This had gone too far. I jumped into my car and sped to our family house. I was in the mood to kill someone, precisely someone named Sonia. I wondered how I would handle the situation. What had she told my mum? My mum had been giving me hints that I needed to settle down soon, I had deliberately ignored them. I could guess how happy she would be to see the woman I’m supposedly dating.
Forty-five minutes later, I was at the house. Jemimah came out to greet me as I drove in. The last time I had seen my family had been last Christmas, which was seven months ago. I couldn’t help noticing that my youngest sister had changed considerably. She looked older and more sophisticated; I guess the fact that she had gotten admission into the university earlier this year added to her sudden blossom.
“Baby of the house.” I said, as she greeted me.
“Hardly baby, anymore” She replied pouting.
“How old are you again?” I asked, putting an arm around her shoulder.
“Eighteen.” She eyed me. “And in case you’ve forgotten…I’m now an undergraduate.”
I laughed. “Now on to more serious matters, where is Mum?”
“She’s in the sitting room with your…girlfriend.” She giggled.
“Why are you laughing?” I asked.
“I think she’s hot. Suitable for you.” She was making fun of me.
“Shut up. What are they talking about?
“Go and find out yourself.”
I gave her a playful swat on the head, and decided to take her advice. I took a deep breath before entering the house.
My mum saw me as I entered because she was sitting on a sofa facing the door. From the look on her face, I could tell the conversation wasn’t going smoothly.
“Jacob? Is that you?” My mum rose and came towards me with outstretched arms.
Sonia turned to watch us embrace each other, if looks could kill, she would have been dead and buried.
“You’ve lost some weight. Are you hungry?” My mum fussed over me. Typical. She was a petite woman in her sixties; and even with the emerging wrinkles, she was still pretty. Ever since my dad died three years before; we, the kids did all we could to pamper her and make her comfortable.
“Yes mum. I won’t mind some of your delicious food. Or is it Jemi who cooks these days?” I asked. I wasn’t really hungry, but I needed privacy to talk to Sonia the way I wanted to.
“You should know Jemi has learned from the master. Don’t worry she’s a good cook.” My mum patted my hand. I could see questions in her eyes…questions I had no answer to.
“I see you met…Sonia.” I said, throwing Sonia a look of disdain.
“Yes honey. I decided to pay my future mother-in-law a visit.” Sonia said, coming towards us.
I gagged. Future mother-in-law ke?
“Mum, I need to talk to my…uh…Sonia.” I said.
That’s what I love about my mum. She easily codes. Immediately she excused herself and went into the kitchen after taking one more look at me.
“What is wrong with you?” I asked as soon as my mum was out of earshot.
“You. You are what is wrong with me. You can’t keep ignoring me.” She said non-committal.
“Listen to me carefully, madam” I hissed, putting my mouth close to her ears. “You can show up at my place anytime, threaten me with the police, or even interrupt a love-making session…but you don’t ever, ever visit my mother. You don’t come near my family. Not now, not ever. Capisce? I don’t care how crazy you are, I will show you I’m crazier. You hear me?”
She had never seen me that way before, so I wasn’t surprised at the scared look in her eyes. She had gone too far and crazy or not, she knew it.
She placed a hand on my shoulder, a sheepish look in her eyes. “I’m sorry, honey. I just got scared when I saw you with…her. I can’t stand seeing you with someone else! I might just go crazy!”
I wanted to say ‘You already are’. But I held myself.
“Now, leave quietly.” I said.
“Don’t ever lie to me, Jake.” She said, tears threatening to pour from her eyes.
“Just go. Now.” I wasn’t moved by her crocodile tears.
She obeyed. And I went to join my mum in the kitchen. I found her with Jemi, talking about Sonia.
“Has she gone?” My sister asked.
“Yes. And she’s not my girlfriend. There was a mix-up.” I explained, not willing to go into details.
“There’s something off about that girl. I do hope she’s not your girlfriend. She spent half the time talking about her stay in the U.S, and the memories you built together. It sounded like a fantasy.” My mum said.
“Have no fear, mum. She’s some girl who wants me but I assure you will never have me. Now, where’s the food?” I changed the subject.
I spent some time with my mum and sister, and I enjoyed it. When I finally left, I felt better than I had in a while.
The rest of the week dragged on, I think I succeeded in scaring Sonia away, for a while at least. Barbs was another issue altogether. She called me and accused me of lying to Femi about her, and how I had broken up their ‘purely physical’ relationship. I didn’t bother gracing her with answers. I simply hung up.
Thursday evening after work, Flores visited me. I was happy to see her; it could only mean she had forgiven me for my fiasco with Barbs.
“What’s up with my best friend, the fairest of all ladies?” I teased her.
She smiled. “In your mind, you’re flattering me, abi?”
“Did it work?” I asked.
“Nope.” She said.
In a playful move, I pulled her close to me. “Are you still angry with me?”
“If I was I won’t be here.” She said, looking up at me
I don’t know what came upon me in that moment, but suddenly I was aware of her in my arms. Flores, my best friend of eight years had never looked as attractive to me as she did in that moment.
There was nothing spectacular about her outfit, she was dressed simply in a pink gown that accentuated her curves and…
I stopped myself from going any further. What was wrong with me? For Chrissakes, I had known Flores, like forever. So why did she seem so…womanly to me now?
“Let go of me, joor, before I report you to Fred.” She pushed me away and I let her go.
I deliberately ignored the tiny stirring, somewhere inside me. This wasn’t happening. Flores was my best friend and she had a boyfriend. I had no right to think such thoughts. I was beginning to think this whole Barbs issue had made me more vulnerable to women. Yes! That was it! I was horny…that had to be the only explanation for my sudden response to Flores.
“What are you thinking, mister?” Her voice jerked me back to reality.
“How I missed my wonderful friend” I said comfortably. “Come, I have gist for you.”
There was a knock on the door at that moment, and before I could answer, the door opened and Sonia stepped in.
I groaned inwardly. Not again.
“Hi, Sonia” I said. “I don’t recall inviting you.”
She didn’t answer me; she was too busy eyeing Flores.
“Who are you?” She asked in a dangerously calm voice.
“Sonia, it’s not what you…” I began.
“Shut up!” She yelled. “Didn’t I warn you? I said if I can’t have you…no one else can”
Suddenly, I was staring into the barrel of a gun.