An Endemic Of Cheating Husbands – Part 1

Zee was sitting down on a brown cushion in her living room. She was staring at her face book page on the screen of her two year old HP 630 black laptop.

Date April 5th 2013.

Her time line looked barren. No update for the past one year. She used to be happy in her Facebook life; a virtual life in a light blue landscape with pictures for friends. It was a carefree life. She posted happy pictures of herself with her friends.

 

Facebook asked her a question what is on your mind. She posted, ‘‘single ladies do not allow yourselves to be cheated by going out with married men.’’

She closed her Facebook page.  She got up and dropped the laptop on the cushion. Her visafone air time was reading low balance. She made a mental note to ask Faruk for the money.

I haven’t talked to my friends in six months. Tears were running down her oval face. She brushed the tears away. She was pacing up and down on the brown Chinese rug in the centre of the square shape sitting room.

Who can I ask?. I can’t tell my mum or my sisters. They think I have the perfect life.

Zee decided to write a letter to a dear aunty in a Hausa magazine called Turare (the perfume).

Dear   aunty Precious, I am a 22 year old married lady. I discovered that my husband is cheating on me. I need your advice. Please what should I do?.

She waited patiently for the new edition to come out.

Dear anonymous,

First of all go to the hospital and do test for HIV, STDS and screen for Hepatitis. You should talk to your husband. You should both sit and discuss about it.

April 8th 2013

Zee became scared, she was scared HIV. She told her husband she started her period. She was already a finicky eater. She could not eat nor sleep. She had no joy in watching her favourite T.V station ‘’Farin wata.’’ She decided that going to run tests is a bad idea. She wished she could talk to Faruk.

She checked her Facebook page. April 9th 2013.

A new  friend request.

Hi I’m Aliyah. I saw what you wrote on your wall; about not going out with married men. It is good advice but  the married men might lie to the girls and say  they are single.’’

Zee clicked on aliyah’s wall. She was surprised Aliyah looked like her. The same skinny frame, the same iman brown colour 2 skin tone the only difference was their nose. Zee’s was blunt. They were age mates.

But  the picture of the girl wearing skin tight jeans and a long sleeved shirt. With a veil thrown back delicately across her left shoulder showed a confidence beyond her years.it was her eyes that held her captive, black  old eyes that had seen the world. She looked like someone that had answers.

Zee accepted the girl’s friend request.

She told her hello how are you.

Aliyah was sitting on her bed in a small chic self- contained apartment. Everything from the blue walls, to the blue bed sheets and blue throw pillows on the floor was done in honour of the Chelsea club. she stayed in gwarimpa. She was a student of English Literature at university of  Abuja. She stared at the screen on her Ipad,her Chanel no 5 perfume wafted through the air and passed through the delicate airs in her nostrils.

She sneezed a little,’’ this is fun.

That naïve girl accepted my friends request.

Zainab or zee is faruk wife.it was by stroke of luck that she clicked on his face book wall and saw married to zainab liman.Faruk had told her he was single. Facebook was a great store of information.

Faruk shehu married to zainab Liman on february5th 2011.

Zainab Liman

Birthday 5th May 1988.

Zainab Liman had her skinny frame, some might  say she looks like me but she looks like a meek rabbit .And I am definitely a tiger.

Two years of marriage she told herself and the husband was already cheating.

Too bad for the girl.so she send her a friend request.

Friend on chat

Zee ‘’hello how are you’’  zee punched in to the keys of her laptop a letter at a time.

Ali.  ‘’fine how are you.’’

Zee ‘’are you married’’

Ali ‘’ my fbook status is showing single.’’ Ali  pressed her touchpad with a delicate touch pad with flying fingers.

Zee ‘’ can I ask you a question’’

Ali ‘’you can ask me anything, I won’t tell a soul’’

Zee ‘’ I need advice. You are a stranger. Maybe you can give me an answer.’’

Ali ‘’you can tell me anything, I don’t judge.’’

Zee my husband is having an affair.

Ali’’ how shocking’ ’how did you find out’’

Zee’’ There is always this perfume scent on his shirts. I don’t know what to do’’

Zee ‘’ we have been married for just two years’’

Ali’ ’Sorry, have you asked him about it?

Zee ‘’ I can’t ask him, what if he gets angry.

Ali’’ You don’t want him to get angry.’’

Zee ‘’ we don’t talk about anything.’’

Ali ‘’ you mean you don’t talk to your husband.

Ali ‘’do you love your husband.’’

