Mickey Jay: Memoirs Of A Lagos Playboy (IX)

August 11th, 2012.
10: 15pm.

“Did you miss me?” She asked smiling, her eyes searching mine earnestly. We were at the domestic wing of the Murtala Mohammed Airport at Ikeja.

“Do you really need to ask? You know I did.” I said with feeling. I kissed her soft lips again.

“What did you miss about me?” She insisted stubbornly. Gosh! Why did she always do that? My head went into hyper drive seeking the most suitable answer that would pacify her.

“I missed your smile…your voice…your laughter. My life has been kinda empty without it.” I said with the most artistic feeling I could muster. She smiled and kissed me this time. I went in for the jugular.

“I missed our talks, our late night cuddles, the warmth of your body against mine…” I went on and on as I watched her face light up even as my mind was a million miles away. Shit! Shit!! I yelled in my mind. Why did she have to come today?! Everything was laid out to perfection. I was ready to kill two birds with one stone.

I had managed to talk Kemi into having a tryst with me and Fanny, the girl I met last time. After all the pot we smoked that night, we got talking and had exchanged some intimate fantasies. Hers was a threesome; a fantasy I was inclined to fulfill. The only problem was finding a willing third party.

Then it hit me like a train. Kemi! We had avoided ourselves since our last sinful encounter in the back seat of her car which eventually led us to her sitting room, her bedroom, her kitchen and finally, her bathroom. The sex was awesome as usual but I felt something else or so I thought. She wanted us to talk. She wanted to cuddle. She wanted to know something about me. She wanted to add me on facebook. I reasoned within myself that any form of intimacy between us would cause complications and destroy our purely physical relationship. I didn’t want that. When I woke up the next morning, I found she was awake and in deep thought. I pecked her on the cheek casually, hurriedly dressed up and left.

I called her a few hours later feeling a bit guilty. But she sounded ok so I just made a mental note to buy her a good gift for being such a good sport. After that, it was just a series of brief text messages which I never failed to delete from my phone. When I called her on wednesday, she sounded happy to hear from me. We arranged to meet at her place after work hours. I went there around ten pm, armed with a box of Neuchatel Swiss chocolates. We had a brief but combustible session after which I broached the topic. She seemed doubtful at first but when I prodded, cajoled and dared, she agreed.

I told Fanny the good news and linked both of them up. I was glad when both of them reported they fancied each other. I had rubbed my hands together feeling satisfaction while at the office, looking forward to the ultimate fun-filled weekend with two hot women. It was going to be one for the books. I was pleasantly distracted as I counted the days to Saturday. I had passed off two outings with my friends giving one lame excuse after the other. My schedule had to be free off all encumbrances. Well, everything had gone well until Christy called me at 9:45 this morning saying she was at the airport.

My feelings about Christy’s arrival could best be described as mixed. I was glad but sad. I had missed her but I wasn’t quite ready for her just yet. I was deeply troubled that this rare opportunity would pass me by. I rattled off words of poetry and passion effortlessly to distract her from my troubled state. She had become very good at reading my moods recently and it bugged me.

She wasn’t due for another two days as she had told me previously on the phone and yet, here she was. I’d taken my time to plan for today. I’d already rented an executive suite at an expensive hotel on the remote side of town; in Festac to be precise. I had to find a way. I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by especially as this was supposed to be my last tryst before she returned.

“So how was the training?” I asked, as I drove out of the parking lot after her luggage had been tossed into the trunk.

“It was great. Lots of studying. It felt like I was back in school again.” She laughed.

“I know the feeling.” I said, smiling. It was a fine saturday morning with clear skies. The rain had taken a break for almost two weeks now. The sun shone with light brilliance. The intensity would increase as the day wore on. I just got back from Festac and had gone to pick up some pot supply when Christy called me to say she was at the airport. If she could have seen my facial expression when I received her call, it would have dashed her tender heart to pieces. I was all kinds of crazy. How could she come back TODAY?!

“How have you been?” She asked fondly, touching my hair tenderly. “You seem to have lost weight.” She said, frowning.

“That’s usually considered a good thing, isn’t it?” I asked taking my eyes of the road for a second.

“Not this kind. What did you have for breakfast?” She asked.

“Breakfast ke? I haven’t had anything today.” I replied, laughing.

“I’ve told you not to skip breakfast. Its the most important meal of the day.” She chided lovingly.

“Honey, where will I find the time to worry about breakfast?”

“You wouldn’t have to if you were married.” She said, her voice piping down a notch, her eyes looking straight ahead. I stared at her for a moment and she gently avoided my gaze. Each time she talked about marriage, she seemed to withdraw. I reached out and squeezed her hand. She looked at my hand and then at my face, my eyes pleading. Her right hand covered my mine softly and she looked away. We drove in silence for some time till she broke it.

“How was Tunde’s traditional wedding?” She asked, not really changing the subject.

“Oh, it was great.” Flashes of Kemi and I surfaced. I was grateful she couldn’t see my thoughts.

“Can we pay them a visit tomorrow?”

“Sure. I’ve been meaning to but I wanted you to get back first. Tunde said he hopes you won’t be traveling for another training when the white wedding comes up.”

She laughed. “Of course I won’t.”

I looked at the time. It was a few minutes to eleven am. Christy noticed this.

