Hopeless Times

In my lonely hopeless times
I lay with no wings of freedom,
I cried for the end of time,
When my heart was triggered with thorns,
Sickness lights my home so down,
As I wished not to wake at dawn

I see peers around for a playful cheer,
But I chose to be alone in my painful hole.
My heart beats as I feel my death is near
And my fear breeding hotness in whole
Every symptom seeks a nest in me,
As my happy days I seize not to feel.

Even when the music cares and plays,
My numbness holds my emotion not to wake.
Sweetest night dears me for a rest,
But I feared not to close my eyes to death.
I sit and worry in darkness and pains,
As my body wears a battle field ends.

When will my darkness feel the endless light?
For my happy days not to sight my gloom
When will my dying powers kill my body plight?
To save me from these holes of doom
Until I lie like the brightest stars in the city,
I’m a grave with an epitaph of pity.



9 thoughts on “Hopeless Times” by mbajisampsonikenna (@mbajisampsonikenna)

  1. Hmmn.
    Very tight.

  2. @mbajisampsonikenna

    The First and last verse were the best (for me), but from the last two lines in the first verse thru to this 3rd verse:

    “Even when the music cares and plays,
    My numbness holds my emotion not to wake.
    Sweetest night dears me for a rest,
    But I feared not to close my eyes to death.
    I sit and worry in darkness and pains,
    As my body wears a battle field ends.”

    ….I was totally lost. It is not like there were no meanings, but the whole thing is outta skew….the arrangement and choice of words could av been better. Much better….

    For instance, ” …sweetest night dears me for a rest,” “…as my lbody wears a battle field ends” wah’s dt? i don’t understand wah ds words were doing there or wah they were meant to achieve….enlighten me if u will.

  3. Well… I think @shaifamily makes some sense there. That apart, it’s ok enough. But could be better. Write on!

  4. You can only get better. I look forward to reading your next post.

  5. @shaifamily, when sweetest night comes for me to rest,i will refuse to honour it because i feels i will sleep to death.

    “as my body wears a battle field ends” my body looks like the remains of a battle field scene. the scene of where a war took place. that is the feelings from depression.

    1. @mbajisampsonikenna I fink I understand wah you r trying to portray….even before u highlighted them here…my issue is wif the words used and their arrangements. U’ll recall I said it puts everything out of skew.

      Well…..

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