Zee ‘’ what is love?’’ I married Faruk because  everybody gets married. Ali ‘’does your husband love you?

Zee ‘’I don’t know.’’

Ali ‘’ well what about courtship’’

Zee ‘’ we are cousins .,after I finished my HND our parents decided that we should get married.’’

Ali ’’arranged marriage’ ’but in two years you should have learned to talk.’’

Zee ‘’can you help me? I want to be able to talk to my husband.

Ali looked at her face book wall, I feel sorry for this girl. Faruk is a cunning, lying person and his wife foolish and naïve.

Zee ‘’ are you still there

Ali ‘’ the server is slow, I will help you. What does your husband do.’’

Zee ‘’he is a doctor’’

Ali ‘’what did you read,

Zee  ‘’HND in local government studies.

‘’What a stupid course’’  Ali shakes her head at her I pad.

Ali ‘’ what do you do from morning to night.’’

Zee ‘’ I  pray five times daily, do house work, look after Fahd. Watch  Farin Wata and read mills and boons and Hausa novels.’’

Ali ‘’what about news’’

Zee ‘’ I never listen to news

Ali ‘’ start listening to news that is your first lesson.

Zee ‘’ why I hate news.’’

Ali ‘’ you have to like it, all men like news. That way you can talk.my phone is ringing, one of my stupid boyfriends is calling.

Zee ‘’ how many boyfriends do you have ,they are not married right?

Ali ‘’three, I don’t go out with married men. Bye’’

Ali  stood up from her bed .She stretched like a cat. She spied  her black berry curve on her  ebony dressing mirror. It was underneath the latest edition of her  Tozali magazine. five missed calls. She  flashed back.

Hello dahling,how was your day. She  said in a slow sugar syrup voice.

Faruk  said ,i was calling you since.

Sorry I was chatting with a helpless married lady on Facebook.

Faruk, why are you wasting your time chatting with a  boring married lady.

Ali  said ‘’ faruk do you know any boring married lady.’’

‘’No I don’t he said  my married friends tell me right.’’

Yes I know you are single. Ali said.

Markaryaci kawai.

Sweetheart, I am broke can you send me money to my account. She added sugar to her voice.

How much he asked.

Forty thousand  she replied.

Okay, can I bring it to your  place in the evening .

Yes of course.

She turned on her Facebook, I wonder what time his wife thinks he closes.

6pm in the Evening.

Zee lowered the volume of her star plus T.V. She dropped the remote.  Got up adjusted her blue Ankara wrapper. She was wearing a blue flair Ankara blouse with a wide neck and the matching wrapper. She carried her laptop and switched it on.

4  Friends on chat.

She clicked on Ali.

Ali, ‘’did you listen to news’’

Zee’’ I watched al Jazeera it seems, people are dying everywhere.it made me sad.’’

Ali ‘’you can start with Channels  news.’’

Zee ‘’okay, I have it on star times.

Ali ‘’what  time does your husband come home.’’

Zee ‘’10 pm everyday’ ’he is always busy. You know he is a consultant.’’

Ali ’’what does a consultant do and what does he specialize in?

Zee ‘’ I don’t know’’.

Ali ’’check  Google or the dictionary and ask your husband what he does, he will start talking to you’’.

Zee ‘’okay.’’

Ali ‘’ what are your goals.’’

Zee ‘’ what do you mean’’

Ali ‘’what do you want to achieve from life’’

Zee’’ I wanted to get married to a well to do man and live happily ever after. ’My husband is my achievement’’

Ali ‘’ you need to think about a second achievement’’

 

Zee’’ I  saw your picture on Facebook’ ’your eyes is filled with pain’’

Ali ‘’ what are you talking about, I am a happy person.’’

Zee ‘’ I didn’t say you are sad, I said you look like someone that has gone through a lot’’

Ali ‘’it is none of your business, I don’t need help from anyone’’.

Aliyah went of chat, how dare that foolish girl tell me about pain what does she know about my life. She clicked on zee and place off chat. I am not talking to her again. She should solve her problems by herself.

Zee saw her chat ali was off chat. I shouldn’t have said anything. She is such an unhappy person. I  should know right I am sad too. I just thought maybe I could help.

She send a message

Hi I am sorry, I annoyed you. Please turn off your chat. You are the only person I can talk to. I thought maybe we could share our sorrows.

7pm, zee checked her message she refused to answer.

Faruk came visiting, she collected the money and slept with him. A fair exchange she told herself. Actually faruk was fine and funny. He was easy to talk to.