“Are you supposed to be somewhere?” She asked.

“Yeah.” I lied. Or it wasn’t a lie, really. “I have a departmental meeting at the office today. I’m already late.” That was the lie.

As if to support my claim, my phone beeped in my pocket. I reached for it and checked. It was a Whatsapp message and I knew who it was from. Fanny and I had been doing all kinds of crazy chats since last Friday when we had first met. She’d sent me so many nude pictures that I made a mental note to put a password on my phone, especially now that Christy was around.

“The office?” She asked, referring to the message on my phone.

“Yeah.” I lied.

“Oh no.” She pouted. “I thought you were going to be free today so we could just chill together. Its been such a long time.”

“I know honey.” I said, tenderly caressing her laps whilst I drove. “And its going to be a really long meeting. We closed really late last night on a very disagreeable note…”

Instinctively, I went on to cook up some cock and bull story about how we had two competing clients who had given us a deadline which happened to fall on the same day and we were short of manpower.

“Its a dicey situation.” I continued. “Both clients are big and have recently become engaged in serious competition.” I had to wonder about the effortless way lies spewed from my lips at times.

“So sad.” She said, her features dulling. I could see she was heavily disappointed. My conscience bit at me a bit in that moment when I saw her soft frown. She still looked cute even when she frowned.
“I promise to make it up to you love.” I said, grasping her hand and squeezing gently. She smiled and that pang of guilt returned again but I dismissed it as quick as it came.

We drove in silence for a while. My phone beeped again. This time, I didn’t bother to look at it.

“Perhaps you should drop me off at home.”

Yes! I celebrated noiselessly.

“Are you sure?” I asked, trying hard to keep a straight face .

“I haven’t been there in weeks. I have to do some cleaning up anyway. When you’re done with your meeting, come over.”


In twelve minutes, I parked in front of her house and took her luggage into her two bedroom apartment. Her neighbors were about so she exchanged pleasantries with them while I opened her door and took the luggage in. She joined me shortly. I hugged her and kissed her.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Sure. I’ll be very busy. The house is so dusty.” She said looking around.

“I wish I could stay to help.” I said, kissing her ears and neck. She giggled and tried to break free.

“Aren’t you late? You better get going before you start something you can’t finish!” We both laughed. I kissed her long and hard and squeezed her bum before dashing outside in urgency.

“Love you.” I heard her say. I turned and blew her a kiss gallantly. These unrequited responses of mine were going to be an issue soon. How I dreaded that day!

I entered my car and as I turned on the ignition, my phone rang. It was Christy. I looked out to see if she was coming out before answering.

“Did you forget something, hon?” I asked.

“Yes. What will you like to eat when you get back?” She asked.

“Anything is fine with me…so long as its your cooking.” I said sweetly. She laughed.

“You’re just not serious.” She said still laughing and hung up.

I checked Fanny’s messages and whoa! A naked picture of her first and then, of Kemi! They were already at the location. I had dropped the key with the desk manager to give to either of them, whoever came first. I’d registered under the pseudonym of Paul Dike expecting Linda and Lisa. Her chat read:

“Where are you MJ? Do we get started without you? Lol.”

“Don’t you dare! I’ll be there shortly.” I replied.

I dropped my phone and engaged the gear. I drove like a mad man all the way from Christy’s place in Gbagada back to Festac, my heart thumping mercilessly with excitement. The road was free generally except for pockets of traffic in some places.

I was somewhere between Cele and Sanya when it happened. The road was free and I was doing an eighty and had slowed down when this danfo sped out of an intersection on my left side and skidded so close to me. My heart jumped and I reacted swiftly, swerving to my right, not seeing the SUV that had sped up to my right side in a bid to overtake me. I felt the synthetic metal of my car scrape the fender of the SUV with a loud crunch. There was a suddenly squeal of tires as the danfo did a nearly impossible maneuver, avoiding my car and speeding off while I held on to my brakes, swerving back to the left side to prevent further damage to the SUV which also skid to a stop.

My heart pumped so fast I thought it would explode. I shut my eyes and offered a silent prayer of thanks to God for saving my life. When I opened my eyes, the occupant of the SUV; a middle aged woman dressed in a blue blouse and a magnificiently tied blue “gele” and heavily decked in gold had stepped out with her passenger, another woman dressed in an identical outfit. They were fuming and spoke heatedly in Yoruba as they checked the damage. I came down from my SUV still a bit shook up but felt my legs give way totally when I saw what I’d hit.

Of all the bloody cars in this world to hit, it was my exclusive bad luck, today of all days to hit a Range Rover Sport!!!!!!

10 thoughts on “Mickey Jay: Memoirs Of A Lagos Playboy (IX)” by Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm)

  1. Ghen ghen..yawa don gas..you don buy market cos of ikebe…

    Totally love this…

    1. LMAO! Thanks for reading and commenting! @schatzilein

  2. really really nice…

  3. The bad guy is still badding… Make sure he makes it in the next one oh…

    1. Hehehehe…you know how it is. Watch out for the next episode. Thanks for reading. @ablyguy

  4. You hit a lady’s car! Your eyes will see pepper. Lol

  5. Damn! the best laid plans…

  6. Never a dull moment,nice one.

  7. wherez the next episode na?

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