War a grave

War a grave

I left my home with my family in tears n fright
I knew I was going to fight for my nation,
But they knew I was going to die, from my tension,
Living them to mourn and suffer my plight.
All over was fear before my fellows,
As my family held my legs not to go
I was weak with theirs kisses and hugs
But later brave hearted in the line of war.

I was fighting to stay alive,
Fighting to keep my soldier friend’s life,
Kent died just to save me in the horrible field.
“You are my hero my friend for being my shield”
Though i was afraid of those rival fools
Then i became crazy with the way shoot.
My fate was far from my thought
But my senses were as sharp as a sword.

As I conquer when I stoop so low and slow
My family picture never stopped pinching me inside me clothe.
My picture was biting my heart for home,
But I refused my and rolled.
It was gun shots from every side,
From the four corners not so mild,
Putting down every soldier as we fight.

It is obviously horrible on this path
As every soldier run helter skater.
Just because of no job in my country,
I chose to be at this dreadful boundary
Swimming under this killing smokes and flames,
as my cherished life goes as take on the lane.
If I get myself killed my family cries all day
my name obviously becomes forgotten page,
Without the master’s last homage,
But the masters have ordered:
“Obey the very last command”
A terrible statement to the grave yard
But then, after a long while of war play
Putting down my angry enemies heads
“is all over, the dreadful battle” I shouted.

Then, my family picture I brought out with a smile,
To my two kids and to my pretty wife:
“I will be home soon for your hugs”
Then, came the sound of unknown gun shots,
I was standing now on my kneel;
I was laughing now crying;
I was happy but now sad,
Just because the war I thought had ended
Has landed three heavy bullets on my chest,
From my humble dear enemy,
Facing far, but in front of me.

I couldn’t bear the pains and the hotness
My surviving fellows in tears hitting me to be strong:
“Hang on serg. Stay close, don’t leave your squad”
Their cries, angrily echoing in the field,
But then, silence was the only thing I could give
And with my last breathe and strength:
“Please tell my family we shall lovely see again”
A statement from me to my surviving fellows.
Out of my country, I was a soldier and a fellow,
And now back to my country a copse and a hero

6 thoughts on “War a grave” by mbajisampsonikenna (@mbajisampsonikenna)

    1. Is dt all u got to “offer”? A very lame “hmmm” ….

  1. @mbajisampsonikenna I like the premise of the piece. But, the execution is poor. Maybe, if you took more time to look at the words you could have found better substitutes for some that made the piece go off-kilter. As I av learned, poetry is better with fewer, more compact words that say all u want. That is wah I see wrong with this, you tried to attach an expression to every emotion.

    I will like to see maybe a re-write of this….a tighter, more compact one.

    I do like the premise, cos I had written something similar before.

    Good job.

    1. Totally in agreement with you @shaifamily.
      Again, the poet here began in the past tense and moved to the present.
      I liked the last two lines though

      1. @adaobiokwy we r usually in “agreement” na. Lol.

      2. @mbajisampsonikenna http://www.naijastories.com/2011/09/mamas-soldier-boy/ same theme and that is why I like wah you r trying to do here.

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