Adam Bala: 1

Adam Bala: 1

THE FIGHT AT SCHOOL!

Introduction

It is the year 3012. Man and Alien now dwell together; or rather, mankind has become slaves to aliens in a subtle way. The aliens are better at all things. At leadership, they have all the mental acumen needed, at sports, their bodies are well suited and worst of all; their fighting abilities are second to none. These aliens are called Viaws. But we humans have nicknamed them, THE AWES! One thing needful do they lack…THE FEAR OF GOD!!!

Episode 1

“No, stop! Stop!! Stopppp!!!” Screamed Egrad.” Muhaahahhahhahhaha, you pig! How dare you!!!” screamed the fat alien boy, Sunta. Sunta and his gang, made up of four boys, had cornered Egrad and unlike human boys, alien boys had no reservations with hitting girls.

2hrs earlier

“Ok class, when did Fridzetid Walbuf become the Supremor of Acbit”, asked the class teacher. A dozen or so hands shot up. All were alien hands. It had become the norm of the day. The Viaws were far more advanced than humans. They saw things in 4-D while man still struggled with 2-D and only the very fortunate ones could see in 3-D. This was reflected in everything the Viaws did in conjunction with humans. And in this little quiet classroom, in the city of Lagos, Nigeria, it was no different.

The teacher was a little tired of having the same students answer the questions and looked round for a non-alien member of the class. “Adam. Adam Bala. Would you like to answer the question?” the teacher probed, hopefuuly. “Adam? Did you even hear the question?”

Adam stared at the teacher with dreamy eyes. Then, stifling a yawn he said, “Twas the year 2769.” “2768” screamed Sunta, with a smirk on his face. The teacher, still staring at Ahmed with mild amusement, said “Wrong Sunta. It wasn’t in that year.” Hardly had she said it that it dawned on her that she had never had to say that before. Sunta looked flushed and embarrassed.

“It was the year 2769. 2768 was when he was officially supposed to and the rituals had started but there were disruptions caused by some Division members so it was 2769 he finally assumed office.” Everyone turned towards the direction of the voice. Egrad Op, the shy alien of the class, bowed her head to cover her face as she softly gave out the answer. The teacher nodded very slightly. Now, Sunta was overwhelmed with anger. Egrad gave a little shudder. And Adam drifted back to sleep.

 

And Now

Kpaaaaa!!! Sunta’s six finger palm fell across the face of Egrad. He had never been so humbled before. He hit Egrad again and again. “I have to deal with you properly to teach you a good lesson. Maybe I will just rape you, that’s a fitting punishment for not knowing your place” he said. His cohorts jubilated and laughed. The friend to his right already had his pants down. Their laughter was unending.

“NO!!!” Egrad screamed. “How would you do this to your own kind? How…” her voice trailed off when she saw the underpants of all the boys were down. “Do you think I care? I am who I am; I do not care about the next person…Alien or Human. I hate anybody who thinks he is better than I am. I am Sunta. HOW DARE YOU DISPLEASE ME!!!” “Pleassseee…pleaseee…I beg of you!” The boys came very close to her and then…there was a loud scream.

“Aaaaaarrrgggghhhhh.”

“That wasn’t me,” thought Egrad. She slowly opened her eyes and sharply gasped. There standing in front of her, chest pounding, jaws set, was the nonchalant lazy student of the class, Adam Bala. “Huh? What is this? A human boy? Taking out 5 alien studs in less than a minute?” She looked round in amazement. Sunta stood up slowly, like in a daze. “Wha…? What happened? How did…? How did…? When?” he mumbled incoherently.

And then it came to him like a flood. He took one look at Adam and shrieked like a wounded lion. He charged at him and this time his claws had come out. He was running at top speed when Adam dived at him. Low and hard. Whilst in mid-air, Edgar could see the movements in 4-D. She saw how Adam headbutted Sunta’s chin and used his knee to hit his groin simultaneously and how Sunta’s face recoiled in agony as he flipped over. Then Adams right elbow went up and came crashing on Sunta’s chest. By the time they hit the floor, Sunta had passed out.

