heart….

    Moreover, i really like the story….. If i guessed right, the tone u used was that of a man who, though, life had beaten him down, he still got himself paranoid with that RUM…. And that was why you used this ““he had to accomplish this mission life had presented to him,” he thought to himself, “He just had to.” Like Seun-odukoya said that it looks like a error; To me it, it is not an error, becos that statement showed a sign of someone paranoid from too much Rum. And that kind of statement is not far-fetched among drunkers…. they use third person mostly when they are drunk.
    thumbs up for you…..

  7. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

    @Fadehan thanks for reading, i enjoyed dissecting your comment, and it’s awesome to read that you understood what I was aiming for. I will make sure my words are arranged properly, too much disjointedness can distract the reader. Thanks for stopping by

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