A Man

A living creature

Renowned to the nature

Behold! Is our mentor

His thought is our director

So much like an orator

Just like the vendor

He is our protector

A man of honor

A giver and a donor

A man of humor

Seeing him gives pleasure

A sense of leisure

We find in his tenure

The molder of our future

A great motivator

A contributor in the house of legislator

A pedagogue; a tutor

The son of jimoh

You are truly a living creature

More power to your elbow

18 thoughts on “A Man” by Bola (@basittjamiu)

  1. rhymes rhymes two a dime, thanks for sharing.

  2. Uyiosa (@wordsfromuyi)

    Nice work. the flow is impeccable. Nature wins!!

    1. Bola (@basittjamiu)

      thanks man am glad you like it.

  3. Wow, this really flowed…nice one… And well written too

    1. Bola (@basittjamiu)

      thanks for the kind words @olan

  4. I am dancing here………nice.

    1. Bola (@basittjamiu)

      lolz thanks (this one no be small thing Oo.)
      thanks for the comment. you made it all.

  5. This poem is Nice,the rhyming is great. It flows well.You can rap this poem.

    1. Bola (@basittjamiu)

      thanks for the comments @khadijahmuhammad.
      my immense appreciation.

  6. It’s good that it’s clear what this poem is about, @basittjamiu. Also, I liked the simplicity of the lines.

    You need to think about what some of your lines mean, though.

    For example: what does “Renowned to the nature” mean?

    Did you mean “Renowned for being natural”?

    Then some of the lines don’t seem to follow each other.

    For example:

    “Just like the vendor

    He is our protector”

    As far as I know, vendors do not protect. It would have been better to have “Just like a fortress” or “Just like a guardian”.

    Keep on writing.

    1. These are just what I wanted to point out…rhymes where okay, but the meaning…

  7. Bola (@basittjamiu)

    @tolaO. thanks for coming around and putting your thoughts down.

    anyways, vendors doesnt protect the human nature but they protect the newspapers.
    ” just like the vendor”
    “he is our protector”
    thanks man! you rocks.

    1. Sorry for my late response, though I saw your message.

      Nice write up, but I think you should consider changing some words as pointed out.

      There are more words to convey you expression without confusion.

      1. Bola (@basittjamiu)

        thanks, emyobright.

    2. @basittjamiu, you are right in saying that vendors protect newspapers.

      But when people think of vendors, the first thing they think of is that they sell things.

      So when you mention vendors, the first thing that people reading your poem will think of is not ‘protection’ but ‘selling’.

      If you want people to think of protection, it is better to use a word that will put that image in their head, as I have mentioned already.

      1. Bola (@basittjamiu)

        thanks, @tolaO. your comments are steering wheel to my imagination. I will forever be humble.
        thanks every body you made it all.

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