The Green Judas Factor

 Written when Nigeria had her 49th birthday


I have been sitting in my barber’s shop hoping that customers would come by so that he could put on his light generating set so I can equally charge my ‘dead and gone’ laptop computer which had been my only consolation due to boredom brought by our epileptic power supply.

I watched benignly as the time slugged i had the inspiration to write this article. That is by the way, right now, I am supposed to be keying this article away on my laptop PC like a trigger happy assassin from Sicily, with a new target but no! I am going through the stressful process of putting it down pen to paper since my PC is lifeless.

I ask myself, am I moving forward? The answer is no, I am being retarded by this “no light” virus and so is every other Nigerian, although with the exception of a given few I choose to term the “blessed few”. I refuse to delve into all the putrid sections of our country needing a touch of God himself. Although I am vexed,i wont write about them all, they are so colossal for me, and even if I do, I will be but a garrulous fool when I am done.
Nigeria is 49, 40 and 9, what a number. Both numbers have strong significancies, both spiritual and otherwise. E.g, It is said; a cat has 9 times 9 lives, a stitch in time saves 9, why not 3 0r 6? A mother carries her unborn baby for 9 months, why not 12? And what about 40? Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights, the rain (in Noah’s days) fell for 40 days and nights, Isreal ate manah for 40 years, Moses led the Isrealites from Egypt at the age of 80 (40 Divided by 2).

I could go on and on, the list is endless. From the above you will observe that the number 40 has a lot to do with fulfillment of promises, talk more when an extra 9 is added. Yes! that was in days of old, what about now, the new times, shall our own be different? Time after time, endless promises have been made to us with regards to power supply, and yet at 49, we cannot boast of power a little bit close to the word ‘constant’, this promises remain endless and unfulfilled.

In the beginning God said let there be light, and there was, but frankly I do not think Nigeria was an exception in that command. So I ask, why are we still wallowing in despondent darkness? As a kid, I hardly noticed the existence of power just as I did the air I breathe. But now that has all changed, all we have is the “on and off” tradition of power by PHCN and NEPA(whats the difference). You need not be told when power comes to the neighborhood because all the kids around are in ecstasy seeing the light come up as they all shout in unison “UP NEPA” (even the adults have joined this chorus). Shameful!!! In my house, in my mind, I do too, of course, I have no choice but to be grateful. I dare to say that the PHCN have turned to demi-gods even in these enlightened times.

Oh light! Why hath thou become a “judas factor” ? An object of betrayal, lies, deceit, body of crime. Oh light! What if you were constant , your domino effects such as hunger, malaise, robbery, prostitution, rape, ritual practices, 419, drug and child trafficking, the list is endless.

Will all these have been curbed to a minimum? And what about your butterfly effect? Just one of these I mentioned above have been responsible for crippling, crumpling and grinding our country’s international image to mish-mash, thus; we have other countries believing that nothing good happens or comes out of Nigeria thereby looking at us with disdain, disloyalty and disrespect and waiting for the very moment when they will segregate and demote any of countrymen.

With this happening, the blessed few, our rulers all sit ‘ad libitum’ without concern for us below the food chain. Less I forget, am still in my barber’s shop, and the good news is that he has turned on his new generating set (his third), so I am sure of a romantic foreplay with my laptop PC tonight.

The increasing amount of light generating set import is a vociferous knowledge even to a nine month old baby, that Is why my whole street sounds like Aliko Dangote’s flour mill factory. Between me and you, it is a known fact that as long as this “light machines” are being imported in quantum, the chances of constant power would be like a planetary and lunar mission or like catching a Coelacanth in the Niger river.

Earlier I mentioned ‘the blessed few’, you wonder why. Well, this is because they amass wealth upon wealth at the expense of our ‘light-less’ despondence and misery, thus; enriching their pockets and impoverishing us, blessing themselves and cursing us. How long shall we continue to dwindle in this puddle of mediocrity, this maze of idiocy and selfishness. How long shall we tolerate this segregation by the so called blessed few. And I keep asking. Who shall be our messiah? Who shall be our David? Who shall we send?

I am not talking about an Umoru-like figure,or a ‘Lucky’ figure no! We don’t need luck now or do we? Am talking about a Mandela-like figure, a J.J Lawrence-like figure. A figure with a fear of God as much as cardinal Okogie’s, A figure with the fury of Zeus, wisdom of King Nestor of Pylosis, and probably the strength of Hercules and mostly the viciousness and fearlessness of Achilles.

I have stopped weeping and wailing and I am asking you to do the same and embrace life for what it truly is. We must not remain in despair, we may still go to glory, for even the Coelacanth was rumored to have gone extinct along with dinosaurs over 65 million years ago , yet one was captured by fishermen on April 21st 2001 in a coastal town called Malindi in Kenya.

Again we may still go to glory, for just as the climbing perch (anabas scanders) has modified gills to allow it to survive out of water for 5-6 days, so shall we modify our own gills and our stratagems to fight one common enemy. Whenever I am diagnosed of malaria, typhoid or both, I cry foul telling the doctors that my real illness is the “no light” syndrome for even this is as bizarre and dangerous as BZ (nerve gas) which causes drowsiness, disorientations and hallucinations. Thus, just as the Byssus clings to rocks, so shall we cling to this life as thoroughbreds irrespective of whatever is thrown at us. I the 36 states of my country, i see lagos, “Eko oni ba je” WE MUST SURVIVE. “Omo naija ni wa se”

Written for my fellow Nigerians

9 thoughts on “The Green Judas Factor” by Blaise Aphascea (@aphascea)

  1. Power generator would have been better than light generator. Laptop computer could have simply been laptop.

    The second paragraph is terrible. Repair it.

    I think the whole post needs re-painting.

  2. Hmmmn. What he ^^^ said

  3. Hmmmn. What he ^^^ said. Your title and post picture is the best thing about this article

  4. @Kaycee, omo I wrote this 3years ago, just dug It up out of no wia, that point in tym I thought I was the best writer walahi, we alws feel like that smtyms…

    @vescucci hehehehe, I knw, I postd this cos I needed the constructive criticsms……

    Abeg make una dey make full commments thnx.

    1. Lol. In that case. I hope you’ve improved. We always think we’re the best thing since sliced bread in the beginning

  5. This article needs too many repairs. You might as well buy a new one at the same price. Good work!

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