“Impossible! A human able to fight using the laws of 4-D?” Edgar was in shock. Adam picked his bag up, and with those dreamy eyes that suck you in, he looked at her and said, “So you Viaws really are like uncircumcised humans.”

 



12 thoughts on “Adam Bala: 1” by Sleeicktales (@sleeickstories)

  1. I like the originality but the telling could’ve been better. Also you referred to Adam as Ahmed at one point. Good one.

    1. YES!!!
      @Myne…tht ‘Good one’ @d end of ur comment has made me tres happy…

      The story could have been told better right?
      *sigh*
      I will work on it…hmmmm…not wanting to burden u buh where exactly wd u effect changes shd u b me?

  2. I like the story.
    But you need to go over the work again, slowly. There are some typos you would find, and there was a place in the class where you mentioned an Ahmed instead of Adam. I felt uncomfortable when that Suntan, was hitting the female, Adam should have interfered sooner juo.

    1. baba @kaycee

      u knw ur a DON…so when u say ‘I like the story’…hmmmmm…aaahhhh…o boi…*make-i-no-articulate-the-happiness*

      With my last story and this one and the comments…I am seeing that I rush my stories…like serzly, d error of Ahmed instead of Adam dey bow me sef.

      Loolll@Sunta…fat alien pig boy

      Thanks @kaycee…’I appreciate’ is an understatement

  3. Very interesting story, @sleeickstories, with an intriguing premise.

    I did feel the narrative didn’t flow as smoothly for me as it should have.

    Also, one boy taking out five aliens sounds a bit hard to believe. But I’ll keep on reading…

    1. @TolaO…mucho gracias!!!!!!

      Mehnnn…help me out somehow…how does a narrative flow smoothly?
      When I read some articles here…I ‘see’ the smooth flow…serzly…and when am writing it kinda flows in my head…my imagination…buh when the writeup is reviewed…well…

      So how do I get about making it ‘smoother’?

      Loooolllll@one boy taking out 5aliens…
      I explain it somewhat in the other parts(unfortunately v submitted em so I cnt re-edit)
      Of whch u knw say some bullies no sabi fight sha…looolllll

      Thanks @TolaO…i reallie appreciate

      1. @sleeickstories, I think you could make your narrative more fluid if you didn’t use ‘2 hours earlier’ or ‘and now’ to indicate switches in time. For example, you could have something like this:

        “No, stop! Stop!! Stopppp!!!” screamed Egrad.

        ”Hahaha, you pig! How dare you!!!” Sunta, the fat alien boy, sneered, as his gang of four stood around the cornered Egrad. She knew that alien boys had no reservations about inflicting violence on girls, and she trembled with fear as she remembered the events that had made them filled with hatred towards her.

        The bolded bits provide a hint to the reader that he is about to be taken back in time without you needing to have a separate header.

        1. @TolaO,
          Wonderful…I get ur point fully and I am so very grateful.
          *sigh* I shdnt v put up parts 2 & 3 just yet…

          Ah well…I will make subsequent changes from 4…
          thanks for your many support @TolaO

  4. hmmmm… some kind of American kids cartoon movie or something? I like the story, not minding the deficiency in the telling. I think you’ve got to do a little more descriptions in this kind of strange tales to create some kind of minds picture. here I cant tell what the aliens look like. well done!

    1. Thank you @coshincozor

      I really appreciate your comment.

      Loolll@not minding the deficiency in the telling.

      You know…I seriously get your point as to not knowing what the aliens look like.
      I will take my descriptions more serious.

      Thank you once again.

  5. D writer’s power lies in his imagination and his greatest constraints is d ability to translate ds mental images into words. His mastery of d language and d rules of writing gives him lots of weaponry to overcome dt barrier….@sleekickstories u hv a grt imagination…all u need do is to overcome dt constraint..and ur readers wl b held spellbound

  6. You have a good story..keep improving

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