Whispers from the Village Night

Whispers from the Village Night

The moon has punctured
a hole in the blank night sky.
She peeps out mournful,
gazing at smitten frogs croak
loud symphonies by the marsh.

The hunter cannot
shoot the antelope rustling
leaves in the forest.
Bush babies are dragging him
to their home by the river.

The pots sing bad songs
as they leap about in dance.
His fall brought their noise
as he snaked through the window
to know her in Mama’s hut.

32 thoughts on “Whispers from the Village Night” by chemokopi (@chemokopi)

  1. A picturesque one but d arrangement kind of sounds off-key

    1. @Hymar: Thanks but the post is not a single poem. Three poems.

  2. I hear, clandestine activities… The first stanza is the bomb for me… nice one, it ended too soon though.

    1. @excellency: You know. You know. I like the first (all three are distinct poems not stanzas of one) most too. I was following a very strict poetic style so it had to be this terse

      Thanks for reading and commenting bro!

  3. Only the arrangement. That is the only thing that makes sense.

    1. @kaycee u ought to be more patient and look well
      So @chemokopi , u know which I like best “Boy”….cos that guy must av been doing something bad and must surely av been caught while sneaking in.
      But, do tell….
      “Hunter” got me all over the place.

      1. Hehehe..@shaifamily, “Boy”, again, was inspired by some things I heard about village life. Some dudes use the silence of the night to have sex with their girlfriends…in the girls’ mother’s rooms! They will just get in through the window, do a quickie and vamoose! In one similar scenario, the girl tied a rope to her dress that hung out the window at the other end. When the bobo came, he just tugged at the rope from the window and thus signaled the girl that it was time to wake up, get out and do it. :)

  4. Nice work…the thing about poetry is that it mustn’t always rhyme, and it mustn’t explain itself all the time. Did I say nice? Beautiful, though short. But it’s brevity helps it have the sanpshot quality that makes me want to read it again. Thumbs up..keep writing.

    1. @chymdiinma: Hmmm…what can I say? You swam into the poet’s mind and read his heart.

      I should say too that these three poems are Tanka’s and I followed the syllable and line numbers required to the letter. Difficult but very rewarding.

      A picture is worth a thousand words, I believe. Thanks a lot.

  5. I would like your opinions on this one @onyekadike, @afronuts, @nicolebassey, @topazo, @tosinosha and @shaifamily. Thanks.

  6. @chemokopi errrm, u asked for my opinion…saw ds like around 3a.m dis morning and I was like “Heck…..”

    I will say, you did good wif the last one. The witticism and message is clear.

    The second however….please maybe I need to wear my glasses o. I see and then I don’t.

    1. ;) @shaifamily. The second poem is an image I drew from a story I was told in the village about bush babies and a hunter. I wanted to express a situation where your demons or nightmares prevent you from pursuing and meeting your targets, even when they are right in front of you and easily attainable. Thanks man!

      1. @chemokopi OK. Cos I was finking it could be d “antelope” that was the boy – the one sneaking around at night for a piece of some issh….See?

        1. @shaifamily: Oh! Now I understand. The three poems are actually not related to each other in any way except that they are all set in the village and occurred at night.

  7. @chemokopi
    Now that I know that they were different poems the whole picture becomes clear. Nice concept too: one night different locations, different events. The frogs croaking in the marsh, the hunter being hunted in the forest, the boy….well the boy waking the whole household in his haste to know her…

    Dnt knw though, this line doesn’t seem to fit “gazing at smitten frogs croak”

    Nice work!

    1. Hmmm…thanks @topazo. Will look at that line again and see what my muse says about it ;)

  8. The three poems are just superb although I don’t much agree with the idea of the ‘Frog’.- how about;

    Gazing at the dead silence…!?

    2nd and 3rd poem have powerful imagery.

    – we let our challenges derailed us from the good ahead.- The hunter.

    -mehn! For the third poem, I must say @chemokopi, you be bad Guy. Very funny.

    The second and third poem have clear pictures so I can really relate with them.

    1. @shomyk: Thanks for your kind words man. Really appreciate them. Since @topazo had a problem with that area, let me do some explaining.

      Please tell me what you think about the ‘frog’ after this:

      The moon came out that night because she was lonely: yet she found there were no stars in the sky to adore her, and hoping the Sun comes out to keep her company is vain wish. So seeing the frogs below croak love songs to each other under the romantic charm of her light, makes her sorrowful and jealous.

  9. @chemokopi
    How does this sound:

    The moon has punctured a hole in the blank night sky.
    She peeps out mournful,
    Looking dolefully on as love struck frogs croak loud symphonies by the marsh.

    1. @topazo: you know, funny enough, it was “love-struck” I used at first. With this your example I am now convinced ‘love-struck’ has more impact than ‘smitten’.

      Thanks bro!

  10. Clever use of words. and imagery, pathetic fallacy, in paintin’ the milieu/picture

    Up to par @chemokopi, stay inspired!

    1. Thanks @ayistar. You are too kind.

  11. Okay…this is one of those poems that are so simple that they begin to look complex.
    It reads simply and paints a vivid picture but I can’t help thinking there is a hidden meaning to it.

    And while I get the ‘Moon’ and ‘Boy’ parts, I’m trying to figure out the symbolism of the ‘Hunter’ part. Then it seems the only thing that connects each part is just the night ambience.

    Nice short poem which can be confusing to some readers and yet simply understood by others.

  12. @afronuts: You and this your articulate reviews ehn! Love this: “…this is one of those poems that are so simple that they begin to look complex.” Exactly what I intended them to be!

    Part of the confusion, as I have pointed to others, is that you saw the three poems as one. They are three distinct poems which, like you rightly found out, are connected only by the night’s ambience. Hence the title. Each poem is a whisper.

    Ironically, the second poem holds the most symbolism for me. Like I was saying in a comment above, HUNTER speaks to me about failure at the edge of breakthrough. Sometimes in life, you are held captive by your demons which even though small like the bush baby, are strong enough to keep you from catching your dreams, fulfilling your purpose, or seeing your vision clearly…all these encapsulated in the antelope rustling leaves in the forest (one of the animals the hunter set out to catch that night).

    Then BOY on a deeper level, speaks to me, partly, of how good security can be made discreet. The pots were like an unexpected alarm that awoke the house when the intruder tried to get in. It’s not always that security should be made obvious and imposing, like Nigeria’s tends to be. I once heard, if I remember correctly that an SS and CIA team of no less than 500 men combined will be on ground in the destination of the American President when he boards AirForce One. Of course, much of that number will be invisible to the man on the street. But something suspicious and see… :)

    And yeah, these are just my own interpretations. I know you have your distinct ones afronuts! :)

    Thanks again ;)

    1. @chemokopi

      you deduced just as I thot.

      I knew they were different stories in one.
      However, the boy was not just about security…wasn’t he on a mission ‘to know her’?

      1. @afronuts: Yeah, he was on a mission to ‘know’ her. Someone else might deduce that to represent the risky or foolish things we are willing to do to satisfy our cravings. Yet another, might see it as the shame that one day catches up with workers of iniquity (I am not righteous o!)…and on and on.

        I just painted the poems…like a recording of visions. The revelations started coming later. ;)

  13. @chemokopi
    still reading your works super wordsmith…………..

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