I shrieked, pulled the trenchcoat tightly over my breasts and took the stairs up, two or three at a time. I flung open our bedroom door and ran straight to the bed to hide under the sheets until the humming in my ears ceased. I was so embarrassed!
As I lay under the covers basking in my utter humiliation, feeling sorry for myself and wondering what my husband was thinking, I heard the door crack open slowly.
“Babe..?” My husband said quietly from the door. “You okay?”
I shook my head and brought it up to look at him. He was standing just inside the door, a worried expression with a slight hint of amusement sat on his face. He peered at me curiously and his lips shook as he tried to bite back a laugh.
I sank back under the covers and cringed.
I felt the bed sink low as he came to sit next to me and rub my side through the covers.
“So um…care to explain what just happened down there?”
“No…” I whined.
“well, Felix thinks you’re hot…”
“Oh my gawd, that was Felix?” I groaned. Felix was his super flirtatious partner at the law firm. I had only met him twice but everytime I did, he always tried to do runs on me. usually I laughed it off, but I remain wary of him and it definitely does not help that he has seen my body now.
“This is bad..” I muse.
“‘Don’t worry I kicked him out. He thinks I’m the man now though..doesn’t hurt” my husband chuckled “..but you. Are you okay? tell me what’s going? please?” He pleaded.
I sighed. “I wanted to surprise you coz you were so worried this morning so I cooked and took a bath and wanted to be all sexy for you when you got back…”
“aww baby” He hugged me through the sheets “you’re adorable.”
“not really. Freaking Felix has seen my body, you do know that I cannot look at that man the same now, right?”
He laughed “Don’t worry, he could barely see anything. I was in front of him and if I didn’t see much, he definitely didn’t see much too.”
I thought about this. My husband is taller and wider than Felix so that could technically be right.
“but he saw enough to know I was naked” I sulked.
“Babe, I think what shocked us both was you in a trenchcoat and a bowler hat, posing like some maradonna as soon as we stepped into the house. It was a tad unexpected if I should say.”
“don’t you care that another man has seen my body though?” I semi-sat up.
He lifted up the sheets and came to lay by me under the covers.
“I’m chill about this right now because I know he saw nothing. If you were butt-naked up there, flaunting my stuff to him, I wouldn’t be too cool, trust me” He kissed my neck.
“It was an amusing sight though, believe me” he started laughing so I poked him in the ribs.
He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each of my fingers slowly. Then his kisses trailed down my arm and unto my shoulder to my neck, where he kissed and bit it.
He lifted himself on top of me and continued kissing my neck, using his hands to draw open the coat. Then he moved down to my breasts and I smiled in anticipation, especially when his kisses trailed further down past my belly button. Who said Naija men don’t do that? My husband does and he’s good at it too!
Needless to say, we made love and stayed in bed talking for a good part of the evening, before we went downstairs to have dinner and then returned to bed again.
It was three a.m in the morning and I was in my husband’s arms. We were sprawled naked and satisfied under the sheets, dreaming, when I heard loud beeping.
“Babe..that’s yours” My husband’s sleepy voice pulled me out of my reverie.
“huh?” I reluctantly sat up and sure enough my phone was the one screaming and vibrating like a wild banshee.
“it’s three in the morning..who’s calling you?” He sleepily inquired.
“I don’t know” I reached for the phone to see who was blowing it up at this time. It had better be important.
“It’s Nkem!” I was surprised. By now she should be deeply asleep, resting from a long, hard day chasing after my godson. I quickly picked up the call,
“I’m on my way to your place, please let me in. Biko, please” She had been crying, I could hear it in her voice. My throat caught up and my mind flooded with all kinds of scenarios.
“Nkem, what’s going on? it’s 3 am in the morning. Is everything okay?” I got up from the bed and was now pacing the room.
“I’ll tell you when I get there, please. I..I can’t talk right now” she hiccuped.
“Is Nick with you?”
“Okay, I’ll tell them to open the gate for you.”
At this my husband sat up quickly from bed and looked at me confusingly.
“She’s coming here?” He asked as soon as I hung up.
“Yeah. She was crying and Nick’s not with her.”
“Um…okay…so how long is she staying for?”
“I don’t know! I couldn’t ask her that, she was crying!” I snapped at him. I was a little taken back by his question, you’d think he would be more concerned about her welfare than how long she was staying with us.
“Right. Babe relax, it’s most likely a marital issue that will soon blow over, you know that. I’m just wondering how soon is all.”
“I don’t know” I turned my back on him and called the gate man to open the gate for Nkem. He was pissing me off with his non chalant attitude anyway.
“Nnamdi, Nkem go dey gate now now, open gate for am eh?”
“Yes ma” his voice croaked over the phone “Ma? na aunty Nkem wey dey gate since? I dey hear horn dey blow for night, bet I sure say no be anytin as sleep dey sweet me small small” He chuckled “bet I tink e tay way e been dey wait outside sha.”
“Really? go open gate for am now.”
I heard him unlock the gates and shift the bolts, so I quickly put on my shorts and t-shirt while my husband drifted back to cloud 9. He was sprawled on the bed, and even taking up my space, so I hissed spitefully at his sleeping form and ran downstairs.
Nkem burst into the house, just as I opened the front door, sobbing like someone had just killed her child. I panicked and asked after him.
“He’s fine…He’s…at home” she sobbed and hiccuped.
“I don’t know what to do..I don’t know” She cried and clutched her belly.
“Nkem, some and sit down and tell me what’s happening” I led her to the sitting room. “If Nick so much as touched you, so help me I will go over there and finish him up!” I declared in anger. She stopped crying and looked at me like I just lost my mind.
“Wha.?” awkward silence.
“K. maybe I won’t finsh him up, he’s a big guy jeez. I’ll just get the hubby to do it” that made her smile a little.
“So what’s happening? what’s shele-ing? what are all these tears about?” I asked her in a mock yoruba accent.
Tears began to stream from her eyes again and after a minute she whispered,
“Oh! but that’s wonderful news Nkem!” I clapped my hands and was going to hug her,
She sniffed “It’s not Nick’s.” She looked at me and dropped her eyes.
I felt the ground below me cave in, and at that moment I knew what it really meant to be dumbstruck. The brief silence that ensued though was broken by.
“Ooo-kay. Wrong time to step into the room I guess,” I heard my husband chuckle nervously.
We both look up to see him standing awkwardly by the door with two glass cups in one hand and a tall Ragolis bottle in the other. His expression told me he would rather be sitting through a Tonto Dike movie than be in the room right now, and I know how tough that is for him.
“Uh..I’m just gonna uh..I’ll be…” He was already halfway up the stairs before he could finish that sentence.