The Outcast

Outcast – Episode 6

Aunty Patience emerged from the house minutes after Clara had entered back in the house and met me sitting on the soak away crater.
‘Where is Clara?’ she asked.
‘I am here’ Clara replied from the sitting room before I could open my mouth to speak.
Without saying another word she went about dishing food.
‘Take these plates of food into the kitchen’. She ordered.
‘Yes ma’ I said and went about it with the dexterity of a hard wired robot.
Clara came outside and handed me a wrapper.
‘Use this for your oshuka’ she said.
‘Oshuka?’ I asked looking confused and lost. The word sounded Greek and foreign to me.
She took the cloth from me and rolled it into a ball-like shape.
‘That is oshuka’ she said placing the ‘oshuka’ on my head.

‘Good morning darling.’ Aunty Patience’s voice came out high pitched and cheery. I turned to see Uncle Bello standing cosmeticized with that usual icy expressionless look that sends the heebie-jeebies shooting through my spines.

‘Good Morning.’ He mumbled in reply more out of obligation than of expression of affection.
‘Good morning daddy.’ Clara greeted him.
Da… what? My ears popped. My eyes wide in utter shock.
Did Clara just call Uncle Bello ‘daddy?’ I ‘silently screamed’ within my head.
After all they did together barely five hours ago? I mused.
Or were my eyes joshing me?
Aunty Patience’s stinging slap on my back, snapped me out of my reverie, knocking off the ‘oshuka’ that Clara had carefully balanced on my head.
‘You are so mannerless!’ She shrieked.
‘You are standing there mopping at your uncle instead of kneeling down to greet him?’
‘Is this the kind of children Itohan raised for my brother?’ She kept on her vituperation.
Then she hit me again! I was appalled by her violence to say the least.
‘Good morning sir’ I finally mumbled still staring at Aunty Patience, my face a clear mixture of anger, disgust and disdain. Fair enough, Uncle Bello ignored my greeting. Not that I meant the greeting anyway.

‘Let’s go.’ Clara said gently tugging at my arm.

‘Let her carry the rice, you should carry the stew yourself.’ Aunty Patience sternly told Clara.
‘Oya carry.’ Clara gestured to me to join her in lifting the big aluminum bowl of rice to my head.
Until then, I had never carried that much weight load on my head. I stood there not knowing what to do.
Aunty Patience joined Clara in lifting the bowl of rice to my head and I felt my neck had snapped from the sheer weight of the bounty on my head. They both lifted Clara’s own to her head and she led the way.
‘Aren’t we there yet?’ I asked Clara, we had been walking for over 30mins and was now just on the outskirts of the barracks gate. We crossed the railway track and continued walking along the expressway. The day was already dawning and there were so many vehicles on the road, speeding past, just like I used to see on the television when growing up. I had no time to take in the rather amazing scenery.

‘We are almost there.’ She replied.
‘See that over-head bridge?’ She said pointing to a bridge. “That’s Oshodi Bridge; we sell food under the bridge at the other side”. It was dark, and the weight of the load on my head was becoming increasingly unbearable.

We got to the foot of the bridge and Clara explained that we had to climb the pedestrian bridge to get to the other side.

Sweating profusely from the heat of the hot bowl of rice I started climbing the stairs following closely behind Clara.

At the top of the bridge, I looked down and let out a shrill scream as fear gripped my heart at the sight of the height and the fast moving vehicles below. At that instant my legs failed me…

Comments

comments


30 thoughts on “Outcast – Episode 6” by Da'Queen (@Estee)

  1. Avatar of Zikora
    Zikora (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Wow…that paedophile is Clara’s father? Something is amiss! why does aunty Patience treat Clara like a help??

    I dnt even want to imagine what her aunt will do to her for the lost bowl of rice!

    I am really enjoying ‘Outcast’ @Estee….there is something about ‘underdog’ stories that attract me to them.

  2. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    I like the way your mind works @Zikora. The story is just budding. Let’s hope we are able to proffer answers to your questions in subsequent episodes.

    You like underdog stories! Now you and I got something in common.

  3. Avatar of Olaedo
    Olaedo (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Poor girl…. I hope her rice is not all wasted.

  4. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Yeah poor girl… @Olaedo
    Thanks for reading and commenting.

