Pillow Talk

Pillow Talk


The story is about a character who is making out with a woman – and then finds out that all is not what it seems or as it should be.




I’m kissing her. She seems to be having a crisis of conscience; struggling with herself on how far she should allow me go. Her back is tense; I feel the tautness of her spine with the tips of my fingers. She struggles a bit more – and then her lips open under mine, surrendering to the gentle probing of my tongue.


She shivers.


I do not remember where I met her or how. I do not remember what her name is – and to be honest; I really do not care. All I know is she feels really good in my arms and I am determined to take it the whole nine yards if I’m allowed to.


Did I just say allowed to?


I lied. I am determined to take it all the way whether she wants it or not.


It’s as though she can hear me – hear my thoughts. She shivers.


It is pretty obvious that she wants it however. She does not utter a word in complaint despite all the liberties I take – I have been taking. Actually, she does not make a sound. But her body speaks volumes.


You should have seen the way she shuddered the first time I put my mouth around her earlobe. I do it again – but this time I linger around the nub of it; taking my time and savoring the salty-sweet taste of her skin. She flinches and grips me tighter.


Ah. I like that. I enjoy it.


Remember what I said about her body speaking volumes? She anticipates my moves; meeting me at every junction, every twist and turn of my head. This woman enjoys kissing – just as much as I do.


Not to divert or distract, but I consider kissing a sport. I believe it should be pursued with ardent focus and dedication. I strongly believe it should be enjoyed in and for itself; not primarily as a means to an end. There’s something about kissing…


Our tongues play a small tango – hers is warm and soft at once; and tastes curiously salty. I don’t mind; she’s a pro at this game. The way our tongues are in harmony reminds me of scenes in martial art flicks where the good guy; probably Jet Li or Jackie Chan faces off with another bad guy and they’re going through the obviously-choreographed fight sequence – fist, block, chop, side-step…almost like a one-two one-two thingy. I lightly bite the tip of her tongue.


She shivers


I lightly trace her jawline…touch it with the tips of my fingers. I have this theory that it helps relax tension – almost as much as a neck and shoulders massage. It’s something I created myself – but I have been proven right time and time again. Now is no exception. She wilts in my arms, her body posture suggesting to me to do as I please.


Oh, but I intend to my dear.


You see – I can’t help these things. I told you I’m a pro.


Suddenly we accidentally bump teeth. I break off the kiss and laugh – and then she impatiently shoves her lips back against mine. Oh; I think, in a hurry are we? I tease her a bit – acting as if I’m about to break the kiss off and then meeting her as her lips chase mine. Again, we resume sparring.


She shivers.


And goes limp. At this point I somehow realize that; even though I’m not looking, I realize that somehow her blouse is off and I feel the straps of her bra better than I did some moments ago. It feels ductile – in fact her entire chest area feels really ductile. But I don’t want to go there. Not just yet.


My hands become restless as the moment intensifies, looking for something to do with themselves. They have become intimately familiar with the planes of her back, from her confusingly soft collarbone to the pliant straps of her bra. Now they wander up and down her sides, and she; without breaking off the kiss grabs them and impatiently places them on her breasts.


She shivers.


Deftly; slickly as though programmed, my hands do what I am yet to order them to – treat the soft mounds on her chest to an indulgent massage. I plant soft kisses on the left side of her neck, moving gently down to bath the base of her throat with a flurry of light busses. Continuing down between her breasts unobstructed by a blouse – a blouse my hands seemed to have so deftly unbuttoned moments before; I lap my tongue up and down the valley between her breasts.


She shivers.


By now my hands have moved down to cup her waist and here they pause – finally I’m able to get through to them. Slow down, I say; we do not want her freaking out now. Crazy hands. They listen – and then they ignore me, moving downwards to where what we both assume her behind to be. Assume to be is the correct thing to ‘say’, because to our consternation; that is my hands and me, there is absolutely nothing below her waist.



I open my eyes and all is as it should be. I am laying on my bed with my arms around a woman – and suddenly all is not as should be. My mouth is full, in fact my mouth feels as though I had been chewing on one of those half-done shaki meats that most bukas specialize in serving – that piece of meat you can never chew successfully and you eventually end up swallowing whole. My throat hurts.


I open my eyes again and find out that a third of my pillow is what it is in my mouth. The slightly disgusting stench of early-morning saliva is heavy around us, and I can see streaks of it lining the body of my pillow. It is looking at me silently; expression saying is this what you have come to, o pathetic divorcee? Na so your life don be?


I shiver.

53 thoughts on “Pillow Talk” by Seun-Odukoya (@Seun-Odukoya)

  1. Hmmm…interesting treatment of the moments before copulation.

    I won’t shiver. :)

    Well done Seun.

    1. Thank you, @chemokopi

      Bless God.

  2. Haha! You shouldn’t have woken up, the story was speaking in tongues…

    Nice work boss!

    1. Hehehehehe…

      Well – sometimes we cannot control some things…

      Thank you. Bless God.

    1. You I thank.

      Bless God.

  3. Nice one. Too many use of ‘ She shivers.’ almost buried the story. Love the initial cliffhanger and the end twist. The end is hilarious. Well done.