His wife is stupid she told herself but she felt a bad headache coming up.

She decided to send Zee a message saying @ zee’ ’I am fine.’’

April 10th.

She had a date with her second boyfriend a fifty something year old public official.

Ali put up with him because she always managed to steal some dollars from his pockets and bag. She was sure he noticed but he never cared. After all he was having a case with the EFCC.

Ali returned home from her tryst with the old man. She packed her blue Lexus jeep. A gift from the old man. She went straight in doors. She did not bother switching the light on. She sat down on the single chair in her room. She was staring at nothing.

She  noticed the blue light  blinking from her laptop.

I didn’t switch it off properly.

She raised it up. Her face book page was on ,five notifications from Zee.

She connected her visafone.it was quiet fast. But then she lied about everything.

Five messages from Zee.

She smiled slowly.

4pm,sorry if I annoyed you.

5pm,sorry

6pm,I am so sorry

7pm ‘’ sorry’’

8pm  ‘’sorry, bye.’’

Ali ‘’ forget about it’’1 pm

Ali ‘’I was raped at 14 in my village’’

Ali ‘’ I told no one, so don’t tell a soul’’.

She switched off everything, got up. She switched the light on and had another bath.

Morning  April,11th.

What is on your mind?

Facebook can be so annoying.

9am Zee ‘’ I am so sorry’’

9.02 ‘’ I won’t tell anyone’’

Ali ‘’ it was a long time ago.

‘’ Are you talking to your husband ’’

Zee stared at her face book page. She changed the subject. Aliyah is a strong woman. I wish I can be like her.

 

 

 



23 thoughts on “An Endemic Of Cheating Husbands – Part 1” by khadijahmuhammad (@khadijahmuhammad)

  1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

    My, my @khadijahmuhammad This is quite a story right here, I like it a lot. It NEEDS polishing, youNEED to be alittle patient with the story , in many palces it is just skin and bonesm you need to flesh that out and let the story breathe a bit. Watch your ending, since it is a series dont force closure, try to round off where there some suspense, something good or bad to experience.
    Well done, next part please.

  2. I really like this story but it was riddled with typos and punctuation errors. Re-read and edit it.If you polish it up,you’ll hold your readers’ attention. Keep writing…

  3. Enjoyed reading ur story but like has been pointed out there are some typos n dont b quick 2 end ur story,it culd do wit some suspence or more 4 d reader 2 luk 4ward 2,but in d end it was nyc,do keep it up n am luking 4ward 2 d reading d nxt episode

  4. Beautiful idea. I like it. work on the structure and other technical details as pointed out before. Besides that, I think it is compelling.

  5. Life is never easy for any,how do some manage to make succeeding in life am act form and others struggle all through.

  6. Salam alaiekum

    I have so much to say, but @nicolebassey and @Mimiadebayo have helped me out. You need to be patient when writing, and when you are through, be sure to give printed copies to friends, colleagues and Family to help review/edit it.

    Agatha Christie is probably the greatest mystery writer of last century. One of her best novel is ” The murder of Roger Ackroyd.” The story holds so much suspense that you would surely be amazed in the end. But the truth about the matter is that it was her cousin who told her what the end should look like, and he wasn’t a writer!.

    I think you should probably write the Facebook messages/chats in italics (just suggesting).

    And there was a tense confusion at the beginning of the story. You were first using present continuous tense, then you changed to past all of a sudden for the same scene….

    All the same, I praise you for your effort on this piece, and for your Facebook styled narration……. Good JOB ma…… Waiting for the next part…patiently……….
    Wasalaam

  7. Nice perspective…

  8. @nicolebassey,@mimiadebayo,@jade69,@brownieowolabi,@izuone,@kodeya,@ibagere,thanks for reading.After my last story I went back to this story and noticed some of the mistakes.I was surprised to see the story published.@kodeya,my family members don’t like reading my stories.They all like reading but they are engrossed with Animes,Manga and Jim Butcher Harry Dresden Files.They hardly read my poems not to talk of a whole page of a short story.

  9. Nice story, nice angle, nice concept, the Facebook chat dialogue was nice.

    But, it needs more work.

    For starters, what is ali’s motivation for wanting to help zee?

    Then some places, the narrative got mixed up.

    Tense issues, typos

    Hope the next instalment will be much better… Add more punch and emotional depth to the story.

  10. @topazo thanks for reading.Thanks for the corrections.