  5. Avatar of Daireen
    Daireen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Er, it is the ending I’m more concerned with, that rice…

    Ok lemme nor come and spoil your mojo *wink wink*

  6. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Lol…
    Thanks so much for reading @daireenonline

  7. Avatar of ablyguy
    ablyguy (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    That rice must not fall oh!

  8. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    I’m telling you @francis lol
    Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

  9. Avatar of schatzilein
    schatzilein (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Ewoooooo kai that food don enter one chance

  10. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Lol @schatzilein y’all fear for the food!
    I’m so happy y’all got my drift that the food is more important to her aunty than her poor miserable life.

    1. Avatar of schatzilein
      schatzilein (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      Yes oh the fear of the rice na the begining of wisdom…her aunty go smoke her alive

      1. Avatar of Da'Queen
        Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

        My dear abi o.
        Lol @schatzilein

  11. Avatar of topazo
    topazo (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Oh no!
    Nice one

  12. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting @topazo

  13. Avatar of Mimiadebayo
    Mimiadebayo (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Oh Lord! Not the rice,please…

    1. Avatar of Da'Queen
      Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      Hehehe @mimiadebayo also joined the prayer band for the rice.
      Thanks for reading sweerie

  14. Avatar of Joy
    Joy (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Oh my! Pls let d rice still b intact,i just cant bare 2 see her go tru much more punishment n i just imagine dis is just d beginning.Hmmmmmm

  15. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    @jade69 with the way the whole NS is praying for this rice, the gods must be crazy not to spare the rice. Hahahaha

  16. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    @elovepoetry
    Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

  17. Avatar of Efadel
    Efadel (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    So, @ Estee, when will we know the fate of the rice? I know the rice must fall, but I don’t know if they’ll pack it back in the pot and sell it like that, or if she’ll accept her fate when her aunt finds out. @ Zikora, Clara is the housemaid, but you know how we call everyone Daddy and Mummy in Nigeria.

  18. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    @febidel you know the rice will fall ba and you know Clara is the housemaid? Angel Mustapha revealed it to you in your sleep? Lol.
    Have been desperately trying to get in touch with my MC to give me more gist o. She’s perpetually buried in work. Poor thing!

    1. Avatar of Efadel
      Efadel (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      @Estee, try harder oh. We need to know what happens next.

  19. Avatar of Efadel
    Efadel (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    @Estee, we’re still waiting. What’s happening to your muse?

    1. Avatar of Da'Queen
      Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      I posted today dear.
      @admin please let’s break protocol for once and publish Outcast 7. I don’t like keeping my great friends waiting. #wink wink

      1. Avatar of Efadel
        Efadel (@): Newbie - 0 pts

        @Estee, I’m glad you posted it already. Hope you’re already working on 8,9 and 10. Don’t let your muse go to sleep yet.

  20. Avatar of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    @febidel you are the coolest babe going. And I mean it. I’m so excited that you are interested in my muse. #big hug

    1. Avatar of Efadel
      Efadel (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      @Estee, #Efadel hugs back#.

  21. Avatar of Tola Odejayi
    Tola Odejayi (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    @estee, I like this story. It has impending drama; I’m wondering whether the activities of ‘Uncle’ Bello will exposed, and what will happen when that happens. I’m even wondering about the feelings/thoughts of Clara in all this.

    The writing is quite good, but if you have to write this again, spend some time on polishing the work and removing the various typos. For example:

    “‘Take these plates of food into the kitchen’. She ordered.” should be “‘Take these plates of food into the kitchen’, she ordered.”

    ” I turned to see Uncle Bello standing cosmeticized with that usual icy expressionless look that sends the heebie-jeebies shooting through my spines.” would be better as “I turned to see Uncle Bello standing (no ‘cosmeticized’) with that usual icy expressionless look that sent the heebie-jeebies shooting through my spine

    “‘You are standing there mopping at your uncle instead of kneeling down to greet him?’” would be better as “‘You are standing there moping (or staring) at your uncle instead of kneeling down to greet him?’”

    “…I asked Clara, we had been walking for over 30mins and was now just on the outskirts of the barracks gate.” would be better as “…I asked Clara; we had been walking for over 30mins and were now just on the outskirts of the barracks (no ‘gate’ is needed here).”

    Well done.

    1. Avatar of Da'Queen
      Da'Queen (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      @TolaO thanks a million for the brilliant observations.

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