    1. Thank you so much.

      The use of that many ‘she shivers’ is intentional. Ask me what the idea is.

      Thanks man. Bless God.

        1. Nice ttry @chemokopi

          But no cigar. Care to try again?

  4. Hahahahahahaha! I half expected this to be a dream because no guy really has that kind of discipline. I’m speaking for myself any ways. Great descriptive skills. I want to be like you when I grow up. ;)

    Kindly read mine: Black Friday. Your thoughts are most welcome.

    1. Thank you for feeling the story. No guy has that much discipline?

      You never met me. Real.

      Thank you again. Will read your stuff and be 100% honest. That’s what you’d want innit?

      Bless God.

  5. Ah seun! 5 thumbs up

    1. Thank you so much bruv!

      Bless God.

  6. Nicely written. I love how you captured the drama that happens from the the ‘first yard down to the whole nine yards’.

    Really didn’t want it to end a dream shah but it did.

    “She shivers” helped me relate to the post more, I don’t ‘know’ why but that could probably the best two-liner of the contest.

    Always nice to read your stuff.

    1. Thank you so much Jay. Thank you.

      Bless God.

  7. Hmm, some erotic thingy going on here. Well, nice story but it had this feeling of flash fiction hanging around it. Kudos!

    1. Sweet @petunia007,

      You neglected to say if that is a positive or negative.

      Oh well.

      Thank you. Bless God.

    1. @ify1986

      And if I don’t??

    1. Thanks man.

      Bless God.

      Checking yours out.

    1. Thank you.

      Bless Him.

    1. @focus

      Thank you. Bless God.

  8. Nice story @Seun-Odukoya. I like the repetition of “she shivers”.It gives a nice rhythm to the piece.I second @petunia007 though.It does feel like flash fiction.

  9. @jefsaraurmax

    I don’t get. What if it feels like flash fiction (though it’s not)?

    Thank you much!

    1. @seun-odukoya,I believe the format for the contest didn’t include flash fiction but maybe I am mistaken.

      1. @jefsaraurmax

        It did not include it – but then, neither did it exclude it.

        Thank you.

        1. And then, I want to think that if my submission did not qualify it would not be here now…all entries were screened.

          Thanks Jef.

  10. She shivers… Shoulda joined another pillow and continued.
    Funny end there, Seun …you are a good pillow talker with smooth pillow lines. Well done and goodluck.. $ß

    1. @sibbylwhyte

      Is that so? Isn’t that so…?

      Thank you. Bless God.

  11. Nice one. “She shivers”…Hmmm, yet he’s just a yeye divorcee? who does all these magic to a woman and yet looses her? Thumbs up Seun.

    1. @writefight

      It’s been a minute. Nice to hear from you again.

      Thank you much! Bless God.

  12. *sings* All I want is your waist…!


    1. @banky….

      There’s another song that I’d like to sing to you. It goes;

      “Na so craze dey start…”

      Hehehehehehehehe – thank you! Though for what exactly I have no idea..!

  13. Read this from the collection…
    Hee hee hee! Chop the pillow slowly… :)
    Well done on the piece. It has the feel that dear @petunia007 and @jefsaraurmax mention – a flashy fictionalised flow. There’s poetry here man. Some good rhythm. The ‘shivers’ worked for me. It helped in the twist too. I think that particular phrase ‘She shivers’ that eventually changed to ‘he shivers’ was the spirit of the transition and final twist.
    Oh well… now, back to reading the For Days and Night collection. Ehem…

    1. @sueddie

      Thank you so much. Waiting for your word on that!

      Bless God.

  14. @Seun-Odukoya. While this is not exactly my kind of story (I’m sure you can guess why), I appreciate the twist of the plot and the overall rhythm. Poor divorcee. Let him beg his wife to take him back, if he can’t find a replacement. Ha ha ha ha.

    1. @febidel

      Thank you much! I hope I got your vote!

      Bless God.

  15. This was one of my best stories in your collection. Absolutely hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing!
    Superb work Musketeer!

    1. @raymond

      Thank you so much! Bless God!

  16. Nice story, but the intro could have been a bit more obscure, gave the story away from the beginning, an anti-climax if you will
    Also in this sentence “It is pretty obvious that she wants it however. She does not utter a word in complaint despite all the liberties I take – I have been taking. Actually, she does not make a sound. But her body speaks volumes” The repetition dulled the effect the sentence was meant to produce. If you had tried “…Actually, she does make her a sound, but its her body speaking, it speaks volumes”, maybe… just maybe
    Nice piece all the same.

    1. @brizio

      I’m really sorry I gave it away like that! I won’t disappoint again!

      Thank you. Bless God.

  17. lol…very well written, good descriptions….
    I am as disappointed as d MC dat it is just a dream

    1. @sylvia

      I’m sure the MC is a lot more disappointed than you are…but I’m also positive he appreciates your empathy!

      Hehehehehehe! Thank you – bless God!

  18. well-rendered

    1. Thank you. Bless God.

  19. Hilarious…this is NICE

  20. Chai it was a dream, all the planning hehehehehe.

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