  11. Bola (@basittjamiu)

    ditto everybody, but nice story.
    weldone!

  12. @khadijahmuhammad,

    I liked this story so much that I decided to spend time showing how I would have rewritten the first half of it to polish it and remove all typos, grammatical and punctuation errors, etc. (my corrections are in bold; I’ve also italicized words for effect).

    Zee was sitting down on a brown cushion in her living room. She was staring at her Facebook page on the screen of her twoyear old HP 630 black laptop.

    April 5th 2013.

    Her timeline looked barren. There had been no update for the past one year. She used to be happy in her Facebook life; a carefree, virtual life in a light blue landscape with lots of happy pictures for friends.

    Facebook asked her a question: what is on your mind? She posted, “Single ladies, do not allow yourselves to be cheated by going out with married men.”

    She closed her Facebook page, got up and dropped the laptop on the cushion. Her Visafone air time was showing a low balance. She made a mental note to ask Faruk for the money.

    I haven’t talked to my friends in six months. Tears were running down her oval face. She brushed them away. She was pacing up and down on the brown Chinese rug in the centre of the squareshaped sitting room.

    Who can I ask? I can’t tell my mum or my sisters. They think I have the perfect life.

    Zee decided to write a letter to a ‘Dear Aunty’ column in a Hausa magazine called Turare.

    Dear Aunty Precious, I am a 22 year old married lady. I discovered that my husband is cheating on me. I need your advice. Please what should I do?

    Anonymous

    She waited patiently for the new edition to come out.

    Dear Anonymous,

    First of all go to the hospital and do tests for HIV, STDS and get screened for hepatitis. You should talk to your husband. You should both sit and discuss about it.

    April 8th 2013

    Zee became scared; she was scared of HIV. She told her husband she had started her period. She was already a finicky eater. She could not eat nor sleep. She had no joy in watching her favourite T.V programme “Farin wata”. She decided that going to run tests was a bad idea. She wished she could talk to Faruk.

    April 9th 2013.

    She checked her Facebook page. There was a new friend request.

    Hi I’m Aliyah. I saw what you wrote on your wall; about not going out with married men. It is good advice but the married men might lie to the girls and say they are single.

    Zee clicked on Aliyah’s wall. She was surprised that Aliyah looked like her. The same skinny frame, the same ‘Iman’ brown colour skin tone; the only difference was their noses; Zee’s was blunt. They were age mates.

    But the picture of the girl wearing skin tight jeans and a long sleeved shirt with a veil thrown back delicately across her left shoulder showed a confidence beyond her years. It was her eyes that held her captive; black old eyes that had seen the world. She looked like someone that had answers.

    Zee accepted the girl’s friend request.

    She tapped out a message: Hello, how are you?

    Aliyah was sitting on her bed in a small chic self-contained apartment in Gwarimpa. Everything from the blue walls, to the blue bed sheets and blue throw pillows on the floor was done in honour of Chelsea football club. She was a student of English Literature at the University of Abuja. She stared at the screen on her Ipad, as her Chanel no 5 perfume wafted through the air and passed through the delicate hairs in her nostrils.

    She sneezed a little. This is fun.

    That naïve girl accepted my friends request.

    Zainab or Zee is Faruk’s wife. It was by a stroke of luck that she clicked on his Facebook wall and saw ‘Married to Zainab Liman on February 5th 2011. Faruk had told her he was single. Facebook was a great store of information.

    Well done, and keep writing.

  13. I love this concept and I beg that you do justice to it, Khadijah. Do you have others besides family who can read ur works? I know how it feels when no one pays a mind to something you are passionate about. Send me a private message if you so desire.
    The typos and tense issues almost drowned it but the facebook thingy was quite stronger.

    TolaO has shown you how neat this story could be, so read his and follow suit.
    Keep writing and Bien hecho. $ß.

  14. Beautiful idea.
    Make it stronger.

  15. @TolaO thank you for taking out time to write out the paragraphs.It means a lot to me.I just saw it.I took a week of thinking about the Sci-Fi contest.@sibbylwhyte thank you.@Estee thanks for reading.

  16. Just keep writing and you have friends here who can help with editing and all. Good job.

  17. @khaijahmuhammad you are most welcome

  18. I like the story. Hmmmmm women palava.

  19. One of your better works, a second read for me.

  20. Wow…nice one….poor zainab imviting the thief into her home herself….cousinmarrying cousin aint that incest??

  21. @schtzilein cousins can marry each other in Islam and thanks for reading.

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